The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction ever!
by Goldenrod Lockhart
Summary: Today on CPPFE! See what happens when Harry Potter tries to convey an important message...by SONG AND DANCE!
1. Signature Shinanagins!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction ever

(The view is just a Burgundy curtain, which moves at times from the wind or the people on the other side. Finally, it opens and I walk onto the stage donned in a Goldenrod suit with matching hat and shoes, the wizard robe flowing in the wind) Good evening. I am Goldenrod Lockhart and welcome to the feature. Now, before we start the show, I'd thought I would just tell you about how this fic would go. If you remember me from the past attempts of putting this story up, I would do one chapter that I wrote myself and then a Request chapter where you lovely readers would send to me what you would like to see. It would, however, depend on how well I know it. Be it Anime, Tv shows, or movie. Now, I think I've kept you too long with my insistent rambling, let's begin.

Oh yes, there's one more note I'd like to leave you with. In this story, There Will be tons and tons of Characters that may come from Various Anime/Movie/Television series so I would like to say that I do not own ANY of the Copyrighted Characters in this fic. And believe me, there are a lot. Enjoy!

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(O-Chapter 1: Signature Shenanigans!-O)

It was a sunny day in the Independence Hall. There was a lot of excitement going around that day see as they had just finished writing the Declaration of independence. During a break, John Adams had decided to settle down with a newspaper while smoking his pipe.

_Hmm, _He thought. _I see the Samhaders have beaten the Kinokuus by a nose. _The Samhaders were his favorite team. He was fully immersed in the Periodical that he didn't notice three people coming in.

Those three were Benjamin Franklin, Robert Livingston, and Roger Sherman. Roger had a Quill pen and a piece of parchment. They stood behind John's Chair as Music started out of seemingly nowhere. Roger cleared his throat and John looked up.

"_Mr. Adams, I say you should sign it_," Roger sang while holding up the quill pen and the Parchment which was the Declaration of Independence. John rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on. Not THIS again." He sighed annoyed. Apparently, this has happened before.

"_To you legal mind and brilliance we defer_." Roger continued as he handed John the Pen.

"I'm sorry. I'm not going through this again so you can take this back, thank you." John said as he handed it back to Roger.

"_Mr. Adams. But, Mr. Adams. The things I write_…the things I write…" Roger had started to get stuck as he suddenly had forgotten the words "Hang on…Mr. Adams. But, Mr Adams. The things I write are…Dash it all. I've forgotten the rest of it." The music stopped much to the relief of John.

"And I'd wish you would forget about me signing that constitution Because I'm not going to." He said while going back to his paper.

"But we really DO need to get your signature, John." Pleaded Benjamin.

"Yes, we really do. We have to get it in to Mr. Jefferson sooner or later." Robert added.

"What does the dry cleaner have to do with this?" John asked.

"No, no. _Thomas_ Jefferson." Robert corrected. "We need to send it to him."

'But HE doesn't have to sign it Because he, for some reason, had to go away to France and I can't sign it because I'm obnoxious and disliked…" Said John, quoting the song. "…And I _can't_ believe I just insulted myself. Now please, Could you leave so I can have some peace and quiet?" Benjamin stood his ground.

"Well, _we're_ not leaving untill we get your signature!" He said

"AYE!" The other two agreed.

"Alright then, fine." John said. The other two thought he meant he was going to sign the parchment untill he added "I'll just go somewhere _else_." John got up and started to go upstairs.

"Come on, we can't let him get away!" Robert whispered to the others so they started to follow him. Halfway upstairs, John noticed them.

"And just _where_ do you think _you're_ going?" John demanded of them.

"Come on, man. We _really_ need you to…" Roger started to say.

"NO!" John shouted and ran upstairs. There was a sound of a slamming door in the distance.

"Darn it! You know, we're not getting anywhere with him being stubborn like this!" Benjamin raved.

"Yes, at this rate, We'll _never_ get his signature." Roger added.

"Now don't you two worry. Mr. Livingston has a _sure_fire plan that is fool-proof and almost _guaranteed_ to work." The said person declared.

"Please. I _hate_ it when you talk in third-person. It's creepy." Benjamin stated.

"Sorry. All right. What we're going to do is…" and they huddled together to discuss the plan. It was later on in the day when they decided to put it into action. They spotted John sitting at a table with his legs crossed. "All right. Let's go!" Roger said and they approached him with the pen and parchment. John just groaned.

_"Please__,_ John. Won't you sign the constitution?" Benjamin pleaded.

_"Please__,_ Benjamin. Won't you leave me alone already?" John asked with a mocking tone.

"B-but _John_…"

"Now, _look_!" John said, raising his voice. "I've already said from the very start that I'm not signing that thing and I'm sticking to it. So do me a big favor and _Leave-Me-Alone_!" John spelled out the last three words.

"All right. All right. Fine." Said Benjamin defeated. "If you don't want to sign the constitution. Fine. We'll just leave. Come men! We're not wanted here. Let's just go ask someone who _cares_!" and with that, the three turned away and began walking slowly to the door. John sighed with relief and plopped his head down. All seemed to end when suddenly, The three started to hum 'Nobody knows the trouble I've seen' sadly. John looked up a little bit, humphed, and put his head back down. The trio noticed this and hummed louder. Ben hammed it up by having his eyes water.

"It isn't _working_!" John said. The trio looked back and saw it wasn't so they hummed even louder. It soon got to the point where John couldn't take it anymore, _"All Right! _Give me the constitution! Just give it to me!" When they heard that, the three happily rushed back and gave him the parchment and pen. What he did was throw the pen over his shoulder and began to rip the constitution up into little pieces, Blowing the pieces into the others faces.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (Takes a Breath) OOOOOOOOHHH?!" Was their sounded like little Children doing that,though.

" 'OOOOOOOOH' what?" John asked, knowing full well what they meant.

"Mr. Jefferson is going to be quite angry at you when he finds out you- ooooohhh?!" Roger said.

"You will regret _that_ one, my man." Benjamin added.

"So? _let_ him get mad! At least _now_ none of us has to be bothered by that stupid piece of paper!" John triumphantly said. He then went away laughing, leaving the other three shocked.

"Ooh! Ooh! Let's go tell Thomas now!" Robert said, bursting to tell _someone_.

"Now now. We mustn't be such tattletales." Benjamin said. They all stood there trying to fight it but they couldn't hold it in. They ran to tell the man who took a long while to write it.

Boy, Is Mr. Adams in deep _Trouble_! Or Doody to those who doesn't mind using that sort of language. Hey, everyone. Say it with me: Doody! Did you repeat after me? Good. Now it's time for the spankings!

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Hai! Desu ne! So, how _was_ it? Hopefully, I won't have any trouble with this seeing as I am sticking to the rules. Che. Anyway, I would like to hear what you think of it so send me some reviews, please. Oh, and make sure you tell me what you would like in the "Request chapter". Remember, It depends on what I know. If I get more than one Requests, I'll do one and hold the other one for the next one. Well, untill then…JA NE!

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NOTES:

-This was the first chapter The Author has written for the story. It was filmed in late December of 2006 and finally aired on 5-6-07.

-This episode is based on a Manuscript of the same name, written somewhere in late 2003. Some material has been altered.

TRIVA:

-These notes are based on what and Neo Namco does. Read his stories.

-This Fanfiction was uploaded in several attempts, only to be told by the network that it doesn't allow script format. One alternate version was that The Author had a big book given to him by Ron Burgundy. That version is lost as of now.

-So far, the Author has written one Request Chapter. Way to go!


	2. Pokemon 2morrow!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever

Hello again , Folks, and welcome to the second chapter of this story. As always, Reviews are welcome and I do not own any of the characters except the ones I made up. Now, in this chapter, we have…(The cast of Pokémon suddenly pop up in the background and starts waving)…That's right. Pokémon! Enjoy the chapter!

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o( Chapter 2: Pokemon 2morrow!)o

Satoshi-Tachi were sitting on rocks under a shady tree. It was a practically hot day that day and they were bored. Really bored. Really really bored. Absolutely bored. Yep, Super-duper bored. Super-duper-dee-super-dee-

"Um, they get the point already!" Misty shot her head up and shouted to the narrator.

Ash sighed. "He's right, Misty. We _are_really bored. Absolutely bored. Super bored. Super duper dee super dee-"

"Now look! Don't start _that_ again, Ash!" Misty said. All three sighed while having their heads in their hands.

"So, what do you want to do?" Brock asked.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Ash replied.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Misty replied.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Brock replied.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Ash replied.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Misty replied.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna do?" Brock replied.

"I dunno, Whaddya wanna do?" Ash replied.

"Ok, and just _how_ many times are we gonna do that?" Misty said, growing increasingly annoyed and sensing a pattern.

"I dunno. Whaddya wanna-" Brock starter to say absent-mindly.

"Stop! Stop! Just stop it! I- I can't take it anymore!" Misty said, letting it get to her. She was just _this_ closing in pulling out that mallet...

"Tch!" Ash said, making an annoyed sound. "Neither can I." He let out a yawn. "I'm so bored, I would care less if Team Rocket were to show up…" Then, like clockwork…

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!" The three stood up, more annoyed then scared.

"And I spoke too soon." Ash muttered.

Our familiar Blue haired villain jumped out of a Trash can to recite the first line of the infamous motto…Blue haired…? "To protect the world from Devastation,"

His Red haired companion jumped from a thorny bush…Red haired companion?…Thorny bush…? "Ouch! Uh…To unite all people within our nation,"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love," Blue said while posing.

"To extend our reach to the stars above," Red said while also striking a pose.

"Jessie!" Said James.

"James!" Said Jessie.

"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

The blue blob, Wobbuffet, popped up in front of them and said in Meowth's voice "Meowth! That's right!" The cat Pokémon somehow was able to lift Wobbuffet and say "Woooobbuffet!" in the latter's voice. Ash and his friends looked at each other like "What the heck?"

"Hmmm…" Ash said shaking his head , "That particular one there sounded…weird in a way."

"Well, we talked it over and decided. Let's switch our lines!" James said with a big cheeky grin. No one said anything but stare at him, for the sake of awkwardness.

"Yeah, but why did I have to come out of a thorny bush? I mean, a _regular_ Bush is Ok but…" Jessie complained while picking a thorn out of her arm.

"Here, let me help you." James gently offered. He went over to Jessie and helped picked the sharp thorns out of her fair, soft skin. Her curved body jerked as she winced from the pain. But it was ok as long as James and his soft hands- Hey, wait a minute. This isn't a Rocketshipper fic I'm writing here!

"Yeah, and what curved body?" Ash said under his breath. Jessie, unfortunately heard him.

"Boy, shut yo-" Jessie started to say when Brock spoke up.

"Well, if anything, I prefer the old version better."

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Ash asked. The Team Rocket members stood there for a moment before saying "We're bored!" in a bored tone. Wobbuffet popped up before saying it's name in it's own voice.

Misty came up with an idea. "Hey, I know! Let's try walking to a random location. We're _bound_ to find something there."

"Ok!" Everyone agreed. _So_ they started walking and walking and walking and walking walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and- ("Grrr…" They all said annoyed.) Uh, Sorry. Anyway, As they were walking, Ash accidentally stepped a foot that was sticking out of a bush on the side of the path.

"Ouch!" Said the owner of the foot as they pulled it back into the bush. Ash jumped back.

"Woah! Who was that?!" He exclaimed. The bush rattled and John Adams comes up.

"Would you watch where you're stepping, please?" John said amid gasps.

"John Adams?!" Misty gasped.

"Well? Here we are. We've found something _quite_interesting." Brock mused then looked at the figure that was supposed to be in the 1770's. "B- But, I mean…I thought, you know…In the history books they say that you were de-"

"Yes, yes. _Everyone's_ saying that." John cut in.

"Well, what are you doing here?" Jessie asked.

"I had to end up running away from the independance hall because Thomas Jefferson and the other men there are after me for ripping up the constitution." John explained.

"Wow." Said Ash under his breath.

"Ohmigosh! I've just realized! Since that happened, _We_can steal anything without feeling guilty!" Meowth said while the other two lit up.

"Um, I didn't rip up The Ten Commandments, though. If that's what you're thinking." John quickly said before people went crazy, and stores were looted one in nothing.

'D'oh!" All Three Rocket Members said in unison.

"Why'd you rip it up, Mr. Adams?" Ash asked.

'Well, Because they kept trying to get me to sign it. I'm sorry but when I get mad, I tend to do rash things." John replied.

"Wow. What do you think Mr. Jefferson will do to you?" Asked Brock, not sure if he meant Thomas Jefferson or _George_ Jefferson. John shivered at the thought.

"Whew. I don't know and I don't think I even _want_ to know but-" He was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps coming their way. He quickly jumped back into the bush.

"But, it looks like you're about to find out!" Meowth jeered, finishing the sentence. Another bush rustled and a stocky man steps out. He appeared to be dressed in clothes from the same period John is from.

"He's in here! John's in here!" Jessie and James shouted while pointing to the Bush.

"Who? Johnny Tremain?" The man asked.

"No. John Adams." James replied.

"I'm not looking for any John Adams." The man said.

"Well, aren't you Thomas Jefferson?" Jessie asked. The man Chuckled.

"No, no. I'm Johnathan Lyte." The man replied.

"Hey, isn't he from a Book I've read once?" Brock asked to himself.

"It seems I've gotten lost while going to Chapter 3. I'm supposed to be going over to my friend Roy's house to get my boots shined." Lyte lifted his leg some to show that his Boot was dusty and had no shine to it.

"Um…I think It's that way." Ash said while pointing in a direction.

"All right, Thank you, my good lad." Lyte said and walked off.

"You're welcome!" Ash called after him.

"Can I come out now?" Came John's muffled voice from the Bush.

"Yeah." Misty replied. John emerged from the bush, brushing a few leaves off of his head.

"Man, Team Rocket!?" Brock said angrily. "Why you gotta go be a tattletale?! You almost got Mr. Adams in trouble!"

"Yeah!" Ash backed his friend up. "You want him to be killed?!"

"…Yes?" was the reply.

"What?!" John said in shock.

"Well, you _did_ rip up the constitution." James said.

"Yeah, so I t'ink he should be punished." Meowth said and with that, they started to advance towards John. Misty quickly blocked their path.

"Wait. Since when did _you_ care about the law?" she said.

"Well…" they started to say.

"And didn't you hear what he had said earlier? He was frustrated, that's all. I mean, _I _might've done something like that if I was hassled just enough." Ash took this time to jump in front of her.

"Oh yeah, she _would_! _Man_, I should know. I had this huge set of Boston Legal picture guides, and you know? Maaaan, when I came home that day and saw those scraps in the shredder like that-" Ash bragged.

"And _now_ is a perfect example!" Said Misty annoyed. She went ahead and took out her famed giant mallet and made to hit Ash on the head.

"Oh, no you don't!" Ash said. He did this wierd dance and _somehow_ managed to swap his self with John and…well...guess who took the hit?

"OW!" Yelled John as the wooden end collided with his dome. He fell to the ground and stayed there for a while, making everyone even Team Rocket worried. He got up and started rubbing his head, much to the relief of everyone. "Wow. You looked kind of scrawny yet you pack a wallop." John told Misty.

"What? Well, you know, I didn't mean to do that but if you wanna talk about me then...well...you've just saved me the trouble for later." Misty said.

"Ha ha!" James teased.

"Yeah, that's what you get for ripping up the Constitution." Jessie jeered.

"Come on, guys. Leave him alone." Brock said.

"Oh, Mr. Adams. Are you ok?" Asked Misty concerned.

"Well, It's just a little headache. It's still good. It's still good." John surprisingly quoted.

"Again, I'm so, so, _so_ sorry! I don't know how it happened but I meant to hit _Ash and _I still plan to do that!" Misty said while glaring at Ash, who stuck out his tongue at her. The bush rustled again as John jumped back into _his_. Mr. Lyte came out. 'Hello, Mr. Lyte. What brings you back here?" Misty asked.

"I'm sorry but the direction you pointed out to me was the wrong way." Lyte stated to Ash.

"Huh? Where did you end up?" He asked.

"Well, I ended in this strange Forest where there were lots of Fireflys. I went further in and that's when I heard some type of Flute being played. And I know, Roy's house isn't in a forest." Lyte explained.

"Ok, so I don't know where his house is." Ash admitted.

"I can shine your boots for you, Mr. Lyte." Jessie offered while taking out a rag.

"Um…Jessie. _No_ one wants their Boots shined with spit." James said.

"Well, it's not like _you're _an expert at shining boots, James." Jessie said insulted. She turned to Mr. Lyte. "Man, you should've _seen_ what he did to my boots when he called himself shining them with _Bleach_! And after Ichigo left, He called himself getting some Clorox. James had got them really messed _up_! I had to go get a new pair and they're _not_ cheap! I wanted to get the ones with the leather on them but _that_ stuff cost, like, $150 Dollars. So, I just got these." She then pointed to the ones she had on.

"Why didn't you go to "Discount Boots"? They have 'em for only $8 Dollars." Meowth said.

"I'm not a Discount woman, Meowth." Jessie said.

"Oh? Then where did you get your uniform?" Meowth joked.

"Very funny." Jessie said sarcastically.

"My father always wore Wellington Boots. He ordered them over the phone." James said with a hint of nostalgia.

"Um, if you're finished talking about 'Wellies', can we help Mr. Lyte find his way now?" Ash said. He faced Mr. Lyte. "How about I come along so you won't get lost again?" Ash offered.

"Well…That's really nice of you…uh…what is your name?" Lyte asked.

"Ash. Ash Ketchem, sir" Ash said.

"Oh, well, that's very nice of you, Mr. Ketchem. Thank you." Lyte said.

"You're welcome. And Brock, watch Misty and Team Rocket for me while I'm gone." And with that, they both went into the Bush.

"Man, I am not about to babysit these people. I already have my Brothers and Sisters for that." Brock complained. He turned to the hiding Bush. "Ok, Mr. Adams. You can come out now." John came out of the bush.

"I would just like to say Thank you for letting me hide here from Jefferson." John said Gratefully.

"Oh, you're welcome. I'm just helping a fellow out." Brock said while blushing.

"You know…I _do_ kind of feel sort of guilty for ripping up the constitution…I mean, after all. The man has worked _hard_ on it-"

"John Adams! Is that you I hear talking?" Came a voice from the distance.

"Uh-oh! I've got to go." Whispered John.

"Ok. Nice meeting you, Mr. Adams." Whispered Brock.

"Take care." Whispered Misty.

"Bye, Mr. John Adams!" Team Rocket said as loud as possible. John shook his fist at them while darting off.

"Man, I'm telling you three. If _ya'll_ get Mr. Adams into trouble, you'll have to answer to me." Brock said.

"And me!" Misty said, stepping to the side of Brock.

"And _me_!" Said a little blue green dinosaur that had popped up beside them. He looked around at everyone staring at him. "Oh. I'm sorry. I thought that this was the…theme song." Rexy then went back down as Thomas Jefferson came out of another bush.

"I thought I just heard Adams talking. Was he just here?" Thomas asked.

"Oh yeah. He sure was." James tattled.

"Yep! Ya just _missed_him." Meowth added.

"Is that so? Which way did he go?" Thomas demanded.

"He went-" Jessie started before Brock jumped in front of her.

"Why are you looking for him? Did he do anything?" He asked.

"Well. If you must know, earlier today Mr. Livingston, Mr. Sherman, and Mr. Franklin had informed me that Mr. Adams had ripped up the constitution. Now I'll have to start on it all over again and let me tell you, It took a little over a week for to finish it last time." Thomas complained. Misty winced in mock pain.

"Ow. He _actually _did that?! That was a mean thing to do...that thing!" Misty said, making that sentence sound quite rehearsed.

"But I thought you knew it all along, Misty." Brock whispered into Misty's ear.

"I know. Just playing along." Misty whispered.

"Uh, Yeah! That was really stupid!" Brock said in the same tone of voice. One could almost hear Thomas slapping himself upside the head in his mind.

"Now, where did he go again, young lady?" Thomas asked Jessie, who pointed the way John went. "Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"Mr. Jefferson, would you like your Boots shined?" Brock cut in.

"Good plan." Misty whispered. "Let's stall him." Thomas looked down at his feet.

"Well, I haven't have had them shined in a while." He said while contemplating.

"Well, it turns out that this young lady here is an expert at Boot shining." Brock said while indicating Jessie.

"I am?…uh…I am! Yeah. Ok." A chair suddenly appeared out of no where and Jefferson sat in it. He put his foot on an out of nowhere box. Jessie came up with the rag from before and spat on his boot. Thomas looked Disgusted as Jessie started to rub the rag on the boot.

"How…Resourceful." Jefferson said awkwardly.

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How long can Jessie stall Thomas Jefferson? Will Ash get Mr. Lyte to Roy's house? Will Roy use spit to shine Mr. Lyte's Boots? Will Thomas Jefferson catch John Adams? Will HE have to write it over again? Will John SIGN it? Is Milk White? Is the Sun Yellow? All these questions and MORE answered in the next EXCITING (coughnotreallycough) chapter!

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Hai! A second Chapter in the belt. This is probably the longest chapter I've ever written. 8 Pages?! Wow. I think I know what other Fanfiction writers have to go through to type these. This took a little over a few hours but it's finished.

I will also start a little feature at the end of every chapter where I tell which Characters from which so I won't get into trouble. Here are the guest stars in this chapter:

Pokémon cast – Pokémon

Mr. Lyte – Johnny Tremain

1776 people – History and the Movie/Play

Rexy – A PBS Kids show called Calliou

Well that's it. I don't not own any of the above that I've just mentioned. I also hope I don't get flames for that Ten commandments bit. I honestly don't think It's so bad a joke…yeahsoanyway, If you want your idea for a request chapter shown, please send them to me in your reviews. 'till then? Sayonara and Farewell! (Leaves.)

(Runs back in) Oh yeah. Happy New Years 2007 Minna! (Blows Party favor)

(Probably won't be by the time I post this stuff up, though…)

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NOTES:

-The above feature will be discontinued in favor of the Notes and Trivia section.

-This episode was in production on December 31, 2006. It didn't air until May of 2007.

-The New Years wrap party the cast and crew threw was "Out of control", "Crazy", and "Traumatizing", according to some reports.

TRIVIA:

-Several scenes had to be omitted for time. One involved Brock musing over the fact that "You can't rip up the Ten Commandments since it's made of stone."

-The "Whaddya wanna do" scene was a take on a scene from the PBS show "Arthur".

-The episode's name is a play on of the Pokemon movie title, "Pokemon 4ever".


	3. What's in a name!

The Completely Pointless  
Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello again everyone! Here we are at the _Third_ chapter. Sorry about the long ol' absence. Before we began, I just want to point out that this is sponsored by:

(We see a burger just sitting there) Big Mac's mystery Burgers. It isn't Ham. It isn't a Burger. Then what the heck IS it?

(We see people lying on a beach towel) Dryyoff's famous Towels. Drys you off so good, there's nothin' left. And by…

(We see a whole world of People) Viewers like _you_!!!

Well, Now that _that's_ said and done, let's ago!

Mario: (Comes in amid Cheers from the audience) Wait a minute!

Mario!?

Mario: That's-a right! Now if you want to say it like I do, repeat after me-a. Let's a-go!

Let's ago.

Mario: No. Let's a_-GO_!

Let's ago.

Mario: Stop-a that. I know you can say it.

Ok. Let's a_-GO_!

Mario: That's-a it!

Thank you. Mario everybody!

Mario: (Leaves amid applause and cheers)

And now, Let's a_-_GO! Dontownnothing…

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(-O: Chapter 3: What's in a name?!:O-)

Before we travel back to the Hall, let's first see how Ash and Mr. Lyte are doing. It took them a little while but they finally reached the Two-story Brownstone house. Roy, the owner of the house, had decided to take a little trip from Altea and rent the lovely house that was somewhere in a lush pennin countryside. He knew Ash and Mr. Lyte for some time and was glad to be closer to them. He would shine Lyte's boots whenever he would come over. Anyroad, They both made their way up the porch to ring the Doorbell. Inside, Roy was setting out various Boot and Shoe polishes. When it comes to shining things, Roy was an expert. Be it Armor, Boots, or brass. The Doorbell rang and Roy went to answer it.

"Ah! Ash! Mr. Lyte! Welcome!" Roy said.

"Hello, Roy. It's nice to see you." Lyte said as he shook hands with him. "It took quite a while but I'm finally here."

"Oh. Are you here to have your Boots shined?" Roy asked.

"Oh, yes. As you can see, they've _really_ lost their luster." Lyte said as he indicated his Boots dustiness.

"All right then? Step this way." Roy said as he led him in the living room. He then turned to Ash. "Hello, Ash."

"Hi, Roy. So…How are you adapting to the country?" Ash asked curious. He knew Roy was a city Boy.

"Well, I've always wanted to see what it would be like to live in the country. It's not so bad actually. I've made lots of new friends here. Occasionally, I would relax on the Hills with three good fellows I've met. And, as you can see, I've traded my armor for these clothes." He showed Ash the country clothes he had on. "Can you believe these are more comfortable then that armor?" He and Ash had a laugh.

"Well, that's nice. It is really nice around here. I've also noticed that you are speaking really good English." Ash said.

"Thank you. You may not know this but I've studied a lot of English over the time. I used to speak just Engrish, you know. But look at me now. I'm speaking like I was actually born here." They laughed again.

"Well, it was nice talking to you but I gotta go now. I gotta go check on Pikachu." Ash said.

"Alright. Talk to you later." Roy said. He waved, closed the Door, and made his way into the living room. Mr. Lyte was reading the latest Times while waiting for him. "Ok. Let's get started!" Roy said cheerfully. Lyte put the paper down.

"Finally. I'll be able to see my face." Lyte started to put his foot out as Roy got a jar of polish and a rag.

"I'll need one of your Boots." Roy said.

"Why?" Mr. Lyte asked perplexed.

"Well, I thought since you kept moving your feet a lot when I'm trying to shine them, this would be a solution." Roy said.

"Oh, Roy. Let me keep them on. I hate having my foot cold." Lyte pleaded. "I'll be careful."

Roy thought about it. "Alright." He went to Lyte with the Jar of Polish and the rag and set a box underneath the boot. He dipped the rag into the jar and rubbed the "Insta-shine: Shine in a jar" on it. It went smoothly until Mr. Lyte started having a conversation, which tends to have him move his feet absentmindedly. When he almost knocked over the Jar, Roy gave him a look.

"Very well." Lyte sighed. He took off the half-shined boot and gave it to Roy. He sat it on a table, dipped the rag again and started to polish it..really slowly. Lyte wanted to avoid this. "Oh Brother. Here we go again…" He sighed as would have a cold foot and a long stay ahead of him.

Back at the bushes, Jessie was still, unbeknownst to her, stalling Thomas Jefferson. She was still on the first Boot, which she spat on again for more moisture.

"Is it _really _that necessary for you to spit on my boot like that?" Thomas asked annoyed.

"Of course, if you want it to shine." Jessie replied while shining the boot. Misty and Brock secretly gave each other a thumbs up while James and Meowth were playing a video game of some sort.

"Well, don't you think it's shined enough?" Thomas said.

"I just want everything perfect for you since you're a President of The United States." Jessie said rubbing the toe of the boot. Thomas sat back and crossed his arms.

"Oh really?" He muttered under his breath.

At the Independence hall, John ran in and slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it. He then whet to a chair and plopped down, trying to catch his breath. He had made a narrow escape. However, he realized that he had not got away from everyone when he saw Livingston, Franklin, and Sherman approach him.

"Oh gosh…" John said very tiredly.

"We've already told Mr. Jeff-" Benjamin started to say but John cut him off.

"I know! I can't believe you would just contradict yourselves after saying you weren't tattletales. _Benjamin_!" John said the last word with emphasis while glaring at Benjamin.

"What?" Said Benjamin perplexed.

"Oh come on!" John said annoyed. He began to mock Benjamin's voice. "Didn't you say 'Now, Now. We mustn't be such tattletales.'?"

"Yes, but-" Ben started to say.

"Are you just _trying_ to get me killed?!" John yelled. Ben just chuckled.

"What? No. No, John. But you see-"

"And did you set this up to get me to rip up the Constitution?" John added angrily.

"Now _wait_ just a minute!" Ben said angrily (A/N: Yeah. I'ma start using their abbreviated names now.), "You know I would NEVER do anything like that! What makes you-" John turned to Robert before letting Ben finish.

"Did you know he was setting me up?" He asked.

"_Hey!_" Exclaimed Ben angrily.

"Didn't he just say that he wasn't trying to set you up on anything?" Robert said, defending his friend.

"Aren't I the one that is asking the questions here?" Said Jhon having fun with his interrogation. He suddenly stopped. "Um…You've misspelled my name."

"What? What are you talking about? I didn't-" Robert started to protest.

"No. No. Not you. This...person." Jhon said. "And he _still_ hasn't spelled it right." A disembodied voice suddenly came out of nowhere, scaring Roger, who hasn't said anything in a while.

"Hello, hello. What's going on?" It asked, seemingly oblivious to what was going on.

"Um, yes. Your finger must've slipped or something because you've misspelled my name." Jhon explained.

"Oh, I haven't?" The voice asked.

"No, you haven't." Jhon replied impatiently, "You see, It's J-O-H-N. Not J-H-O-N…" Jhon looked over at his name to see if he had drove his point home only to be disappointed. "You persistent…Spell it correctly!"

"Alright. All right. I'll spell it right." The voice said while snickering.

"Thank yo-" Jhon looked at his name. "Hey! Will you stop that?!" He heard Ben, Roger, and Robert over there laughing really hard. "What are _you_ laughing at?" Jhon demanded.

"Ha ha. You!" Ben said absentmindedly, earning nudges from the other two.

"Now then…" Jhon looked at his name, looked at where he thought the voice was coming from, went to the table, picked up a book that was on it and threw it at the voice. The Voice somehow caught it.

"Hey. Don't be throwing Books at me!" The Voice said.

"Well, then stop misspelling my name!" John said. He hopefully looked at his name and smiled. "_Thank_ you. I'm glad you understand." He said gladly.

"Oh, good. Now that _that's_ over, let's-" Been started to say when John whispered in his ear. Been looked up to see that his name was misspelled. "Heeeey." He whined. "And you've spelled it wrong _two_ times at once. What you should do is drop one of the 'E's in the future, please." He said patiently.

"Ok…Been." The voice giggled.

"No. See, it's spelled B-E-N, Not B-E-E-N." Been explained, doing what John did and giving the voice a spelling lesson. He looked over at his name again. "Now what did I just say?" He demanded.

"You said to spell your name B-E-E-N not B-E-N." The voice found this amusing and laughed again. Been grew annoyed.

"Look. I wish you would stop that. Now, repeat after me. B-E-N. Ben." He tried desperately.

"Ok. B-E-E-N. Been." The voice spelled. Ben just had it. He leaped up and held up the cane he carried around and was about to hit the voice, if that was possible.

"Look. I spelled your named right just now." The voice said. Been stopped and looked.

"Oh. So you did. But you didn't spell it right _that _time." Ben raised his cane again.

"So go ahead and hit me but if you do, I'll drop you from the story." The voice said. Ben lowered his cane again and smiled that the author had _finally_ spelled his name correctly.

"Thank you very much." He said.

"You're welcome, Been…" The voice persisted. Been raised his cane yet again. "BEN!" The voice corrected. He put it down.

"_Now_! As I was saying." John said, trying to get back to the point. "Why did you goad me into ripping up the constitution? _Robert_!

"I believe you were talking to Roger." Robert tried.

"No. I was talking to _you._ _Well_, Robert?" John demanded.

"I didn't make you do anything. You tore up that constitution on your own free will." Robert protested.

"Yes, you did. And now you're blaming it on US!" Rodger added.

"We were only trying to get you to sign it." Ben said.

"Um, Roger. Sorry to interrupt but he has just misspelled _your _name." John said. Rodger looked up at his name then at the Voice with these puppy eyes.

"Awwwww." Said the others with sympathy.

"Ok, Ok. I'll stop spelling your name wrong. Just don't do those puppy eyes again. They get me every time." The voice said. Roger smiled at his victory.

"Well, now! Why didn't _we_ think of that?!" Jhon and Been said together. Roger and Robert started to laugh. Jhon and Been looked up and sighed.

"Man. I see he is giving us such a hard time!" Robart said. He happened to see his name. "Please. Let's not start that again. Ok?" He pleaded.

"Ok, Robart." The voice said. Robart stomped his foot.

"I said don't start that again!" Robart looked at his name again. "Oh brother…" He sighed.

"Well! I certainly must say…" Rodger said.

"Um…Roger, I don't think you should see your name at the moment." Ben said. Rodger looked at his name again and then at the Voice with those puppy eyes again.

"Awwwww." Everyone said again.

"Alright. I get it. I'll stop spelling your name wrong. Just stop with the eyes already." The voice pleaded. Roger smiled again

"Would you stop spelling _all_ of our names wrong?" John asked, half begging.

"Mmmmmaybe." The voice said. John turned to Been.

"Probably not because as you can see, he's just misspelled your name again." John explained. Been glanced up at the name then angrily at the voice.

"Now listen here," Been started, "If you don't stop spelling my name incorrectly right this minute, I think I'll have to…I'll have to…I'll have to cry!" As Been finished that sentence, the others cringed.

"Oh, yes! He'll do it." Robert played along, "He really will."

"I'm still scarred from last time." Roger said quietly.

"Yes, they're absolutely right. I _will _just bawl my eyes ou-" Been stopped to see his name. He sighed. "Well, here's goes. I warned you." Been then screwed up his face trying to force tears out but nothing happened. "Oh, forget it." Been gave up.

"Now, if we can go back to our _main_ concern," John said "Let's talk about why _Robert_ made me tear up the paper." John glared at said person.

"Now you know as well as I do that _that_ is an outrageous lie!" Robert shouted.

"You tell him, Robart." Ben said jokingly then started to laugh.

"Now, will you cut that out!?" Robert shouted.

"_Now_! As I was saying _again_…" John started but was interrupted once again by Thomas Jefferson bursting through the door and leaning on it, panting heavily. One of his boots was shined and the other one was not.

"Well, it's about _time_ you've arrived." Ben said.

"Sorry about that. I was…held up." Thomas said.

"Um…Mr. Jefferson? What has happened to your boots?" Roger noticed. Thomas looked down.

"Oh, that. Well, while I was out searching for Adams, I came across this strange group of people. One of them had a large fixation to hair gel because her red hair was…_large_!" Thomas spread his arms out really wide to show how long it was. "Anyway, she had asked if I had wanted my boots shined. I said 'yes' and she shined them. With Saliva." He finished amid disgusted groans. "So, while her back was turned, I had slipped away as fast as I could." Tomas wiped sweat off of his forehead.

"Um…" Roger started. "That may not be the least of your troubles."

"What do you mean?" Tomas asked.

"Well…for starters, Your name is spelled wrong." Ben finished disgusted. Tomas looked up at his name.

"Well! And what's _this_?" He exclaimed.

"You see, Mr. Jefferson," Robet explained. "This..._voice_ has this _very_ annoying habit of spelling our names wrong. Just as he has done now to mine." Robet said after looking at his name.

"Oh…well. Excuse me," Tomas said while looking at his name, "That's not how my name is spelled."

"Oh, it isn't?" The voice sarcastically droned.

"No." Tomas simply replied. He then glanced at his name again. "Um…Alright. Just…just put the 'h' back there and we're finished."

"Oh…ok." The voice said.

"Thank you…" Jeffursun said before seeing his mangled surname. "O…k… Now, change that _first_ 'u' into an 'E' and the second one into an 'o', all right?" He tried to stay as patiently as possible.

"Look, dude." The voice started. "I already _know_ how to your name."

"Then _why_ aren't you spelling it right?" Tomas Jeffursun asked angrily. He looked over at his name. "And yet, you are still doing it."

"Oh, no I'm not." The voice said.

"Yes, you are." He looked at his name again. "Just like you are doing now!"

"You know, you should have been here earlier." Been stated "You should've _seen_ what hard time he gave us all and John." Been looked at his name. "Especially me…"

"Wait." Thomas said, "Adams was here?"

"Well, yes." Roger answered. "As a matter of fact, he's right over-" He turned to find that John was no longer beside him. "Well…He _was_ right over there."

"Must have went out the back way." Robert muttered.

"Hmmm. Well. Guess I'll have to go out and search for him some more." Thomas stated. He headed for the front door.

"Um…But before you leave…" Ben said, pointing to Thomas' boots. "You might want to do something about your two toned boots."

"Oh…" Thomas said, looking down. "I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me." And he went to shine his boots.

"Well, looks like it's about that time to wrap up this story." The voice said. Instantly, you could actually feel the elation in the room when that sentence was said.

"Oh, well. Good bye. Have a splendid day." Ben said, showing his feelings a little to much.

"Now come on," Rodger said. "There's no need to rush him out."

"Well, would _you_ want him to stay after he's just misspelled your name?" Ben asked him. Rodger looked at his name then at the voice with those "you-know-whats".

"Ok, Ok!" The voice shouted. Roger smiled. "Well, I guess I'll depart then. See you guys later."

"Good bye." The two men said. After waiting a while, a jig was started. They didn't know that this was only the very beginning.

Heee! That took _quite_ a while to finish. Don't worry, this'll be posted up for all of you to see soon enough…. Oh, wait. You're reading it right now. Oh well, send in those requests and reviews. I'll be back shortly.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production in early 2007. It aired in later that year.

-This was a fun episode to write and even funnier during the readthroughs.

TRIVIA:

-Some scenes were omitted for time. Pictures of these scenes have surfaced onto the internet and a group of people have even set out to find them.

-Puppy dog eyes are evil! EVIL! Just kidding. There are really cute.


	4. Gaiden 1: Hangin' with the Weasleys!

The Completely Pointless,  
Plotless Fanfiction ever!

Hello again folks. To celebrate the Month of July 2007 as "Harry Potter" month, I shall be writing a side chapter about everyone's favourite wizard. Enjoy. You know the Disclaimer.

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(-o Gaiden Chapter 1: Hangin' with the Weasleys!! o-)

It was a typical morning at the Weasley household. Well, actually, it was very early in the morning and that's hardly typical. Anyway, they had just finished breakfast and had put on their best Muggle clothing. The Weasley's set out to meet up with Amos Diggory and his son Cedric. At one point, Mr. Weasley had slipped on an embankment and landed in a pile of mud.

"Gosh Darn it!" Arthur exclaimed.

"What's the matter?" Ron asked his father, knowing full well what it was.

"What on earth?" Arthur exclaimed as he stood up with the outfit he would normally wear to the ministry caked in mud.

"Dad. What are you doing in your robes?!" George asked surprised.

"That's what I want to know." Mr. Weasley wondered as he climbed up the embankment. "Oh my gosh…" He muttered disgustedly to himself. "How did this happen?"

"We don't know." Harry said. Then, just as soon as it happened, Mr. Weasley's clothes changed back to their original state.

"Oh, well. We can go now." Mr. Weasley said cheerfully. So, they carried on and they soon met Amos and his son. As they were traveling towards the Portkey, Amos noticed something.

"Hey. My clothes." Amos said, looking over his wizard robes. "What's going on? What's this?"

"What _is_ going on?" Mr. Weasley wondered out loud.

"Daaaaad!" Ron suddenly whined. Everyone turned to see him decked in a Ballerina outfit complete with wand and tiara. Almost immediately, a chorus of laughter erupted. Ron wondered where they found his Costume. Oh please. Don't tell me none of _you_ go out to secret Ballet lessons…not that I do…Anyway, thing went back to normal until…

"What is this?!" Hermione suddenly shouted. Everyone turned to see her in a Goth outfit. "Actually, this is kind of cool." She started to flip her hair out of her eyes and looked bored. Her other outfit appeared again. "Oh well." She said as they went on to the Portkey. Lots of things happened including Harry turning into Malfoy and Snape. Suddenly, Amos tripped.

"Are you ok, Dad?" Cedric asked his father as he helped him up.

"Yes. I just tripped over…my robes." Amos said, looking at his once again appeared robes.

"Alright, cut it out!" Arthur shouted out to no one in particular. They cautiously went on, this time their wands out. When Arthur's suddenly spouted spiders, they then started to run up to the Portkey so as to avoid any more incidents. They finally made it to an old boot. Just as they were about to reach it…it disappears. There was silence until Mr. Weasley started sniffling. He then let out a full-fledged sob. Then, Harry followed then Ron then Hermione until the whole group was just standing there bawling their eyes out.

Some time had passed. Everyone was sitting in a circle crying about their lost hopes.

"I'll never see Molly again!" Cried Arthur while looking at a picture of his wife.

"He took my teddy bear!" Ron screamed.

"I want to meet Inspector Dryfuss!" Hermione randomly yelled. Amos was comforting his sobbing son in his arms, trying not to cry himself. This went on until the boot came back. Everyone instantly stopped and they grabbed onto it and they teleported out of there. A single boot was left lying there. A hand came out of nowhere, picked it up and went back to where ever the hand came from.

How was that? Pointless? Plotless? Good. Let me know what you thought. To be honest, I'm up writing this at some 5am. Let hope that I can finish writing this before I fall aslee-

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production sometime around the release of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix".

-This episode originally aired in July of 2007.

-This is the first Gaiden (Side story) Chapter written.

TRIVIA:

-The Author was fortunate to view the movie the day it was released. Says he "It was fantastic!". Says his cousin who took him, "Words can not be used for what we just saw."


	5. Mr Lyte gives the Boot!

The Completely Pointless,  
Plotless Fanfiction ever!

Hello, hello, hello all and _welcome_ to the 4th installment of this story. You already know about the Disclaimer. Just look at the first Chapter. And now _on_ with the dang story!

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(O-Chapter 4: Mr. Lyte gives the boot-O)

Nearly half an hour had passed at Roy's house as he was still going over Mr. Lyte's right boot with the nearly shiny rag. Mr. Lyte's impatience was growing thin.

"Roooy! Aren't you finished yet?" Mr. Lyte sighed.

"Just a few more minutes, Sir." Roy answered, polishing real slowly.

"But, you've been saying that for the past half hour now." Mr. Lyte said, trying not to snap.

"Just be _patient _please." Roy simply said.

"But I've _have _been long enough!" Mr. Lyte nearly raised his voice.

"Alright, alright. I'm just about finished." Roy said. Mr. Lyte sat back and crossed his arms. And he _thought_ he was a perfectionist.

"Well, hurry up and-" Mr. Lite started before he saw his name. "Uh…Excuse me."

"Well, did someone expel a little gas?" Jeered a voice. Think of, like, a voice over that is talking.

"Um, No, no." Mr. Lite said hastily. "It's just that, that's not how my name is spelled."

"Oh? It isn't?" The voice sarcastically droned.

"Well, no. It isn't." Mr. Lite replied. "See, It's spelled L-y-t-e."

"I already know how it's spelled." The voice said.

"Well, then why do you have it spelled _L-I-T-E_?" Mr. Light asked annoyed. He glanced over to his name. "Now, if you _know_ how to spell my name, then you would spell it _right_. See, that's spelled _wrong._"

"But….I thought we were talking about your name. Not the word wrong." The voice said. Mr. Light rolled his eyes.

"No. We _are_ talking about my name and that's how you spell it." Mr. Light said. He saw his name again. "And yet, it's STILL misspelled."

"Nope. It looks fine to me." The voice simply said.

"No. It's looks wrong." Mr. Light said.

"No, it's not." The Voice said.

"_Yes_, it is!" Mr. Light snapped. "And you know _why_? Because I know how to spell my own name and I can most _certainly _say that's not how it's spelled so…could you _please_ change it back? _Please._" Mr. Light sat back in his chair, panting heavily. Apparently, that little outburst took a little out of him.

"…. Wow…" Was all the Voice could say. "Well…what would you say if _I _had said…that maybe I didn't want to." Mr. Light's face turned a slight tinge.

"Well, maybe _I _should…" Mr. Light was about to start another tirade until Roy, who seemed unfazed by the preceding conversation, looked up.

"Finished." Roy announced. He carefully picked up the Boot and handed it to Mr. Light, who took it and put it on. "Alright, I'll need the other one now." Roy told him. Mr. Light took off his left boot and handed it to him. "Thank you" Roy said as he got to work on the boot. As Mr. Light put on his boot, he looked over at his name.

"You know, that is _really _starting to annoy me. A lot." He told the voice.

"Ya _think_?" The voice said. "Listen. Sorry about that outburst but it really _is_." Mr. Light said. 

"_Is _it, now?" The voice said.

"_Yee_ees! So change my name back. Please." Mr. Light looked at how shiny his boot was.

"No." The voice decided to have fun.

"'_No_'" Mr. Light repeated in Disbelief.

"No." The voice replied simply. Mr. Lite looked over at his name.

"Well, all you have to do now is just change that 'I' into a 'Y'" Mr. Lite said hopefully.

"No." Mr. Light sighed heavily.

"Alright. That does it." Mr. Light said angrily, "If you _don't_ stop insisting on being persistent, then I'm afraid I'll have to summon the constable."

"Two things: 1. I'm deathly allergic to Policemen. And 2. If you even _think_ about doing that, you'll have to find another story." The voice explained.

"How are you allergic to Policemen?" Roy asked, finally after a while.

"Yeah, that's a very interesting story but I don't think you're quite ready for it." The voice explained.

"Fine, but if you don't change my name back then…I'll have to throw something at you!" Mr. Light shouted.

"Well, you don't _have _to and, as a matter of fact, you wouldn't _want_ to." The voice sort of warned.

"Well, you say what you want but _I'm _going to throw something at you." Mr. Light said.

"Are you sure?" The voice asked.

"Yes!" Mr. Light shouted.

"Ok. And just _what_ are you going to throw at me?" The voice demanded.

"Well…" Mr. Light looked around for a projectile. His eyes fell upon an ornate vase. "Ah! This!" He picked it up and was about to hurl it when Roy spoke up, not even looking up.

"Don't you dare." He said. "Unless you don't mind letting go of a few hundred dollars, don't throw it." Mr. Light put it down.

"Yes. Don't throw the vase." The voice jeered.

"Ohhhh…" Mr. Lyte looked around for something else to throw. He then looked at his one Boot and his eyes lit up. He took it off and hurled it at the voice; somehow having it hit it in the arm. "Ha! Take _that_!" He jeered.

"Ow." Said the voice, a little surprised. "Well…so you somehow had the boot hit me in the arm. How fascinating." Mr. Light started to look a little nervous.

"Um...you're not going to drop me from the story, are you?" He asked nervously.

"Oh, no. I'm not. I would but I won't." The voice replied. Mr. Light sighed in relief. "Tell me something, sir. Do you like these boots?"

"Oh, yes. They're my favorite pair." Mr. Light said.

"Oh? Then you wouldn't mind if I…Keep it." The voice said.

"What?" Mr. Light chuckled, "You can't keep my boot."

"Well, it's either this or guest starring in another story." The voice said.

"No. Let me have my Boot back." Mr. Light asked. The voice did nothing but stash it into his bottomless pockets. Mr. Light sighed. "Roy. _Please_ hurry up so I get this…person."

"I'm nearly finished." Roy said, polishing the boot really slowly. This was not helping Mr. Light's bad day any.

"Now you see?" Mr. Light started. "_This _is why I don't come here often because you take so long on a single boot. Perhaps you realize that I sometimes have places to be and I really haven't time to just wait for you to finish. Do you understand, Roy?"

"Huh?" Roy just droned while shining the boot. Mr. Light sighed again and turned towards the Voice.

"Alright, young man. You-" But he was gone. "I don't know _why_ I even bother." Mr. Light felt like he could cry. He had a misspelled name, _two_ cold feet and he was not going anywhere for a while. This was practically one of those days.

And that's another one in the bag. As usual, leave your reviews and requests and I'll do what I can to get back to you.

Some guy: Hey! This is a fanfic, not an outgoing message!

(Throws a Chain Chomp at him) 'till _next_ time, Je ne, minna!

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NOTES:

-This chapter was in production in mid '07. It aired around the same date.

-This is part of Chapter 4 of the manuscript. Some things were moved around.

TRIVIA:

-A scene in which James tries on Mr. Lyte's boot was cut for time.


	6. Of Bars and Boots!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction ever!

Welcome to yet another installment of this story! You know, even though there are a bunch of hits for this story and zero reviews, at least I know there are people who takes time out of their days to read this thing. Well, all and all, I'm just really glad I'm getting this online finally after soooo long. And this is the 5th chapter of a story I've written in 2003. Well, enough idle chat, let's a-go!

Mario: See? There you a-go.

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(O-Chapter 5: Of Bars and Boots! -O)

In the bush area, Brock, Misty, and Team Rocket were basically doing some of everything when Ash came out of a bush.

"Hello, everybody." Ash said cheerfully.

"_Ash!_" Everyone shouted in Unison, much like they do when a certain someone comes into a certain Bar.

"So, Ash. How is Life?" Misty asked, playing along as a blonde haired waitress who works at the Bar.

"Meh. Same ol', Same ol'." Ash replied. Settling down on a tree stump. "Boss chews me out. Nearly literally. He's in the asylum right now."

"Sounds like a day soaked in insanity." Brock, playing the Owner of the Bar, said.

"Yea, and right now, it's time for a Liver soaked in soda." Ash added. Brock poured a grape soda into a glass beer mug and handed it to Ash, who took a great swig out of it.

"Well, in _my_ opinion," Meowth, as a certain mailman, said, "Ieeeer think that you should find yaself another job there."

"Yeah, but not here." Jessie, as a certain cranky waitress, quipped. "This boss will REALLY chew you out and spit you out. Hey! Now we know what you're having for dinner." Everyone then looked at James, hoping he would play a certain dimwitted Bar tender.

"Ok, guys," James started, "I'll hand it to you all. I've never really…cared for the show."

"What?" Everyone said at once.

"Come on, man. _Everyone's_ watched it." Ash said.

"Yeah. Everyone but me." James stated.

"Come on, I'm really surprised. I'm mean, Heck. I cried during 'Final Call'" Jessie said.

"Yeah, and besides, you watch 'Frasier'. He was on there." Misty said.

"True, but I mean, I don't think his character's developed enough. It's like, whenever I watch it, _something _is missing." James explained. I guess watching Frasier a lot before it gives everyone the same impression.

"Duh. 'Frasier' is _after_ it. That must've given them a good chance to put more into his character." Jessie said. "Hey! Did you know that…" She then said some other facts of the show that no one knew about and that I can't print them here or I'll end up with broken legs. Everyone stared at her with wide eyes.

"Wow…So _that's _who was gonna play Martin?" Brock said in awe. "Phew! That was _so _Close. The show would have plummeted right there."

"I know. Man, my heart was pumpin' like crazy when I found that out!" Jessie nearly cried when she found out that the show would've failed after the first episode had they cast that guy for Martin's part.

"Yeah. That _was_ close. I like 'Frasier'." Came a Voice.

"What the heck?" Brock said.

"Who is that?" Jessie asked.

"Oh, just your neighborhood friendly Voice." It replied. "So? What's going on? Playing a game of 'Cheers'?"

"Well, there goes our game of "Guess that show." Ash said.

"Tch. With all the clues we've been giving out?" Brock muttered.

"Um…Not to pry…y'know, 'cause I'm prying but…Is that a boot in your pocket or are you just happy that they're coming out with a name Soul Caliber game?" Ash joked, earning some glares _because _of the joke.

"Not really. 2008's a long ways coming. But yeah." The voice pulled out the boot. "It is a boot."

"Is it yours?" Brock asked.

"No. I had to…'confiscate' it from an unruly individual." The Voice Said.

"Well, what happened?" Jessie said, ready for some gossip.

"Aiight. So _this _what happened." The Voice started. "See, I'm just minding my own business, right? Then, all of a sudden, this _dude_ comes up and so just for saying 'hi', he cusses me _out_ and throw this boot at my arm and nearly broke it."

"Wow. I can _sooo_ relate to that!" Started Jessie. "Once, I kept this guy's _car keys_ cause he, like, scratched me with them. No, what I _did_ was I melted those suckers down on the stove."

"A little extreme, don't you think?" Asked Misty.

"Those things were _rusted_! I could've been infected!" Jessie shrieked.

"Yeah. Anyway, that's what's happened." The voice said. "He'll think twice before do _that_ again."

"Oh, I'd like to _do_ something, alright." Came a voice. Every turned around to see Roy and Mr. Light standing there in the bushes.

"Hi, Roy." Ash called out. Roy waved back.

"Aw. Would you look at _this?_" Mr. Light said in disgust while looking upwards. "He's even spelt it wrong in the _title_!"

"How dare you abuse this dude, man?" Brock asked.

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Light asked.

"He said you cussed him out and then tried to break his arm by throwing a boot at him." Misty piped in.

"What? I can't even _see _him!" Mr. Light said.

"And you have such a weird name. You _must _not belong or _something_." Jessie added.

"Well, this 'weird name' is because of this voice." Mr. Light said.

"Maybe it's time for you to lie down or something." Roy said.

"Nonsense!" Mr. Light said dismissively. "I know what going on. I was trying to have my boots shined when this…voice comes and thinks it's a game to misspell my name!"

"But it _is_ a fun game! You should try it sometime." The voice said.

"Excuse me, sir," Meowth asked Mr. Light "But how it is s'possed to be spelled?"

"No, it isn't!" Mr. Light answered for the Voice. "It's supposed to be _L-Y-T-E._ Not that mangled excuse of a name!"

"Yeah. It's just like what's happened to Misty's name." Ash snickered.

"Huh?" Miss T looked over to her name. "Hey!" She shouted. She then looked over to Ash laughing his Butt off. "Hmmm. I wonder what you would get if we were to replace that 'H' in Ash's name with an 'S'?" Ash stopped laughing to think about it.

"Let's see. It would be…." Ash realized it then. "Hey!"

"Well, just don't mess with _my _name." Brocc said "I like it just the way it is."

"I'm afraid I already have." The voice said. Brocc instantly looked over to his name.

"I said _don't_ mess with my name." Brocc said.

"Alright! Enough stalling!" Mr. Light shouted causing James to nearly wet his pants. "Now, I've come here to get back my boot and my name. Then, I'll leave you all along. So…Mr…Voice. Could I have my things back?" Mr. Light tried to ask this as nice as possible.

"What was that?" The Voice, obviously hearing very well, asked.

"I said, could I have my things back? Please?" Mr. Light smiled.

"Come again? I couldn't hear you."

"I said, Could I have my things back please?" Mr. Light said a little louder.

"Speak up, man!"

"I _said_, could I _please_ have my things back?!" Mr. Light nearly yelled.

"**I SAID COULD I PLEASE HAVE MY THINGS BACK??!!!" **Mr. Lyte roared, Causing James to really wet his pants. Roy nearly lost his hearing since he was next to Mr. Lyte.

"No way, after you were shouting at me like that." The voice blurted out.

"So, you _could_ hear me all the time, eh?" Mr. Lyte said.

"No duh. I doubt I can now." The voice said.

"Well then. It's time for me to do something drastic." Mr. Lyte said. He stood up and flexed his muscles.

"Ooh, I think they gonna fight!" Jessie squealed. Mr. Lyte then came up…and pushed Roy ahead of him.

"Roy. Take care of him." Mr. Lyte told him.

"Um…ok." Roy looked around to see where the voice was.

"What are you doing?" Mr. Lyte demanded

"Looking for the Voice." Came the reply

"You don't look for a voice, stupid! You can't even _see _it!" Mr. Lyte shouted.

"Gee. Listen to the way he talks to you." The voice came from behind Roy, startling him. "I wonder what you see in him?"

"Um…excuse me but Mr. Lyte wants his things back." Roy said sheepishly.

"Oh, he does? Well, you go tell him he shouldn't throw things at people." The Voice replied.

"He threw it at you? How?" Roy stopped to think about it.

"What are you waiting for? Finish him off!" Mr. Lyte shouted from behind the bushes.

"How can you throw something at a voice?" Roy said back.

"Well, he deserved it. He shouldn't mess with people's names. Which reminds me…" Mr. Lyte looked over to his name to see his name has been spelled right. "Wow, I wonder how long that has been?" He wondered out loud.

"Well, thank you for reminding me, Mr. _Light_!" The voice jeered. Mr. Light looked over to his name. This did it.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." With that, he disappeared into the bush.

"Ooh. Usually when he says that, he always come back with a weapon or something." Roy explained.

"Well, _this _is entertaining." Ash said. "Much better then our show." This earned glares from his companions.

"Shh. Ash, do you _want _another beating from "The people"?" Misty hissed.

"Who are "The People"?" James asked.

"I don't know." Jessie replied.

"And you would't want to." Ash added.

"Oh…" James replied.

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Just who _are_ "The People"? What weapon will Mr. Light come back with? Will Harry Potter members pay a visit? All these questions (or some of them) and more answered in the next exciting installment!

Special thanks to Tombola for adding me to their Favorite stories list. As always, please review and I hope you'vie enjoyed the chapter. 'Till then, GAL signs out!

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production in mid 2007. It aired around the same date.

-This episode is part of chapter 4 of the original manuscript.

TRIVIA:

-The "People" plot was added later during production.


	7. Request 1: Have Remote, Will Travel!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfic ever!

Hello, folks! This is the very first request chapter ever! Actually, this will be the first on the site but is actually a second version of it. See, there's a story behind this. I had typed the original chapter up and when I went to check on it, I couldn't bring it up because the disc needed formatting all of a sudden. I could retype it but I want to see if I can recover these files on the floppy disc, first. When I do, I will post it up for all to see. It's quite good and It would be a shame to not let you see that. In the meantime, here's a chapter starring Sonic and Shadow, as requested by InuTaiyoukaiGalofDarkAndLight and Ultimate Female! It will contain a lot of copyrighted materiel and as such, I do not own anything of the sort. Enjoy!

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Oo Request Chapter 1: Have Remote, Will Travel! oO

Sonic and Shadow the Hedgehog sat on the sofa in front of the Tv. They had Potato chips, Whoppers (those crazy good malt balls, not the sandwich), and other assorted snacks next to them on the sofa. Tails had left the town for a few days to attend an inventors convention and Sonic had had the house to himself for a few days. He had invited Shadow over for day 2 of their movie viewing party. Shadow got up and put some movies into the 6 disc Dvd player. He closed the lid and it started to load.

"Allright!" He said, clapping his hands, "We ready? We got the snacks? We went to the bathroom?"

"Yep! All set!" Sonic said, popping a pizza roll into his mouth.

"Then let's movie!" Shadow said as he sat down on the sofa next to Sonic. They watched as it finished loading and the movie started up (Never mind the menu.). It was in black and white and a convenience store appeared.

"What year is this movie, again?" Sonic asked Shadow.

"1994." he replied.

"Then why is it in black and white? Is there something up with the Tv?" Sonic asked.

"Nope. It was filmed that way. You must've never seen this movie." Shadow stated, opening a can of pop.

"I guess not. What's it called again?" Sonic wondered.

"Clerks." Shadow simply replied. (A/N: I've never seen it, either. Only the very interesting second one...Now I have. It's cool. Now time to acquire "Clerks X".)

"Oh yeah." Sonic realized. "I've heard of this one. I did watch the quickly canceled animated series, though." Seriously, It was canceled too quickly. They might be bringing another one out, I hope. Anyway, we're straying far from the story. The two Hedgehogs watched the funny antics of Dante, Randell, and my favorite duo, Jay and Silent Bob.

"You know, I've often wondered what it would be like to hang out with them." Shadow told Sonic.

"Yeah. They seem like interesting friends to have." Sonic said. They continued to watch, laughing at parts. "Ooh. Rewind that." Sonic asked Shadow. Shadow clicked but it wouldn't go.

"It's not going." he told him. Sonic thought for a minute then snapped his fingers.

"Hey. I saw a remote up there in Tail's bedroom. Lemme get it." Sonic rushed upstairs and came back down with what seemed like a regular remote. He pressed the Dvd button on it and presses rewind. Once they got to the part they wanted, they played it. A few minutes later, Sonic examined the remote again. There were buttons on the top part of the remote: Tv, VCR, DVD, CD, and INTER. "Hey, Shadow. What does this "INTER" button mean?" he asked his friend.

"I dunno. See what it does." Shadow said, a little interested. Sonic pressed the button and randomly pointed it at the Tv.

What happened next was really strange.

The two Hedgehogs were pulled into some sort of vortex. Around and around they spun and just when they were sure they were going to ralph, their feet found the ground. They stared at each other, seriously confused.

"The heck was that?" Shadow asked.

"Dude, I have _no_ idea. I think I'm going to hurl up everything I've eaten in the last 15 years, though." Sonic replied. They shrugged and lean against a wall, wondering what just happened. A few minutes had passed and they both began to think their surroundings seemed to lack color. Before they could think more about it, two people walked up.

"Um, excuse me, you're in our spot." One of them said. The two Hedgehogs looked up and their eyes widened. One of the pair and long blond hair, wore a black cap, had on a black hoodie and had a tall build while the other one had a black beard, wore a backwards baseball cap over his long black hair, wore a black longcoat and had a bigger build.

"Yo! Didn't you just hear me?" The tall one said louder. "Weird alien looking things..."

The bigger one just looked at them, he looked happy to see Sonic.

"I think I know what's going on." Shadow said to Sonic.

"Yeah. It might have something to do with why everything's in Black and White." Sonic said back, looking at his skin which was indeed not so blue anymore.

"Oh, look at this." The tall one said to the bigger one. "They're color blind too."

The bigger one motioned like he was playing a video game then pointed to Sonic.

"I think he knows you, Sonic." Shadow said to him, smirking. Sonic shook the silent one's hand.

"Nice to meet you." Sonic greeted him. He reached to shake the other ones hand.

"No way, Jose!" The tall one said. "I am not catching a disease from you apparently mute...things. Now, if I have to ask you again to move from our spot just one more time, I will have to go Jackie Chan on your drawf butts!" With that, he started to do fake martial arts moves.

"Um, the actual word you're looking for, Jay, is Hedgehog." Sonic corrected him. Jay stopped and looked at him.

"Hedgehog?" he asked. "Oh! I get it! Mutated alien hedgehogs!"

"Yeah, and you just might be abducted if you don't stop." Shadow said, a little annoyed. "We're just hedgehogs."

"Oh. OK." Jay said, "Hedgehog drawfs?" The two Hedgehogs just walked away.

"Bye, Silent Bob." Shadow said. Silent Bob waved.

"What are they doing here? They should just stay on their own planet and leave us alone." Jay scoffed. Silent Bob shrugged, took out a cigarette, lit up and took a drag.

Sonic and Shadow walked a little ways before they stopped.

"Dude, could we be...?" Sonic asked.

"I think so." Shadow finished. "I mean, the whole place is in Black and White, Jay and Silent Bob is here, and...look over there." He pointed and Sonic looked over to see a convenience store that had a huge sign on the front that read "I assure you we are open!"

"Are you serious?" Sonic asked as they walked up to the Quickstop.

'I hope so." Shadow said. They went in. Inside was the familiar interior. There was the counter with the racks of cigarettes, the snack stand, and the lady pulling out jug after jug of milk from out of the freezer. Sonic and Shadow were looking around. Shadow suddenly smirked. "Look right up there." he said. Sonic looked at the counter and saw Dante Hicks standing behind it.

"Welcome to Quickstop." he greeted them.

"Hey." The Hedgehogs said together.

"Is this place open?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah." Dante said, sort of used to it by now. "What? Are you here for a pack of cigarettes?"

"No, thanks. We don't smoke." Sonic replied

"But I think I _will_ buy something, though." Shadow said and grabbed a bag of chips off of the stand. Sonic did the same thing. As they went up, Randell Graves came in and stopped, staring at the Hedgehogs.

"Hey, Dante!" he said, "Those are the two alien Hedgehog dwarfs those two guys outside told me about." Randell laughed and hold up a peace sign. "Welcome to earth."

"We're just Hedgehogs, thank you." Shadow said.

"Are you going to buy something?" Dante asked.

"Hey. Don't be rude to our guests." Randell said, "They must be really tired traveling several light years to this planet."

"Randell," Shadow said, annoyed, "We are _not_ aliens. Yes, we are hedgehogs and yes, we are not exactly tall but we came from this planet...I think..."

"Oh...OK. I believe you." Randell said, obviously sarcastic.

"We _are_-" Shadow started but Sonic stopped him.

"Just let it go. They haven't been playing video games lately." With that, they paid for their stuff and left the store. They passed by Jay and Silent Bob.

"Beep boop boop bloop beep boop." Jay waved his fingers on the side of his head as antennas as he made mock alien sounds.

"Jay, cut it out." Bob said, not so silent anymore. Everyone stopped.

"Oh, please." Jay sneered, "Just because he doesn't speak for a while, he thinks it's supposed to have a dramatic impact and stuff."

"It did with me." Shadow said.

"Hey, Sonic. I love your video games." Silent Bob said.

"Hey. Glad you enjoy them." Sonic said back.

"If this is 1994, then you're probably working on 'Sonic and Knuckles' right about now." Shadow said to Sonic.

"Hey, yeah." Sonic remembered. If he were to go to Sega studios right about now, would he see himself younger?

"How did you wind up here?" Silent Bob asked. Before he could answer, they found themselves in the swirling vortex again. Soon, they stopped. The color had returned but they were in a different place. A news station.

"Where are we?" Sonic asked. "It's looks familiar."

"Yeah. Really familiar." Shadow said. They walked around the place, trying to get a clue about their surroundings. They decided to ask a random employer that worked there.

"Where are we?" Sonic asked. The man was chubby and wore a cowboy hat.

"You're at the Channel 4 news station, Kiddo." he said and walked off. The two Hedgehogs sat down to think.

"Wait. Where did I hear of Channel 4 news before?" Shadow asked.

"OK, everyone. It's almost 6 o' clock. Let's go!" Someone shouted. Everyone started to get ready for the day's broadcast. The biggest clue of all came out of the dressing room dressed in a Burgundy suit and had a mustache. Sonic and Shadow looked at each other.

"'Anchorman'!" They shouted in unison.

"Yes. Hello. I'm an Anchorman and he wants to sit in his seat. Let's go. Up." Ron Burgundy said. The two Hedgehogs were sitting at the newsdesk, Sonic in Ron's seat.

"Sorry." They said and got up.

"Hey, let's meet the others!" Shadow said as they walked away from the desk. They found Brick Tamland going over some notes. He started to walk towards the desk when he saw the Hedgehogs. Brick looked scared.

"Ron!" He called out.

"Relax. We're not gonna hurt you." Sonic said but Brick kept calling for help. Ron didn't come but Champ came.

"Hey! You're the...things I saw earlier." he said.

"They're gonna hurt me!" Brick yelled.

"No, they're not. They're just harmless Hedgehogs." Champ said in a fatherly voice.

"I don't know about harmless." Brian Fantana said, walking up to them, "The black one there doesn't look too friendly."

"Well, trust me. I'm as friendly as I can be...unless there are certain situations..." Shadow said.

"Hey! Get away from the freaks and let's go!" Ron shouted from the Newsdesk, Veronica Corningstone beside him.

"And this is one of them." said Shadow, trying to go towards Ron but Sonic was holding him back. They watched as they did the newscast and when it was over, the Anchormen went outside. After a few minutes, Sonic realized something.

"Hey, remember when they had that big 'ol fight in the movie?" he asked.

"Right. They could be having it right now!" Shadow realized. They rushed over to the bridge where the men were just walking up. "Right here!" Shadow whispered to Sonic. The four members of Channel 9, the rival newsteam, soon came riding up on their bikes, circling Ron's team. Pretty soon, they faced each other and after the sizing up, took out their weapons. Soon, Newsteam 2 showed up, then the Public Tv newsteam showed up and then, finally, Spanish Newsteam 8. They were all in a circle.

"Man, this is gonna be good." Sonic said, smiling.

"Yeah. Hey, wanna do something stupid?" Shadow asked, smirking.

"I'm up for stupid." Sonic replied.

"Let's jump right into the fight and help Ron!" Shadow proposed. Sonic nodded and they grabbed each others hands and jumped from the bridge. Before they reached the ground, however, they found themselves in the vortex again. Once they stopped, they didn't feel as sick because they were used to it by now.

"Right when it was gonna get good, too." Sonic said.

"Where are we now?" Shadow wondered. They looked around at their surroundings, which was a cave with spider webs everywhere.

"It looks like a cave." Sonic said.

"What movie has a cave?" Shadow wondered out loud. Their question was answered when they saw a man wearing an archaeologist outfit, a brown fedora and a whip on his side coming in.

"Indiana Jones!" They realized. Indiana had just grabbed the idol and was making his way back out with it. Satipo, the man traveling with Indy was there, too. They got to the gap and Satipo swung across the gap with Indy's whip.

"Give me the whip!" Indy shouted.

"Give me the idol" Satipo bargained. At one point, since I've only seen it once and have no recollection of what happens next, Satipo left, leaving Indy on the other side.

"We'll save you!" Sonic shouted and he and Shadow jumped out.

"Who are you?!" Indy asked, a little perturbed at two hedgehogs jumping out of nowhere.

"We are here to rescue the rescuer!" Sonic said.

"Well, hurry up!" Indy shouted, looking around at the temple falling in. Sonic and Shadow zoomed to the other side and grabbed Indy.

"Allright. On 3." Sonic said.

"3!" They shouted together and jumped over the gap. Just as they over it, they found themselves in the vortex. They landed somewhere else.

"That was a short one." Sonic said.

"That's because the disc always act up on that part." Shadow said.

"Huh?" Sonic asked.

"Don't you realize, Sonic? It was that weird button on that remote that is allowing us to go through the movies in the Dvd player." Shadow explained.

"Wait. You mean to say that that 'INTER' button had something to do with this?" Sonic asked. "Wait! 'INTER'! As in 'INTERact'!" Sonic was wondering what was going on and now It made sense. "So. Where are we now?" he asked while looking around. It was an old castle looking place.

"Don't look now but I think we're in Hogwarts!" Shadow said excitedly. Sure enough, there were the students walking around in their robes, the random ghosts floating around, and the occasional talking portraits. "Dude! I'm gonna go snag a wand!" Shadow said and ran off.

"Be careful or they'll mistake you for a Doxie that has run off!" Sonic called after him. He then decided to go explore the school. After seeing the movies and reading the books, he was actually in Hogwarts! He hoped that The Lord of The Rings was the next one. Middle Earth was in his vacation planner for the longest. Sonic soon came across the dungeons and went down into it. It became cold and damp and there were kids wait outside a door. They stopped talking at once when Sonic came.

"Who are you?" One student, who just happened to be Ron Weasley, asked.

"Hi. I'm Sonic!" he greeted in his usual tone as he reached out for a handshake. No one took it but one person did.

"I'm Harry Potter." he said. Sonic gasped.

"Are you sure?" He asked in a skeptical tone. Harry pulled back his hair to show Sonic _the _scar. "Cool!" Someone walked down the corridor to them. He had on all black and had a crooked nose. He was none other then Severus Snape.

"Are you a new student?" he asked in a sneering voice.

"Um...well..." Sonic tried to find the answer.

"I suggest you come in. We could use you." Snape said in a dangerously happy tone as he opened the door.

"Um...Ok." Sonic said as he walked inside. He wondered what Snape wanted him for as he looked around the familiar dark and dank classroom. Snape stood up in the front of the room beside Sonic.

"Today, we will make a potion that would make objects transform into other objects. When you are finished with your potions, you will bring them up here and I will test it on this Specimen." Snape pointed to Sonic, who's ears perked up. "You may begin!"

_Oh, boy._ Sonic thought, _And to think I was worried about Shadow._ Speaking of Shadow, let's see what he's doing. Shadow was had gone outside onto the Hogwarts grounds and was looking around. He could see a Quidditch game going on in the background as he made his way over to Hagrid's Cabin. Once there, he heard Fang, Hagrid's Dog, barking on the other side of the door. Before Shadow can do anything, he saw the big form of Hagrid coming around the house.

"OI! You get back into yer cage!" he shouted.

"Huh? Cage?" Shadow asked perplexedly.

"Oh. Stubborn, eh?" Hagrid asked and then picked Shadow up and carried him towards a cage.

_Dang that Sonic! _Shadow thought. Back in Snape's class, The kids had just finished their Potions and were lining up to try it on Sonic.

"Allright. I will now try it on our specimen. This may change it to another object like a blob and we might not be able to change it back. Who knows? It may also have a...deadly effect on it." Snape said, like it had happened before. Sonic gulped.

_Hoo kay. This is where we start to have problems. _Sonic thought. Snape took an eye dropper and sucked some up. He then held it over Sonic's head and squeezed it. The drop came out in what seems like slow motion. Meanwhile, Hagrid was carrying Shadow to the cage that had mess from another animal/creature. Just as the drop of potion was about to hit Sonic's head and just as Hagrid was going to put Shadow in the cage of doom, the vortex came right on time and as they were swirling around, they couldn't help but cry happy tears. When they landed, they examined their new surrounds.

"Aww. This isn't Middle Earth." Sonic said. Where they were was an underwater lair. A bald man in a gray suit sat in a Chair and a little version of himself in the same was standing there.

"No." Shadow said, "It's 'Austin Powers in Goldmember'." Shadow said. He pointed to where three men where standing. "See? That's his Dad about to be captured." Nigel Powers stood in between two guys holding a gun on him.

"Whoa! Easy peasy, Lemon squeesy!" Nigel told one of them who was about to carry him off.

"Yeah, man! Don't touch him!" Shadow said, just loud enough for everyone to hear. They were hidden.

"Intruders!" Dr. Evil shouted. "We have intruders! Sound the alarm!"

"Wow! I wish Foxy Brown was here. She was hot." Sonic said.

"Ok. I knew I shouldn't have worn this sweater." came a voice from behind them. They turned around and Foxy was standing there taking off a sweater.

"Um...Ok." Shadow said. "Just when is Austin going to get here."

"I'm already here." came another voice from behind them. It was Austin Powers himself.

"Dude. Just fall down." Sonic said quietly. "At least you'll still be alive." The third henchman about to confront Nigel heard him and fell down (A/N: The man was about to still confront him but then heard Sonic. That's why he fell down..).

"Aren't you going to do something?" Shadow asked Austin.

"I'm not supposed to even be here." Austin said.

"Neither am I." Foxy said and they left. Nigel had a tear roll down his cheeks as his was being sent to his cell.

"What about the intruder alert?" The guy with the eyepatch asked.

"Oh." Dr. Evil said. "Intruder alert! Mini me, sound the alarm!" The miniature version of himself started going "Booowooop! Booowoooop!"

"No! Press the button!" Dr. Evil shouted, "Scott, _you_ sound the alarm!" His son started going "Boooowooop! Boooowooooop!" as well.

"No! Will someone just sound the alarm already!" Dr. Evil shouted. Everyone in the submarine went "Boooowooop! Boooowooop!" Sonic and Shadow laughed. Before they could see Dr. Evil's response, the two Hedgehogs were wisked away in the vortex. When they landed, they looked around.

"This is the final movie." Shadow said.

"Where are we?" Sonic asked. His question was answered when someone gave a shrill whistle. They looked over to see Jay and Silent Bob standing by a wall. Silent Bob waved.

"This is 'Clerks II'" Shadow said. They went over to the people.

"Oh, look. The aliens have landed again." Jay said. Silent Bob hit him in the arm.

"You still remember us?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah. about 15 years ago. When you just disappeared in that weird alien transportation thing, Bob was really sad." Jay said. Silent Bob put on a sad face.

"Oh, sorry." Sonic apologized. "We couldn't help it. Buuut, we're back now."

"Yeah." Shadow said.

"Hey. Bob said your game stunk." Jay told Shadow.

"Well, that's what happens when you have a wacky filming schedule, and a crew who decided to have a two week break in the midst of filming." Shadow said (A/N: I haven't played the game yet and I probably would like it but that's what some critics say.). "Why, then, did they wait 'till it was almost the deadline-"

"Go get us something to eat." Jay interrupted.

"Heck no. We aliens don't serve rude humans." Shadow said sarcastically.

"Sonic, would you be a pal and go get us something to eat?" Silent Bob asked.

"Why, sure!" Sonic said. "What are you feeling like?"

"A Calf meal for Jay and a Pig and Cow value meal for me. With extra ketchup." Silent Bob explained.

"Ok. Sure." Sonic said and walked off with Shadow.

"Make sure they put a toy in it!" Jay shouted after them, "A Jr. Frog!" The two men stood there for a moment when Jay looked at Silent Bob.

"What?" He asked.

"You're a real suck up, you know that?" Jay told him. Inside Mooby's, Sonic and Shadow walked up to the counter. While waiting for the cashier, they looked around.

"So, they made a sequel, huh?" Sonic asked.

"Yep!" Shadow replied, "Kevin Smith just may make a third one!" (A/N: I hope!) At that time, Elias walked up to the register.

"Hello. Welcome to Mooby's. May I take your-" Elias stopped when he noticed who the customers were. "Sonic and Shadow!!!!" He screamed.

"Yes. We'd like a-" Shadow started.

"Sonic and Shadow!" Elias screamed again.

"What's going on?" Dante, looking seriously different in appearance, said as he came over. He stopped when he saw the hedgehogs.

"Dante! Sonic and Shadow are here!" Elias said excitedly.

"Oh. I remember them. From nearly 15 years ago. Hey, Becky! Come out here!" Dante called. The manager and his girlfriend, ran out.

"Oh my gosh!" She yelled.

"See? I told you." Dante said, "Now you owe me."

"Fine." Becky pouted then started to unbutton her shirt.

"Um, tonight. Wait 'till tonight." Dante said quickly and she stopped.

"Can I take your order, now?" Elias asked.

"Yeah. We'll have a Calf meal, a-"

"Oh no. We're being abducted again." Randell moaned as he was coming in from the back.

"Randell..." Dante moaned.

"_Anyway_," Shadow started again, contemplating if he should maim him right there, "We'll have a Calf meal, three Pig and Cow value meals with lots of ketchup, and an order of Moo-sticks."

"Um...How about saying that in English?" Sonic asked.

"So, you want a Mooby's equivalent of a kid's meal, Three Bacon Cheeseburger value meals with extra ketchup, and an order of cheesesticks?" Elias asked.

"Yeah." Shadow replied.

"Oh. That's a relief. I thought I was going to have to say we don't serve Cristalyte or something." Randell said.

"Go fix the food, Randell." Dante told him. Randell went.

"I swear, if I find flies in my stuff, I'll use that as an excuse to maim him." Shadow whispered to Sonic. Outside, the 4 people stood against the wall, eating their food.

"So, what happened to you?" Silent Bob asked Sonic.

"Oh, we just had to go somewhere then. I would've like to have stayed but..." Sonic said.

"Bob cried when you left. He was like "Waaa! Waaa! I wish they didn't have to leave!" Jay mocked Silent Bob crying.

"Jay! No I didn't. Yes, I was sad but..." He stopped when someone came up to them.

"Got that...you know?" The man asked.

"Not now. We have guests." Jay said.

"So? What do they have to do with it?" The man asked.

"They have a lot to do with it now beat it." Silent Bob said. The man went off, mumbling about "Stupid Sony Mascots".

"Yeah, and that's why I'm gonna..." Shadow started.

"Keep cool, Shadow." Sonic said as he put a fry into his mouth.

"So, how is Amy doing, Bob?" Shadow asked, instantly forgetting the past confrontation.

"Yeah. You never talk about her, anymore." Jay said, a little concerned. Silent Bob sighed.

"Well, you _really _wanna know?" He asked solemnly.

"Kinda. Yeah." Shadow said while Jay nodded.

"Well, it's like this..." But before he can tell the story, the guy from before came up with his friend.

"Hey! These are the guys who refused me service because 'they have guests over'!" The guy said.

"Well, they're right." His friend, who happens to be his girlfriend, said. "You shouldn't be rude to them if they have guests."

"Oh, I hate you!" The man said, running off while crying.

"I'm sorry. He just got out of the...'Happy house'." She apologized and ran off after him.

"Don't worry. There are a lot of people like that around here." Silent Bob said and sipped his drink. Later on, the Hedgehogs knew they had to go so they were saying their goodbyes.

"Allright guys, we're gonna head off." Sonic said.

"Yeah. It's been fun." Shadow said.

"One question. How did you know our names?" Silent Bob wondered.

"Oh, we have our ways." Sonic replied.

"Stalkers..." Jay muttered under his breath.

"Well, looks like our ride's comin'." Shadow said. spotting the vortex in the distance. "We'll probably see each other some other time. It may be a while, though."

"Yeah, but who knows? It may be sooner then you think." Silent Bob said. The vortex came and sweeped up the Hedgehogs for the final time. They left Jay and Silent Bob alone.

"Why did you say that?" Jay asked.

"Just being dramatic." Silent Bob replied, smirking. He knew Jay hated that.

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The two Hedgehogs flew around the vortex until they landed on their couch. They sat there for a moment as the ending credits to "Clerks II" played. They had just had the most interesting trip ever.

"Wow. I can't believe Tails has not shown me this before." Sonic said, holding the remote in hand like it was now a delicate artifact.

"Yeah." Shadow said. "That was pretty sweet."

"Hey, look. I got a message." Sonic said, looking at the answering machine. He pressed the button and it beeped. It was Tails.

"Hey, Sonic. This is Tails. Duh. Anyway, I won't be home for a little longer for I am traveling to Europe seeing as _I have won the Invention Convention championship! _Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. Oh, and look in my room. There's something in the top drawer that you may like. Sorry about waiting so late. Later!"

Sonic held up the remote. "Oh, I like it." Shadow took a bag out of his pocket.

"Well, it looks like we have some souvenirs." he said. Sonic reached into his pocket and took out a bag of potato chips. It was the bag they brought when they visited Quickstop only it was in color.

"Cool!" Sonic said.

"Hey, Sonic. Where should we go next?" Shadow asked, putting 6 more discs into the Dvd player.

"There's only one way to find out." Sonic said as he pointed the remote at the audience's view and pressed the button. The screen made a "Tv shutting off" effect and it was black.

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The next morning, Sonic had got up from his bed, wondering if what happened the day before was really a dream. He yawned and scratched himself. Sonic's stomach rumbled so he had decided to go down to the kitchen to get himself an Egg and Sausage Biscuit. Sonic reached the kitchen and stopped at what he saw: Jay and Silent Bob raiding the fridge. They looked up at him.

Sonic gasped. Cut out.

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Well, there it is. The chapter as requested by InuTaiyoukaiGalofDarkAndLight and Ultimate Female. It was fun doing this one as well. Who knows, I may do a follow-up where they go through different Tv shows. And maybe another one where Sonic is trying to put up with Jay and Silent Bob in his house. Those are just thoughts, though. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this. As always, your Reviews and Criticism are welcome. As well as your Request chapter ideas. Remember, if it is something I know well, I'll might be able to do it. If not, I'll see what I can do.

Now, before I leave, I'd like to start a Trivia and Notes section in the vein of Neo Namco, another great author. I hope he doesn't mind me doing this. Anyway, here it is.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production from November 27-29, 2007

-This episode was produced to replace another episode which was slated to air on 11-24-07. The other episode, as told by sources, was postponed due to technical problems. The Author has reported that it _will _be seen but as of now, it is on hold indefinitely.

-This episode originally aired 11-29-07.

-This episode was based on another Spec Script submitted by InuTaiyoukaiGalofDarkAndLight and Ultimate Female. The episode based on their first one is on hold as of now.

-This episode is ever longer then what The Author had type previously!

-The Author wishes you a (now seriously late) Happy Thanksgiving!

TRIVIA:

-Most of the stars in this episode has starred as themselves. The locations used in their respective movies have been used here, with permission.

-Originally, a music video segment was filmed but was cut for time. As was a James Bond Segment. The Author has reported that it "will be seen, don't worry."

-The other Episode involved Sonic and the Tv as well. This episode is an idea based on it.

-This section has been added to the other chapters of this story.

-On 12-20-07, additional edits were made to the episode, much like when South Park comes on and if there are gaffs in the episode, they will make corrections to it and play that version.

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Yeah, like the note up there said, I may go back and edited this Trivia and notes section in. About the other chapter, I am sorry for the inconvenience but floppy discs are unpredictable. It _did _come up but I think it had something to do with the fact that I had logged off with the things still up. Oops. Oh well. Now I know why they say you should save it in several places at once.

Anyway, I might do something random for the next Episode and then Finish the main story. 'Till then, goodbye horses. (Yes, I like the Clerks movies now. I'm serious about the 3rd movie. I hope they do make it an-

Sonic: (From another room) You know, we can't leave until you wrap this up. People wanna go home!

Sorry. All right. That wraps it up. 'Till the next!


	8. Gaiden 2: The DigiDrive!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Welcome back, Fanfiction readers. This is another side story before we get back to the main story. Enjoy!

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-- Gaiden Chapter 2: The Digi-drive! --

"_Nananananananana!_" sang the pop group, Cremé Sludge, on the radio. Matt was driving the Digi-DigiDestineds around in his SUV (Just pretend). The song, entitled 'Nananachaku", was his least favorite and the fact that the girls were practically singing in his ear made it even worse. That and the song's bass was booming. The girls were just singing and "dancing" on Mimi's part. Everytime the song would come on, she would act out the music video. Sora would too but not as crazy as Mimi would. The actual video was a crazy one so it made Mimi look even crazier.

As the car went on down a long bridge, the girl started to have a singing contest to see who was the loudest, annoying Matt even more. The others, however, didn't really care as they were doing their own thing: Izzy was listening to his Tape player, Joe and Tai were discussing an event that had occurred earlier that year at the Comicon that involved Silent Bob being not so silent over a rare comic book, a huge group of fan-girls barreling over security, and an artist having a lightsabor stuck up his...er...nowhere important but it was chaotic, believe me, and T.K. was just staring in awe at the girls and how stupid they can be at times. He stared especially at Mimi, who had apparently missed a part in her "video" so she "rewound" it by moving in reverse. She had went too far back so she "Fast-forwarded" it.

The CD was on a loop on that song so whenever it ended, it would start over again. Matt groaned. He would have to put up with the weird song consisting of the lyrics:

_NanananananananaChakuku_

_NanananananananaChakeke_

_The Stores!_

_The Clothes!_

_The everywhere you go!_

_Nananananananananananananananananananana!_

I think you can see how it was annoying as ever to Matt. T.K was still staring at the girls and wondering about their obsession with the silly song. Sora was mimicking walking and opening a door. T.K. sat back and shook his head.

"Does_ any_one know_ why _I still come on these cartrips?" he asked irritatedly.

"I don't know." Joe said, "_I _come 'cause lots of random people tend to just show up."

"Very nice! Hey. If we go somewhere to eat, do _not_ go to a Pepe's!" Jay said as he rolled

down a window.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked.

"Old man gasser here couldn't hold it in." Jay said annoyed. Silent Bob was clearly blushing.

"Anyway." T.K. Said, ignoring the past scene, "To make matters worse, _I _have to sit here and look at these girls."

"Then don't look." Tai simply said.

"They're right in front of me and-"

"_No need to ask, He's a smooth operateeeeeerrrrr!" _Izzy interrupted singing along with a tape of random songs taped off the radio (A/N: I used to do that. I lost one of my favorite tapes, though ;;). "_A smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-_"

"Um, Izzy." T.K. cut in.

"Huh?" he said, lookng up.

"That's annoying."

"Oh, sorry."

After the song's 20th playthrough, Matt had had it and cut the CD off.

"Heeeeeeey!" the girls chorused as Mimi paused herself mid motion.

"I'm sorry but now is quiet time." Matt said.

"Thank goodness." Said Mr. Magorium from the Wonder Emporium. "I didn't know how much longer I could stand it!"

"Tch! Your brother is _so_ annoying, T.K.!" Kari complained.

"Yeah, ok. _He's _annoying." T.K. said sarcastically.

"Sheyeah." Said Wayne, crossing his arms.

"I know we tried like heck to get Izzy in here." Tai stated.

"Haven't you heard about how SUV's can easily tip over and such?" Izzy asked. "It can really be fatal!"

"I'll say this again. Fatal to the people in the other car." Bart said while playing a handheld. The car kept on going the seemly long bridge.

"I wonder where we are?" Izzy asked, changing the tapes.

"Well, Me, Jessie, Ciera, and Shanise had decided to go to the showroom to, y'know, look at some cars, right? So we just lookin' at them just to be lookin' at them when Shanise finds this _fabulous _lookin' Rolls, right? So then the dude who worked there comes out like 'Can I help you?'. So we said that we were just looking and then Shanise was like 'Actually, we're interested.'. Yeah, like a few thousand dollars would appear out of nowhere. So then, the dude like 'Well, how about a test drive?' so we said 'yeah'. So then the dude had a phone call so he had to go answer it. So, while he's gone, Shanise was impatient so the girl _jimmy's _open the lock, y'know, 'cause we ain't have the keys. She gets inside, _hotwire's _the dang car and starts to drive off. I'm like 'She is going to be in a world of trouble.'. And so, then-" Sora rambled about her past days.

"What the heck?" Tai said. "That was out of nowhere."

"Didn't ya'll ask about a Car?" she asked.

"No." Izzy replied, "I said 'I wonder where we are?'."

"Oh." Sora said.

"Girl, what happened next?" Mimi asked.

"Well, somehow, we all ended up in the car and had drove a few miles before the cops came. So then, something really stupid yet funny had happened."

"What?" Asked the girls.

"Well, what happened was-" Sora started before someone interrupted.

"Excuse me. Has anyone seen a blue police box?" The Doctor asked.

"Who are you?" Matt asked.

"Oh, I'm the Doctor." he replied.

"Doctor who?" Matt asked, sensing a joke from half a mile away.

"Exactly." The Doctor replied. Izzy tried to whistle the theme song, only spitting on everybody.

"Where are we going, again?" Kari asked.

"We're supposed to be going to Middle Earth, right?" Frodo asked.

"No. We're going to-"

"Six flags?!" Joe asked excitedly.

"No. I think we're banned from there." Matt said.

"How did _that_ happen??" Tai asked. He was in Europe trying to get George Dent back for not editing out an embarrassing scene in which he was streaking and didn't know the camera was even on.

"I dunno." Matt replied, "It had something to do with Augumon getting into a fight with Bugs Bunny."

"Speaking of which, I wonder what he and the other Digimon are doing since we left them home alone?" Tai wondered out loud.

The outside of Tai's house is shown. Noises of a wild Party can be heard from inside. Suddenly, a lamp was thrown through a window, breaking it.

"We are going to...Burger king." Matt finished dramatically.

"Huh?" They all asked at once.

"But wasn't there one way back there where we wouldn't had to have come all this way?" Mimi asked, still in the paused position.

"Bring Silent Bob back." Joe whispered. He was a huge fan of the Viewaskew Universe. He would wish every night to one day wake up there.

"Trust me," Said Silent Bob, "You don't wanna go there. Once, someone found an egg of some type in their food. Unfortunately, they found out after they had an X-ray."

"Urp!" exclaimed Sora.

"I know. I heard that one of someone's fries was actually a walking stick bug." Izzy said, listening to...some sort of song.

"And do not get me started on that 'meat'!" Silent Bob said, repulsed.

"Please don't _get_ started." Matt said. (A/N: I am, by any means, _not_ insulting Burger King, I'm just making up a very bad location. I have yet to see one.)

"Hey. This isn't Hogwarts!" Harry Potter said.

"Hey. Stop at a gas station. I gotta go." Tai said.

"Heck no." Matt replied.

"I said do it or I'll have him bring Jun here." Tai threatened.

"Yeah, right." Matt scoffed.

"Hi, Matt! Ooh! Are we going on a trip? I love trips!" Jun said excitedly. "Ooh, girl! Lemme tell you-"

"Alright!" Matt yelled as he neared a gas station that happened to be there.

"You can keep going, actually." Tai said quietly.

"What? Why?" Matt asked and got the idea. "Ugh! Man?!" They stopped the car and ran out. When they found out it was a joke, Tai was then tied up and thrown into the trunk.

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Well, I hoped you've enjoyed it this random chapter. Next up, the battle continues with Mr. Lyte's boot hanging in the balance. 'Till then.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production December 1, 2007

-This episode originally aired 12-3-2007

-The Copyrighted Characters that appeared in this episode belong to their right owners.

TRIVIA:

-The plot (?!) was based on a manuscript the The Author has written as few years back. The story about the Car was written even further back.

-The Random Characters that appeared in the van out of nowhere were played by themselves. Some had their sections filmed before hand and were doctored in later.

-The original title of the episode was "Driving with Matt".

-Joe had made a reference to an idea he had proposed to The Author a little bit before filming. The Author has reported they he _might _do it.

Well, there you are. Sorry about the weird spacing. For some reason, the site is doing that.


	9. Mr Lyte's got a Gun!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Greetings, readers. (Holds up a pot of something) It's now time for another helping of the story. I hope you're hungry because I'm going to start serving it now. Hope you have room.

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(O-Chapter 6: Mr. Lyte's got a Gun!-o)

Everyone stood still in total silence, staring at the bushes with a thick tension hanging in the air. The only sound was the wind blowing and Ash making those "Ah ah ah ah." noises that Anime characters make when they're scared.

"Who are 'The People'?" Roy asked, sounding scared just to sound scared.

"'The People'," Brock started, obviously shattering the fourth wall "are the executives that works for Nintendo. As you know, Nintendo helps run our franchise and a few others. Back when we first started, we had nicer executives. They would let us get away with almost anything. That's how I was able to leave that time. However, that was my first mistake. When the first executives left because of layoffs, the new, meaner batch of executives moved in. They tightened our schedules to where we hardly had any free time to ourselves, they cut our pay in half, and you know the funny thing? They let Misty leave, they let May leave, they let Max leave, they let Gary leave. But they didn't let _me_ leave! _They didn't let me leave!!_" Brock finished the story near tears.

"Remember? I _couldn't_ leave 'cause I am the main character." Ash said.

"...oh." Brock said. "The point is, these people are diabolic!"

"We tried to contact The old executives and even the creator but they're always on the line." Misty explained.

"They only way is to actually go there ourselves!" Brock said heroically. Jessie snickered.

"Brock, I know you're not over there trying to suck up to the author by giving him ideas." she said.

"Actually, it is a good idea." The Voice said.

"Here's an even better idea! How about I put some holes in you?" came a voice. Everyone turned around to see (Dum dum dum!) Mr. Light with a 12-gauge shotgun!

"See? Look at this." Roy said, "I told you."

"Why, hello there." said the Voice.

"Hi." Mr. Light said back angrily. "I'd like to ask you a question."

"Eeeyes?" The Voice said with a slight accent.

"I am going to ask you nicely for me to have my name and my boot back." Mr. Light said in a dangerously soft tone.

"And _I'm _going to ask you nicely to stop bugging me about it." the Voice said simply. Some people snickered. This didn't help Mr. Light's situation at all.

"I will ask you one more time." Mr. Light said calmly, "May I have my things back, please?"

"I will tell _you_ one more time," came the Voice, "a-no."

"Allright, then." Mr. Light said while getting his gun ready. "I'd thought I'd, you know, warn you. Give you a second chance. But since you want to be contrary to the matter..." Mr. Light held up the gun. "You asked for it!"

Everyone cringed when Misty realised something. "Um, excuse me?" She asked Mr. Lyte.

"Yes?" he said lowering the gun.

"I think I should tell you that the dramatic effect is seriously ruined when you realise one thing." she explained.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Mr. Light asked.

"It's just a voice."

Mr. Light stood there for a moment until the frustration took over. He threw the gun down and plooped down on the ground. Mr. Light sat there as everyone watched to see what happened next.

"Are you ok, sir?" Roy asked as he rushed over. Mr. Light to the others slowly, eyes watering.

"Just what have I done to deserve such punishment?" he said sadly. "Why are you doing this? What is it? Did I offend you? Have I made you upset?! Why?!" And he buried himself into Roy's arm and sobbed.

"Well, actually-" the Voice started but Misty interrupted.

"Oh...you! If you're just going to make things worse, then why don't you just leave?!" she shouted.

"Allright, then. if you're sure." the Voice said and went away. Mr. Light instantly dried up. He looked more angry then sad.

"The heck?" Brock asked.

"I was absolutely sure it would've worked." Mr. Light said annoyed.

"_What_ would have worked?" Misty asked.

"My little sob story." Mr. Light replyed. "I thought he would have at least softened up a little. It would have been the 12th time it has worked, too."

"Ok..." Said the others.

John Adams rushed into the Hall and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it, panting.

"Phew! That was a really close call. I was so close to being caught by Jefferson." John wiped the sweat off of his face and walked towards the table there when Roger, Robert, and Benjamin walked in. John looked up. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"We bring that very same question to you, Johnny boy." Been said. The others started to laugh. "What? What is it?"

"Well, I don't wish to alarm you but it seems that the author has decided to start mispelling people's names again." John explained, looking for a way to leave.

"Ohh!" Been moaned really annoyed, "_Must_ he start that again?!"

The Voice had decided to check on the events at the Hall so he had shown up at the moment. "Well, if it wasn't for that fact that I am seriously bored at the moment, No. However, since I am seriously bored at the moment, Yes."

"Look." Been said, teeth gritted, "if you don't go do something constructive right now, I'll hit you with my cane!"

"First of all," said the Voice, "how exactly are you going to hit a voice? And second, I _will_ doing something destructive, if you very much say so!"

"I said _con_structive!" Been shouted, holding the cane up. The cane suddenly fiew out of his hand. He reached for it but it was too high. "Give me my cane!"

"What _this_?" the Voice taunted, "It's over here." The cane move to the left and Been grabbed for it. "I meant it's over _here_!" The cane moved over to the right.

"Give it!" Been shouted.

"Ok. You'll have to get it, of course." the Voice said as it moved upstairs with Been chasing after it.

"What''s going on?" John asked confused.

"Oh, heck! _Who_ knows, man? Ever since the voice had arrived, we don't know _what_ is real!" Roger snapped. Robert could only nod.

"Well, this is as real as you can get." the Voice said as the cane flew out of the upstairs window. Been gasped and flew out after it. The others ran up the stairs and to the window.

"Benjamin!" they all shouted.

"That fool!" Robert shouted. "Why would he even do that?!"

"Maybe _I _had something to do with, maybe?" the Voice said calmly. Everyone gaped.

"What?" They all shouted.

"Well, it's no wonder it looked as if he was so fond of that stick!" John said disgustedly.

"Why would you even do that?!" Roger shouted angrily, "Didn't you realize we were on the second floor?!"

"Ah, yes, I was aware of that." the Voice replyed calmly, "But I have good news. Go look out of the window." The men looked out of the window to see what looked like Been's feet waving out of an empty water barrel.

"Help!" came the muffled voice from inside, "Get me out of this blasted barrel!" The others were relieved that their colleague was not really hurt but they were annoyed all the same. Well, except John, who was nearly choking with laughter.

"I've always wanted to see him stuck in something waving his legs around in a comical fashion!" John said, amid groans from the others.

"I heard that!" Been shouted. "Now will you come down here and help me out?!"

"You know, you could at least say 'Please'!" John called down.

"Please! Please!" Been shouted.

"No. We're not helping you!" John said, enjoying this.

"Fine! I'll try to!" Been shouted and started trying to tip the barrel over by pushing his body on the side. It did finally tip over and he managed to stand up. It looked as if a barrel had feet. John cracked up even more. "Yes, you may laugh now, but once I get out of here- HEY!" Been shouted as the barrel turned itself back over. "What are you doing?! Turn me back over!"

"I thought I just did." the Voice said.

"I meant right side up, darn you!" Been shouted.

"Give me one reason why?" the Voice said.

"Oh! Mr. Sherman! Mr. Livingston! Mr. Adams! Heeeeeeelp!" Been called.

"We're coming!" Roger shouted out of the window. A minute later, they were all out in the back garden.

"Well, 'tis a mighty fine party, hereah." the Voice said.

"_Get_ me out!" Been shouted.

"We're here, sir." Robert said as they started towards the barrel.

"_I'll_ do it, if you please." the Voice said.

"Then stop stalling and _do_ it!" Roger said.

"And hurry up!" Been said, "I have just burped and I had an onion and garlic sandwich earlier."

"Honestly, Ben. You shouldn't eat that stuff." Robert said.

"Never mind! Now come help me, since he's taking a long time!" Been said. They started towards him again.

"I really wouldn't do that." the Voice said.

"Well, _we _are!" Robert said.

"_If _you insist." the Voice said. The men had reached the barrel when _BOOM!_ A deafening noise sounded as a big explosion happened. Smoke of different colors flew around. When it cleared, Robert, John, and Roger were lying around on the ground, unconscious. Been was still waving his feet around, still the barrel.

"Oops. Didn't mean for it to be _that_ strong." the Voice said.

"What's going on?!" Been asked, half scared.

"Oh, nothing to worry your pretty little powdered-wigged head off." the Voice said.

"This is my natural hair!" Been shouted.

"What's going on back here?!" came a voice from around the house. Thomas Jefferson came running into the garden and stopped when he saw the carnage. He looked from the three men sprawled across the ground to Been's feet waving around. Much like when Goku came back to earth for the first time and saw his friends dead in the Saiya-jin arc.

"Did you do this?" Jefferson asked the Voice.

"Well...yeah." replied the Voice.

"So you did this?" Jefferson asked again.

"Yeah."

"You _really_ did this?"

"Yeah." Jefferson just stood there.

"You know," he said slowly, "When I am finishing up with this, I will find you and-" Thomas' gaze went to the barrel then he looked away. "I will find you and..." he looked over to the barrel again and looked away. "As I was saying. When I finish up here, I will find you and- Who the heck is that in the barrel?"

"Oh! _Please_, sir, I would really like to get out now!" Been said, relieved that someone sane was finally there.

"Right away." Jefferson said and made his way over to the barrel, muttering about the fact that "he couldn't leave the place for a minute." First, though, he roused the others up.They sat up.

"What happened?" Roger wondered. "The last thing I remember was this...explosion."

"It was this dreadfully loud noise." John said.

"I thought I was going to die." Robert said.

"You're right about that noise, Roger." Been said, coming up, "I thought that my poor ears would explode!" The other four looked up at Been. "What?"

"Um...you're not stuck in the barrel?" Roger asked.

"Well, of _course_ I'm not!" Been said testily. "Don't you see me standing here?"

"But then...who's _that?_" Robert asked, pointing to the now foreign feet sticking out of it.

"Well, we're just about to find out, aren't we?" Jefferson said. He started to walk towards the barrel but turned around to face John. "And don't think for a minute that I haven't forgot about you, Adams!"

"Can't tell me what to think!" John muttered. "I'm thinking about it."

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Well, now. That was Delicous, wasn't it? And that's another chapter under the belt.Who's feet _do_ they belong to? I guess you'll just have wait until the next exciting installment!

Tell me what you liked about it, what you didn't like about it,

etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc.etc-

Marcus Brody: (Suddenly there) Oh, stop that!

Sorry. Anyway, 's time for the Notes and Trivia.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production December 1-3, 2007.

-This episode originally aired 12-3-07.

TRIVIA:

-Marcus Brody is the Professor from the Indiana Jones movies. He was the one how helped Indy in some situations. If you still don't get it, he was the one kidnapped and held hostage in the Tank in "The Last Crusade."

-This episode, after being viewed in the previews, had various edits made to it. One very noticeable edit was The Author, who actually had made an appearance as himself. The wand didn't float everywhere but instead was being carried around by him.

-Another change was that Mr. Light had the gun taken by The Author with his APGA, or Author's Powers of Great Annoyance.

-There is another alturnate version reportedly filmed of the Mr. Light crying scene. Originally, Roy tells the Author that if Mr. Light's things were not returned, he would start crying. Mr. Light tells Roy that he's not a crybaby but tries it anyway. It didn't work just like in this version.

Well, see ya'll later. Sleeeeeeeep...


	10. The Author's Emergance!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello again, fellow readers, and welcome to another (rather long due) chapter of The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever! The interesting story with the rather generic title. Any of the copyrighted characters in this chapter are not owned by me. Only my character is. And now we shall return back to the show!

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-(Chapter 7: The Author Emerges!! A One on One Battle!!)-

The group looked on as Thomas walked up to the barrel and grabbed onto the feet that hung out of it and pulled. Everyone held their breath. Thomas had pulled out the body of the person and all he had to pull out was the head. The person finally climbed out and shook his head. Everyone's eyes widened at the sight of this person.

"Lyman Halls!?" they shouted.

"Yes, yes..." Lyman said, straightening his hair. The band that put it into a ponytail had come off.

"But...I...how did you wind up in there?" Been stammered.

"Well, I was in the front garden when I heard the explosion so I rushed back here to see what went on. The air was full of smoke so when I turned to leave, someone grabbed me and then shoved me into that barrel." Lyman explained. Everyone else looked to where they thought the voice came from.

"I'll humor you and say that it _wasn't _me, this time." The Voice said.

"Well, what really happened?" Lyman said, a little freaked out at hearing a disembodied voice all of a sudden.

"Well, this is what actually happened." Been started, "You see, I had somehow wiggled my way out of that blasted barrel and, knowing that that creepy voice would have caused somewhat of a terrible fuss about seeing it empty, I grabbed Mr. Halls and put him there. Then I ran off."

"No, I wouldn't have caused a fuss." The Voice lied.

"See, you lied. It said so right there." Lyman said, pointing to the sentence above.

"And if you weren't, then why don't you find something constructive to do? CONstructive!" Been said, emphasising the word.

"I am doing something destructive, like you have told me to do before." The Voice said. Been groaned.

"Uh, Mr. Franklin? May I ask you a question?" Lyman asked.

"Yes?" Been replied.

"Well, is that really the way you spell your name?" Lyman pointed to the said name.

"What?" Been asked and looked over at his name. "Oh, what is this!? _What is this?!_" Been said rather annoyed.

"Is something the matter?" The Voice jeered.

"Why, as a matter of fact, there is." Been said, trying not to go crazy. "Now, how long, pray tell, has my name been subjected to the spelling of a retarded chimp, hm?"

"Let's see," The Voice said. "It's been like that for the last half of the previous chapter and the rest of this one."

"No. You're going to change it back now." Been ordered.

"Ok, I don't want to be like 'that' person but seeing as I'm writing this, I give the orders, ne?" The Voice said.

"Excuse me, I believe he has just said to change his name back." Lyman threatened.

"And I believe I just said a-no." The Voice retorted.

"All right. Let's try this again." Lemon said. "Could you please change his name back to it's correct spelling?" Lemon looked over to check Been's name only to see his name mispelled. "I said to spell his name right, not spell _mine_ wrong."

"That is how you spell your name." The Voice said.

"No. It isn't. I should know how to spell my own name!" Lemon said annoyed.

"Looks like _you _don't know how to spell your own name because that is how you've spelled it all your life." The Voice said.

"My name is _not_ Lemon Halls but _Lyman _Halls!" Lemon said, getting annoyed.

"Right. It's Lemon Halls, as you've said." The Voice said.

"Do you _not _know how to spell correctly!?" Lemon shouted.

"Eye no xactly howl 2 spel tank u verry mutch." The Voice said sarcastically.

"Wow. That actually hurt my eyes." John said, rubbing them.

"If you knew how to spell correctly then you would spell correctly!" Lemon growled.

"Listen, that is how the name is spelled." The Voice said.

"All right. Will you just put everything back to the way it should be so we can go on with our lives?" Been half pleaded.

"I wanna eat some food. Right now. To fill my stomache up. All up." sang The Voice to a parody (That he's made up just now) in the tune of Micheal Jackson's "Rock with you", Eat Some Food.

"I don't think he's even listening." Roger said.

"Well, I guess I'll take this as an opportunity to make a proposal." Lemon said.

"Oh my! I didn't know you cared!" Robert said in a fake ladies voice.

"Shut up." Lemon said. "Anyway, I propose that if I were to ever meet that...voice face to face, I would like to engage in a huge, brutal battle."

"Well, I guess it's time for me to finally make an apperance!" The Voice said. Everything was silent for a few minutes until the ground shook. The others were startled by a huge guyser of multi-colored smoke that shot out of the ground. A figure stood in that smoke.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, (To annoy the readers by keeping them in suspense), at the bush area, the people there were chatting, some with Mr. Lyte.

"Oh good. My name's back." Mr. Lyte said.

"Um, why _did_ he want your boot, Mr. Lyte?" James askd him.

"Well, I guess they _are_ nice." Mr. Lyte replied. "It's too bad he didn't want the other one that's pressing down on my corn." Mr. Lyte took off the boot and rubbed his foot.

"Ugh, I hate those." Misty complained.

"You know what's worse then having a callus?" Ash asked, "Having one and being forced to walk for a long while to a place that has stuff for it."

"Yeah. Reminds me of when we have to do those cram sessions." Brock said.

"What are 'Cram Sessions'?" Roy asked.

"Well, sometimes they want the episode we're doing over with so they'll cram more hours into our shooting schedules. For example..." Misty tried to think of one and one came up. "Ok. One day, we were supposed to be on set at 12 o' clock in the afternoon. When we finished, it was 5 o' clock the next morning. Then, they wanted us to be _back_ on set that same day at 10!"

"Yikes. And here I thought that us leaving at that one time at 11 o' clock at night was late." Ash said.

"See, before we had filmed the third movie, our schedules used to be from 12 noon to 5 in the evening. And then after we had shot the third movie, our schedules have noticeably become wackier and wackier. It could be from 9 in the morning to 8 at night on one day and on another, 7 AM to 10 at night." Brock explained, fondly looking back at the good ol' days when they had first started.

"Is that why you left, Misty? It wasn't HIV?" Roy asked.

"First of all, that HIV stuff is nothing but rumors. Secondly, I didn't leave, although I have thought about it, because of messed up schedules." Misty cleared up.

"_Why_ did you leave again?" Ash asked.

"Well..." Misty started to explain but the scene went back to the others.

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The multi-colored smoke shot everywhere. A figure stood in that smoke. The others looked on as the smoke gradually cleared up. The figure...was a tree. Everyone looked at each other confused as what looked like a robot suit came out of a bush behind them.

"Looking for somebody?" The robot suit said, startling everyone.

"We're looking for that stupid voice, whatever it is." John said.

"Oh?" said the robot suit.

"Yes and when he gets here, I will make him wish he was never born!" Lemon snarled.

"Mm-hm. And what makes you think that he's not already here?" the robot suit asked.

"How do you mean?" Been asked.

"Wait. You don't mean that you're-" Roger started but was cut off with the robot suit's cackling laughter.

"Oh, I mean!" shouted the robot suit as a creepy fanfare played as the words "Robotic Writer: Robo-Gold" showed on the bottom of the screen.

"So, you're finally here." Lemon said.

"Yes. So, I hear that you are interested in...challenging me." the Robo-Suit Author said. He was decked out in a full body robotic suit, colored gold and silver. A black, see-through piece of glass was placed over a rectangular hole in the helmet. An air tank helped him breathe inside the suit.

"Yes. Now we can avoid this by doing what needs to be done. So, I'll ask again. Will you please change our names back to way they should be and leave us alone?" Lemon looked The Robo-Gold up and down. _If he refuses, all I'll need is a can opener_, Lemon thought.

"There is no reason to keep asking me that question seeing as that is how everything is put the way it should be." the robo-writer quipped. Lemon was not in the mood. He stalked up to The Robo-Gold

"Didn't we just say to change our names back?!" Lemon screamed in the Robo-Author's face.

"Please get out of my face." The Robo-Gold calmly said. "Was I supposed to be threatened by you spitting on my helmet?" Lemon had had it. He pushed The Robo-Gold back, resulting in gasps from the others.

"Lem...Lyman. I thought you were the calm one." Thomas said.

"Well, I'll have to draw the line somewhere." Lemon said. "Now change them back!"

"I will go now. I have no intentions of breaking the forth wall even more by interacting with an in-story character." The Robo-Gold said, despite the times he's talked to them by voice. The Robo-Gold turned to walk away. _LAM!_ A fist connected to The Robo-Gold's back. Surprisingly, The Robo-Gold flew forward a few feet in the air. He collected himself and landed on his feet. He turned to face Lemon, who stood there smirking. "Then again, the fourth wall will be dust by the end of this." The Robo-Gold had rocket boosters come out of the bottom of his feet and flew back over to Lemon. _Sha-whack! _The Robo-Gold flew back and hit the ground. Lemon had punched him in the helmet.

"You are trying my patience." The Robo-Gold said as he got back up. The Robo-Gold leaped at Lemon and they fell to the ground, doing the schoolyard scuffle. The others started to cheer, ala the students in the schoolyard. Lemon-

"Oh, stop it with the 'Lemon'!" he shouted, "This is exactlly why I'm beating you right now!"

"Oh, shut up and get off me!" shouted The Robo-Gold. He used his feet to knock Lemon off. Lemon landed a few feet away and got up to go back to The Robo-Gold. The Robo-Gold held up his hand and balls of light appeared from the tips of the suit's fingers.

"Oh my." Lemon said and was chased around by goldenrod lasers. He had managed to dodge all but one, which zapped him in the backside. "OW!" he shouted as he ran around holding his butt.

"Bullseye." The Robo-Gold said while smirking. Lemon was now furious.

"Allright. That's it. No one zaps my backside and gets away with it!" Lemon said. He looked over at his name and renewed fury brewed inside of him. Lemon rushed back over to The Robo-Gold and the fighting got worse. There was a dust cloud. The others looked on, some cheering, some trying to get them to stop.

"Gentlemen! Please! Stop it! Maybe we can settle this another way?" Roger tried to plead.

"Get him, Mr. Halls! I bet our names will never be tampered with again, after this." Been said.

"Step aside!" Thomas said as he went over to the two sparring people. He reached down to break the fight apart only to get hit in the face by Lemon. "Did anyone get the number of that carriage?" Thomas said dizzily and fell out. Two of the others quickly came over and dragged him away from the fight.

"Come on, now. I wish you would stop fighting already. Look, you've just made Mr. Adams cry." Robert said.

"I lost my father in a fight." John sniffed and started to cry into Robert's shoulder.

"There, there." Robert comforted John. The Robo-Gold started to get up, only to get pulled back down.

"You fool! Stop pulling me down!" The Robo-Gold said.

"No." Lemon simply said. _Pound!_ The Robo-Gold burried his fist into Lemon's nose. Lemon fell back holding it. "Ow! My nose!"

"Yes. Your nose." The Robo-Gold said.

"It's broken!" Lemon shouted.

"What?" said The Robo-Gold, becoming concerned.

"Yes." Lemon said as the other came rushing over.

"Oh my. It must have been this robo-suit's hand." The Robo-Gold said while looking at it.

"Oh, look at this! It's bleeding!" Been said. Lemon had indeed red stuff on his nose. It looked a little thick.

"Hey, dude. I am so sorry. I did not realise..." The Robo-Gold stopped and sniffed the air. "Hey, do I smell...ketchup?"

"Yes. I smell something like Tomatos, as well." Roger said as he was sniffing the air.

"Like it's a paste of some sort." Robert added.

"Hmmm? Hey, does anyone out here besides me think that 'blood' on Lemon's nose (Lemon grunted at this) is actually ketchup?" The Robo-Gold inquired.

"Um, what makes you think that?" Lemon asked nervously.

"Well..." The Robo-Gold stooped down and picked up an empty ketchup packet that was on the ground near Lemon.

"Heh heh heh. How did that get here?" Lemon said with false innocence.

"Oh, Mr. Halls. Please don't ever scare us like that." Been said relieved.

"Yes. That was a very terrible trick to play on us." Roger said then added quickly "Uh, but now that we've got things settled, how about we have some peace and quiet-"

"How dare you play such a stupid trick on me?" The Robo-Gold said.

"Well, you did nearly break it!" Lemon said back.

"Oh, I knew it was too much to ask." Roger sighed as the two started fighting again.

"Allright, let's make a deal." The Robo-Gold said as they traded punches. "You apoligize and I won't bring out my "Special" Bodyguard."

"What am I apoligising for? You're the one who-" Lemon stopped short. "Your...Special Bodyguard?"

"No. My. "Special" Bodyguard." The Robo-Gold said.

"That's what I just said. Your Special Bodyguard." Lemon said again.

"No, no. You need to put quotation marks around "Special"." The Robo-Gold explained.

"...And does that make it much of a difference?" Lemon asked, slightly annoyed.

"Yes. It does." The Robo-Gold said deadpan.

"Your "Special" Bodyguard?" Lemon asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes. Now then..." The Robo-Gold stood up and pressed a button. A compartment opened on the left arm of the suit. The Robo-Gold took out a case and opened it up. Different colored Hoi-Poi capsules lined the case. "Now, which one was it again? Oh, number nine!" The Robo-Gold picked a purple capsule. "Bombs away!" he said as he clicked the stopper and threw the capsule into a clearing. Smoke erupted from the capsule as everyone shielded their eyes. A figure stood in that smoke.

"Didn't this already happen?" Been asked, trying to see through the smoke.

"No, but something else is." said a deep voice. The smoke cleared and Agent Smith stood there, a smirk on his face.

"Here you are." The Robo-Gold said as he walked up to the agent. "My "Special" Bodyguard."

"Charmed." Agent Smith said. He looked around. "Am I to understand that we are somewhere in the 1700's?"

"Yes, we are." The Robo Gold said.

"Well, no matter what century we are in, I only know that anyone who messes with him, messes with me and that I'm about to kick someone's butt." Agent Smith said. "Who will I do first?"

"Just our little friend there." The Robo-Gold said, pointing to Lemon.

"What's the meaning of this?" Lemon demanded.

"Well, you wanted a fight so we'll have a fight." The Robo-Gold said.

"Well, we wouldn't be here at all if you hadn't start messing with our names!" Lemon shouted.

"Lem-Lyman can sometimes explode if you know what I mean. We should have warned you that he had a violent reputation if rubbed the wrong way." Robert said.

"If I may start now..." Agent Smith started.

"Just a minute, Agent." The Robo-Gold said. "Mr. Halls. Are you fully aware of what this guy here is going to do to you?"

"No. And should I care? No." Lemon replied.

"Fine then." The Robo-Gold said. "Then let's see for ourselves. You're up, Agent."

"You're wasting our time. Just go away and let _us_ finish our business?" Lemon said.

"I'm afraid I can't." Agent Smith said.

"Well, maybe this will coax you!" Lemon said as he stalked up to the Agent and smacked him right across the face. The others went "Ooooh." as Robert rubbed his jaw, probably reminded of an altercation between him and Lemon some time ago.

"Would you hold this?" Agent Smith said as he took of his coat and handed it to The Robo-Gold.

"Ooooh-wee. Now look what you've done?" The Robo-Gold said. "You, sir, have just made him mad and now he is going to tear you up. Lemme move back." The Robo-Gold moved back as Agent Smith moved towards Lemon. "Just take it easy on him, Agent." Lemon went up to him to smack him again but Agent Smith jumped over Lemon and landed behind him. Lemon turned around and went up to Agent Smith to hit him but the same thing occured. The next few moments were of Lemon going to hit Agent Smith, only to have him jump over him. It ended when Lemon stepped on a ketchup packet that dropped out of his pocket. It burst open and the red condiment squirted over The Robo-Gold and Agent Smith.

"See? I told you to take it easy on him, Agent. Now we blood all over..." The Robo-Gold sniffed the "blood". "Is this _even_ blood?" he asked as he sniffed it again. "No, this is ketchup. Why are we wasting it everywhere?"

"This is unfortunate. I have just got this shirt back from the cleaners." Agent Smith complained. He grabbed the Lemon's ponytail and started to wipe the ketchup off of the shirt. He got up and went over to The Robo-Gold. "I have to go now."

"What?! Are you just going to let a little thing as this stop you?!" The Robo-Gold asked.

"Please remember that I am a cyborg. A very sensitive one." Agent Smith said. (A/N: Is he? I'm just making up an excuse for what is about to happen.)

"So?!" The Robo-Gold nearly yelled.

"Well, I can't stand water or any liquid matter so if so much as a drop of moisture touch my skin, I'll malfunction." Agent Smith explained.

"Hmmmm." The Robo-Gold said as he thought about the scene from the final movie in which all of the Agent Smiths are standing there in the rain. The Robo-Gold's eyes widened. "Um, Agent Smith. I believe that maybe you shouldn't have said that."

"Why not?" Agent Smith asked.

"Well, for one thing, you might want to just turn around." The Robo-Gold said. Agent Smith did so only to see the others with buckets of water.

"Thank you very much." Lemon said with a smirk on his face and they emptied all of the buckets onto the Agent.

"Hey. That's kind of cheating." The Robo-Gold said.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that." said the soaked agent. Agent Smith then sort of froze up aa sparks shot out of him. Smoke engulfed him and went it cleared, a Hoi-Poi capsule laid there. The Robo-Gold picked it up and put it back into the case.

"Not so smart without your "Special" Bodyguard, now are you?" Lemon taunted.

"That's ok because I always have another back up plan." The Robo-Gold said. He started to search around for something. "If only I can find it." The Robo-Gold looked to see Lemon holding out a wand. "I'll be taking that back now." The Robo-Gold reached for it but only had it snatched out of his reach.

"Let's make a deal. Put everything back to the way it was before you came about and you can have it." Lemon said waving it around.

"That includes my name." Been emphasised, really annoyed at how it was all this time.

"Ok, but I'll need the wand for me to do it." The Robo-Gold said.

"I don't think so. You'll just trick us." Lemon said.

"So, I can't have it back?" The Robo-Gold asked.

"Not until you meet to our demands." Lemon said.

"Fine then." The Robo-Gold said and called upon his APGA (or his "Author Powers of Great Annoyance). A keyboard appeared in mid air and The Robo-Gold started to type on it. He pressed "Enter" and a flashing light occured. The Robo-Gold laughed as the keyboard dissapeared.

"What is this?!" John yelled off screen.

"Oh, it's just a great annoyance." The Robo-Gold said. He then laughed an evil laugh as the scene irised out. The last sound we hear is of him coughing and clearing his throat. "Lemme get some water."

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Well, here you are. Another chapter that I feel is long due posted up. Did you like it? Well please tell me if you did. Did you feel it was a waste of time? Well, tell me if it was and I'll try to waste it some more. Remember, I'm still taking requests. Oh, and before I forget, Along said the request chapter requests, I'll now be taking Music chapter requests. So, if there is something you'd like see happen of if you have a song idea, please send them to me and the character you'd like to star in it. Until next time.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production during February 12-22, 2008. Production was long due to the fight scenes and the choreography for it before.

-This episode originally aired February 28, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-Agent Smith is from the Matrix movie series. He is not really affected by water but acted so in the episode.

-The bush scene in this episode was not originally in the chapter but was added to annoy readers.

-The episode is the final part of the un-named chapter 4 of the manuscript.

-The Author had appeared as himself in the said manuscript. He had decided to put himself in a robo suit for this version so as to conceal his indentity. He will reveal it soon.


	11. The Author's Plan!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello again and welcome to another chapter of the story. I'll just cut to the chase and start the story.

Jimmy James (From NewsRadio): Woah, there, little buddy. You can't start the story yet.

Says who?

Jimmy James: Roger?

Roger: (Jimmy's laywer) Says the rightful owners of the copyrighted characters that you may have featured in this story, including us.

Jimmy James: Yeah, Roger? If I have to tell you to wait in the car one more time...

Roger: We came by bus.

Jimmy James: Well, go wait outside.

Roger: Yes, sir. (Does so)

Jimmy James: Now, son. You know what you have to do, right?

What? Wonder how you got in here?

Jimmy James: No, no. You have to do the Disclaimer or people will start trying to sue you, ok?

They already know that I don't own any of the copyrighted characters.

Jimmy James: Fine, I'll do it. The Author of this story does not have ownership of any copyrighted characters that may star in this story. That includes me. If he is to ever be sued because of him being contrary to this, rest assured that I will not help him.

Just wait 'till I do a chapter on ya'll.

Jimmy James: What?

Nothing. Anyway, on to the story folks.

Jimmy James: You're going to do a chapter on us? Can I have a big part?

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( Chapter 8: The Author's Plan Semi-Revealed!! Could This Really Be A Plot?!? )

The bush area was full of people in good spirits. The Pokemon gang and the others had decided to make this their spot to chat, hang out, and do whatever. James had brought them some fish from "Fishy and Chippy's" and they were just clearing up.

"Ick! I can feel my arteries clogging up already. That stuff was so greasy, man." Jessie complained.

"Said da girl who ate two whole helpin's of it." Meowth said.

"Don't worry. If it was a few years earlier, you would really be complaining." James commented as he was finishing off his pile of chips. Or fries, depending on who was reading this.

"I know, right? The chips would slip out of your hands, they were so greasy." Misty said.

"Hey, you know that little joint, like, a couple of blocks down? Aunt Marrall's? They closed down not too long ago." Brock said.

"Aw, that's a shame." Ash said. "I really enjoyed their chocolate chip cookies."

"That's why they closed down. I saw it on the news and they were saying something about the chocolate chips in those cookies not exactly being chocolate chips." Brock continued. Ash's face fell at that.

"Say what?" he asked.

"Yeah and then they went on to say something about rat droppings being-" Brock stopped and laughed at the face Ash was making.

"Dang! You mean to tell me that all that time I was thought that those chocolate chips were unique?" Ash asked while feeling his stomach turn.

"Sorry, man." Brock said, trying not to laugh.

"Come on, man. Didn't we just eat?" Misty asked. turning green herself.

"Hey, he's here again." James said, washing down the chips with water.

"Hm?" the others went..

"Hey." said the disembodied voice.

"Hello." said the others, waving a little.

"Well, I think me and Roy would like to be heading off now so if you don't mind..." Mr. Lyte said.

"I have already said 'no'." The Voice said.

"I realize that but I really need it back so I can go." Mr. Lyte explained.

"Go where, might I ask?" The Voice said.

"To someplace." Mr. Lyte said.

"Where is this someplace?" The Voice asked.

"Oh...you. Stop stalling and give him his butt...boot back so he can go?" Misty said. She then blushed a little at her mistake.

"Wow, Misty. You've been doing that for a while, now." Ash said.

"Yeah. What's on yer mind?" Meowth asked.

"Nothing. Never mind." Misty said as the tinge went to a deeper shade.

"She is right. Stop stalling." Mr. Lyte said as he held out his hand.

"I...don't want to." The Voice said.

"And...why not, may I ask?" Mr. Lyte asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Because I need it." The Voice simply replyed.

"You...need it? Is there an explaination behind this?" Mr. Lyte said, trying not ot laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"Well, actually, there is. Would ya'll like to hear a story?" The Voice asked.

"Ok." the others said.

"Alright, I like stories." Mr. Lyte said.

"Alright, So it was a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, right? Well, actually it was just here on earth just a couple of months ago. So...It was on a Wednesday, cause you know, interesting things always happen on a Wednesday morning. So..." The Voice started to spin a tale that would surely knock your socks off and maybe your feet as well when Mr. Lyte interrupted.

"Um, actually, I have to be heading along so...here." Mr. Lyte pulled off the other boot and set it down. "If you want them so much, here. I'll just put on the other pair I have at home."

"Huh? But don't you want to hear the reason why I need it?" The Voice asked as he took the boot.

"I'm sure it's very important." Mr. Lyte said as he got up. "Well, I'll be seeing you."

"All right, bye." Everyone said as Mr. Lyte left through the bushes.

"Yeah, he has a meeting. Something about tea and indians. Hey, just tell me so I can go tell Mr. Lyte later." Roy said.

"Ok. I'll tell ya'll. Alright, so it was a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, right?-" The Voice started.

"Just skip to the story?" Brock said.

"Ok, so I'm walkin' to school, right. And I'm seeing all kinds of weird things, being it's a Wednesday morning. However, it only got weirder when..."

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Being that The Author does not want to reveal his "plan" yet to the audience, let's go somewhere else. Let's go to...WNYX. Yeah. There's Dave Nelson now. Hi there, Dave!

"Oh gosh." Dave moaned as he sat at his desk.

What's the problem?

"I heard about you and how you always mess up things." Dave said.

I don't...I mean, The Author doesn't do that.

"Why do I have a monkey tail sticking out of the back of my pants?!" Came Bill McNell's voice from another room.

"Oh, and I suppose he's had a monkey tail sticking out of his butt all the time." Dave sarcastically said.

Yes, actually. He is a Saiyan.

"A _what??_" Dave asked but before anymore is said, Jimmy James walked into the office.

"Hey, Dave. What's going on in-" Mr. James started before noticing the narrator. "Hey, so you _are _doing a chapter about us!"

"Oh no." Dave moaned.

No, not really. Just here while I-The Author tells others about a plan he doesn't wish to reveal just yet.

"Well, you can't do that. It says so right up there in the title that the plan would be revealed." Mr. James said as he sat on Dave's desk.

Right. But notice how it says "Semi-Revealed", meaning that the plan is revealed to other people except the ones reading this.

"Uh huh, but maybe it means that you tell the..."readers" some of the plan." Mr. James said.

Oh, they'll find out soon enough.

"No, they're going to find out now. Roger?" Mr. James said.

"Bite me!" came a voice from the other side of the door. Mr. James got up and went outside. What followed was Roger yelling "Ow.".

"What? You told me to bite you!" Mr. James said. Dave got up and closed the door.

"Listen. If you come here again..." Dave started but before we heard his "threat", we go back to the others.

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"Ohhhhh!" Said the Pokemon gang and Roy in realization.

"Yep. That's the story." The Voice said.

"You think maybe you could have told us from the beginning instead of dragging this out?" Brock asked.

"Well, that's about three chappies there, brother." The Voice said.

"Ok, it makes more sense to me now. I hope you go through with it. Well, I'm off." Roy got up and left through the bushes amid "Byes" from the others.

"Oh my. I hope you can do this." Misty said.

"Yeah, me too. Or else my Pink Panther Movie Collection is in trouble. Well, I'm am now departing." The Voice said worried.

"Alright. Bye!" Everyone said. The Voice left with questions swirling around in his head. How was he going to do this before the contest? How was he going to save Inspector Clouseau? How was he going to-

"Here's another question. Shut up." said a heckler.

"Here's your answer. No." retorted The Voice as he ate grape jellybeans.

"Aw man. Not the Jellybeans." Complained the heckler.

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The Robo-Gold walked up the driveway to his house. The flag on the mailbox was up and a white light on it was blinking. The Robo-Gold opened it up and spotted a package. He took it out and closed the box, which caused the flag to go down and stop blinking. The Robo-Gold went inside of the house, a big castle looking shack, and went up to a big room which had a big tv screen used for gaming, watching "The Office", etc. The Robo-Gold went to a table and opened up the package.

"Oh. I see I've won the contest." The Robo-Gold said as he looked down at a brand new Nintendo Wii that came with a couple of titles. The Robo-Gold hooked up his newly aqqiured system and started a file on both games. Afterwards, he went to the closet there, opened it, and pulled out a burlap sack that was half full. He put Mr. Lyte's boots into the bag and closed it. The Robo-Gold went to a phone and dialed a number.

"Yeah, Eggman. This is me." The Robo-Gold said. "What do you mean 'Me, who?'? The dude you asked to do this for you. The sack is half full so I think I'm making progress." After a little talk, The Robo-Gold hung up. He then glanced at his Pink Panther Movie Collection. "I think I might go there one day." he said to himself.

The Robo-Gold went to a corner of the room and pulled off his helmet. Steam engulfed his face as red eyes glowed through it. "These glasses are cool." Said The Robo-Gold.

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And there you are. A somewhat mysterious chapter with...oh my...a little plot. Hey, yeah. About that plan. I'll reveal it when the time comes, don't worry. You may know who this plan is with but you don't know the actual reasons why Eggman is asking me for this. Anyway, please leave your thought and requests for story ideas at PO Box Click the little thing down there, 'Til then.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production February 25-26, 2008.

-This episode originally aired February 28, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-In the original manuscript, The Voice was originally joking about keeping Mr. Lyte's boot. At the time, The Author hadn't come up with plan at the time.

-A scene was deleted before broadcast that features Misty confused about the situation with the boot.

-The scenes at WNYX was never in the manuscript being as The Author wasn't watching it at the time.


	12. If it suits you right!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello. Well, let's just cut to the chase and-

Jimmy James: Sorry to interrupt you there, son.

(Sigh) Yes?

Jimmy James: I'm sorry but I thought we talked about this before.

Yes, Mr. James.

Jimmy James: You can't just "Cut to the chase", son. You have to do the Disclaimer, alright? Or else you'll have a gang of lawyers on your tail, including mine.

So?

Jimmy James: So? I'm trying to help you out, boy. Now do the disclaimer.

(Sighs and rolls eyes) I do not own any of the copyrighted characters that may be featured in this story.

Jimmy James: See? There you go, son. That wasn't so hard, now was it?

No. Hey, where's Roger?

Jimmy James: I can't answer that.

Dave Nelson: (From the distance) He's in the Hospital!

Jimmy James: He told me to bite him so that's what I did!

Uuuuh huh.

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( 0 Chapter 9: If It Suits You Right! 0 )

The Robo-Gold walked into the independence hall and sat at a table that sat in the middle of the front hall.

"Ok, I'm back. You can come downstairs." The Robo-Gold said. Robert, Lyman, Roger, Ben, John, and Jefferson slowly descended down the stairs, decked out in sharp looking suits. They ranged from tweed to regular fabric. They all had ties, bowler hats, and shoes that were just shined.

"Oh, look at our names." Ben said, relieved.

"Yeah, I have decided to change 'em back. So, how do you like them? Don't ya'll look handsome?" The Robo-Gold said.

"Well...we guess..." Ben said.

"What do you mean 'we guess?'? Of _course_ we look handsome!" John said.

"I guess." Ben said.

"But aren't these clothes a little...snug?" Lyman asked as he moved his arm around.

"Yes. I'd have to agree. My neck's a little stiff." Roger added.

"At least loosen them up." Lyman said.

"Yes, a certain...region is-" Robert started.

"Alright, alright. I'll fix it." The Robo-Gold said. He waved his hand lazily and said "Chime." The suits on the men suddenly became really loose to the point where they were hanging off of them.

"Hey!" the men said.

"Not _that_ much." Lyman said.

"Yes, a certain...region is-" Robert started.

"Stop it with the regions, Rob. Ok. Chime." The Robo-Gold said as he waved his hand barely. He knew he had got it right when the men murmered with approvement. "There you go."

"Is this our...punishment?" Robert asked.

"Well...no." The Robo-Gold said. "To be honest, guys. I wanted to see what our founding fathers looked like in modern suits."

"Modern, eh?" Ben asked. "That's all the rage right now."

"Good. Now go show off your suits to your wives. For whoever isn't married, there's a park where you can see if you can get a lady to notice you." The Robo-Gold said.

"Will do!" The men said and they rushed outside.

"Well, my work here is done." The Robo-Gold said as he went outside as well. The Robo-Gold pressed a button and jumped up into the air...only to crash back down to the ground. "Itai yo! I forget to add rocket boosters to the feet!"

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There you are. A somewhat short chapter to show you what became of the men of independance. As always, R&R and I'll ya reeeeal soon!

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NOTES:

-This episode was shot in bits during production of "The Author Emerges!" and "Author's Plan Semi-Revealed!" in February of 2008.

-This episode originally aired February 28, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-This is the final part of the unnamed chapter 5 of the manuscript.


	13. Gaiden 3: Blunder Mifflin!

The Completley Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello, again folks. We will now take a break from the main story to do another side chapter.

Jimmy James: Oh? I wonder where you're going to do this chapter?

At Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch.

Jimmy James:...Oh...

Don't worry. You'll get a chapter. Anyway, I hope you-

Jimmy James: The Disclaimer, son.

Oh, you should already know it, folks. I hope you enjoy it.

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Scenes of Scranton, Pennsylvania passes by as a somber piano tune plays. It kicks up to a full ditty with accordion as scenes from a busy paper plant goes by. Pictures of some of the employers who work there are shown with their name. A sign is then shown that reads the words

Gaiden Chapter 3: Blunder Mifflin!

It was another day at Dunder Mifflin. Everyone was working and working and working and working and working and working and working and working and work-

"Argh!" went Dwight Schrute.

Sorry. Anyway, as they were working and working and working and working and wor-

"Would you cut that out?!" Dwight shouted. Everyone looked up at him.

"Um...who were you talking to?" Jim Halpert asked his co-worker.

"Didn't you just hear that?" Dwight asked, somewhat irritated.

"Hear...what?" Pam Beesly asked from the reception desk.

"'Working and working and working and working!'" Dwight mocked.

"Um...no..." Jim said, thinking about how Dwight must still be upset about his break-up with his ex-girlfriend, Angela Martin. It's been over two months and Dwight seemed to have been getting tenser and tenser.

"This isn't about Angela, alright?!" Dwight shouted. Everyone jumped at his sudden outburst.

"Who said anything about Angela?" Jim asked.

"Know what? No one, ok? Just get back to work." Dwight said. Everyone was confused but went back to work. The Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Michael Scott, came out of his office.

"Everyone, can I have your attention?" Michael asked. Everyone looked up and jumped in surprise.

"Nice hat, Michael." Pam said while trying her best to make her laughter sound like an innocent giggle. She sounded weird.

"Ha ha." Michael said dryly. "Well, you know what, Pam? The joke is on you because I was never wearing this hat." A large Sombrero sat on his head.

"Then...why are you wearing it?" Kevin asked.

"Because...Hey, yeah! Why _am_ I wearing this hat?!" Michael shouted. He took it off and put it on Stanley's head.

"Arriba." he droned dryly.

"Anyway, I have an announcement to make." Michael said. "The heat will be cut off at 11am to 2pm everyday in order to save energy due to financial problems."

"It won't bother us." Jim commented. "The weather has been getting warmer by the day."

"Then why are icicles forming from the ceiling?" Stanley asked as he pointed to a huge icicle hanging down over Dwight's desk.

"Why is it over _my_ desk?" Dwight complained.

"Anyway, the real announcement is that I have eaten Dwight's lunch." Michael said.

"No you haven't. It's right-Hey! Where is my lunch bag?!" Dwight said as he went through his bag.

"Kevin has it!" Michael shouted and pointed at Kevin

"Oh, you blame _me_! Let me guess, is it because of my weight? A little originality would do, thank you." Kevin said.

"Let me smell your breath, Kevin." Dwight said. Kevin opened his mouth and Dwight coughed.

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Dwight sat in a chair for his talking head. "Note to self: don't _ever_ ask to sniff Kevin's breath!"

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"Thank you. We know Kevin didn't eat my lunch." Dwight said. He looked at Jim. "Oh, Jimmy?" Dwight asked dangerously sweet.

"What?" Jim asked nervously.

"Have you seen my lunch?" Dwight asked in the same tone that made the room cold.

"The heater's off, guys." Michael said.

"No." Jim said, moving back.

"What's in that bag, Jim?" Dwight asked again moving towards it.

"Nothing." Jim said, holding bag up to himself.

"There is some- Oh, wait. Sorry, I had a white bag." Dwight said, apologetically. Jim sat down, his heart beating real fast. Ever since Dwight had his break up, he has been seriously intimidated by him.

"No, I'm not. It was just the way that he was talking." Jim said.

"What?" Dwight asked.

"Never mind." Jim said as he sat back down.

"Now, come on. I mean it. I want my lunch." Dwight said. At that time, Michael burped and Dwight happened to smell it. "Nacho Cheese..." Dwight said even more dangerously.

"Um..." Michael said, inching for the door.

"I happened to have a bag of Doritos of the same flavor in my lunch." Dwight slowly said.

"Um..." Michael said, almost to the door.

"Michael!" Dwight yelled. The office started to shake as the lights flickered.

"Not again!" Kevin yelled as Dwight started to grow in form. His eyes turned a bright red as his hair grew in length. Michael nearly wet his pants as Dwight stood over him.

"Hey!" someone shouted. Dwight turned to face the fool who would dare interrupt his rampage.

"What!?" Dwight snapped in a demonic voice.

"Why is your lunch in my desk?" Creed asked while he held a white bag in his hand. Everything went back to normal as Dwight shrank back to his regular self as he walked over to Creed and took his lunch.

"Thanks." Dwight said and walked out of the office, leaving everyone confused and scared.

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Michael was in his office for his talking head. "Dwight's done that before. Jim's had a dream about it but I never thought that it would really happen. I think Dwight is still upset about Angela."

"No, I am not!" yelled Dwight from the distance.

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"What do you have in your lunch that is so important that you freak out on us like that?" Jim asked.

"If you must know..." Dwight said and took out a wrapped sub, a bag of Doritos, a Harry Potter juice box and a chocolate pudding.

"Ooh!" Jim said and snatched the pudding.

"Jim! We just went through this!" Dwight shouted.

"Yeah. We did." Jim said and made like his was going to peel back the seal.

"Jim, if you pull back that seal, I swear I am going to cry so loud!" Dwight yelled. Everyone tensed when they heard this. There was an incident in which Dwight found his pudding missing and then found Jim eating it. He then freaked out on Jim and afterwards started crying like a little girl with a skinned knee. This event earned Dwight the nickname "Poo-hoo-hudding cup". That didn't mean Dwight wasn't going to do it again. "Did you hear me, Jim?" Dwight asked louder.

"Yeah." Jim said and tossed it to Pam. Pam had asked him to give it to her earilier that day.

"Thanks." Pam said and acted like she was going to pull back the seal.

"Pam. Not you, too." Dwight said, his voice shaking and his eyes welling up. Pam thought better of it and give the pudding back to Dwight. Ever since his breakup, the pudding was all he had. "That's not true! I have my...my Harry Potter books, my beet farm..."

"Dwight. Is everything ok?" Michael asked, a little concerned.

"Yeah." Dwight replied, trying not to go crazy. "Yeah. Everything's ok. Ok. Ok?"

"Uh huuuh." Michael said, trying to convince himself that he didn't have a mental patient working at the plant. So, everyone got back to work. Yep, they were working and working and working and working and work-

"Man, that's annoying!" Andy said.

"You heard that?" Dwight asked him.

"Yep, and it's [Bleep annoying." Andy replied. The others covered their ears from that loud beep that just resonated out of nowhere. Andy looked annoyed. How dare anyone censor his speech?

"[Bleep" Creed said "Yeah, that's right. [Bleep , ya [Bleep [Bleep !"

"Yeah. [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep !" Angela said.

"[Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep , right?" Jim asked.

"Hey[Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep !" Dwight shouted.

"[Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep . " Kevin said.

"Aw, just [Bleep it for later, will you?" Creed said.

"Hey. Some [Bleep ...one's playing [Bleep around with the [Bleep ...with the censor button. [Bleep " Pam said.

"[Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep [Bleep ." went the beep while Stanley just sat there, not saying anything.

"Hey, who's at the thing?" Kevin asked. The beeping kept going on much to the annoyance of everyone until Dwight jumped up out of his seat and followed the noise into...Michael's office.

"Hey, Dwight. Like my new [Bleep toy?" Michael asked, holding up a little button-like device.

"Michael, I am [Bleep already on the [Bleep egde so stop [Bleep Michael, stop [Bleep Michael! Stop [Bleep " Dwight snatched the device out of Michael's hand, threw it to the floor, and stepped on it.

[BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP went the beep even louder. Not to mention, it just went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on...

"[BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP " was the only sound heard over Dwight's mouth moving like he was yelling at the top of his lungs. Perhaps it was best that the beep was on.

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After a little while, they had finally gotten the beep to stop. When they were sure they can hear again, they all got ready to head out to lunch.

"Hey, Michael!" Andy said irritably "You never censor my speech!"

"What's that, Andy?" Michael said, his hearing still returning.

"I said you never censor my speech!" Andy said louder.

"What?! You did _what_ to a peach?!" Michael asked louder.

"You never-oh, never mind." Andy said.

"What??" Michael asked even louder.

"_I said never mind, Michael!!" _Andy screamed rather loud.

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"I don't know if my ears are bleeding or if those are my eardrums trying to escape my head." Kevin moaned during his talking head.

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Kevin was making some snacks in the kitchen when Oscar came in.

"What you makin'?" Oscar asked.

"Tostadas: Kevin style." Kevin said. They were really saltines with sour cream, shredded cheese, and refried beans on them put in the microwave for 15 seconds.

"What's the dessert? A Twinkie souffle?" Oscar joked.

"Yeah. Want one?" Kevin asked while getting the Twinkies out.

"Um...no thanks." Oscar said and backed out of the kitchen. Michael was on the phone in his office arguing with someone on the other end.

"No! Now we have already went through this! You can put all of the cheeses in the world on it and it will still be a circle of..." Michael paused to get out his bleeper and pressed it while saying the last word. Dwight came in with a bag of chinese food.

"Michael. Let it go. Alfredo's is still upset about the incident at the party-" Dwight started.

"Shut up!" Michael yelled into the phone. "I don't care if your home planet is 'Vegetable', you either pay me back for that...[Bleep ...you call "Fried Chicken" or I can-" Dwight took the phone out of Michael's hand and hung it up.

"You do not talk to the Prince of Saiyans that way!" Dwight hissed.

"Oh really, Dwight?" Michael asked.

"Oh really, Michael." Dwight replied.

"Oh really, Dwight?" Michael asked.

"Oh really, Michael." Dwight replied.

"Oh really, Dwight?" Michael asked.

"Oh really, Michael." Dwight replied. This went on for an hour so the scene switched to them about to eat.

"Oh, darnit!" Michael shouted.

"Something wrong with your orange chicken?" Dwight asked, eating his rainbow curry, which is red, green, and yellow curry mixed together.

"Oh, what? Do I have to call up there now?" Michael asked. "Every time I get food from this place, it's cold. Do you know why, Dwight?"

"Yeah. Because we always do that 'oh really' thing all the time until an hour later when the food has cooled off." Dwight explained.

"Oh..." Michael realized. So, the two ate in silence until they finished up. A little noise was heard followed by a smell. "Dwight." Michael said admonishly.

"Sorry. I scraped the container and Jim just entered the room." Dwight said.

"Whatever." Jim replied.

"'Whatever'? Is that all?" Dwight asked. "Seriously, is that all?"

"Yeah." Jim replied.

"What's going on, Jim?" Michael quickly added in, sensing a pattern that would take up space.

"Michael. Kevin's stuck in a garbage can." Jim said. The three rushed out to see the bottom half of Kevin sticking out of a garbage can.

"How do you know that's Kevin?" Michael asked.

"Who else has a butt like that?" Jim said.

"Shut up!" came Kevin's muffled response.

"So, what should we do? Should we leave him there so he can get out on his own or should we help him out using butter?" Dwight asked the auidence. "Find out...right now."

"Well, it is obvious that I _can't_ get out on my own so someone go get the butter." Kevin said, waving his legs around.

"Ok." Michael said and rushed into the kitchen. What followed was the sound of him falling. "Um...I just slipped on the last of the butter."

"Now, how the...never mind." Jim said. Kevin, meanwhile, was starting to freak out.

"Lemme out! Lemme out! Lemme out!" Kevin shouted, waving his legs frantically.

"Ok, Kevin. Stop waving your legs around." Jim said but it was too late. One of Kevin's legs connected with the side of Jim's head. Jim fell to the floor, unresponsive. Pam just so happened to walk into the room and saw her boyfriend laying on the ground.

"_JIIIIIM!_" she yelled and ran over to his body. She kneeled down and started to shake Jim to try to rouse him. "Please! Wake up, Jim! Speak to me!" Pam said, as tears ran down her face. She stood up, anger coursing through her. "Who did this?" she asked dangerously.

"Jim was always like that." Michael lied.

"I did it! It was an accident!" Kevin shouted. Pam snapped and ran to Kevin. She then started to hit his bottom as if they were bongos.

"Old Mcdonald had a farm! EIEIO!" Pam shouted as she hit Kevin in time to the song. Kevin had started to cry so Pam just grabbed Jim and left. The others just stared at each other until they came to their senses and started trying to get Kevin out of the garbage can. They pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pu-

"Stop it! _STOP IT!" _Dwight shouted. Michael stared at him.

"Are you sure you don't belong in an asylum somewhere?" Michael asked.

"You know, I'd rather be there instead of having to put up with these stupid voices!" Dwight shouted. Michael scratched his head and decided to drop it. So they pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled. Before Dwight said anything, Kevin finally came out, his face wet with tears.

"Are you ok?" Michael asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Kevin said.

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"I have forgotten to mention that I am a claustrophobic." Kevin admitted as he wiped his face in his talking head.

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The rest of the workday went by without incident and it was a little before 5. The staffers were shutting down and getting ready to go. Jim walked into the office, a little groggy.

"Hey. Looks who's up." Angela said.

"I hope you aren't going to start using that as an excuse to get out of work." Dwight said.

"Jim! You're ok!" Pam said, running up to him and giving him a hug.

"What happened?" Jim asked. He then remembered that Kevin had knocked him out and thoughts of revenge swirled around in his head. He was about to act on these thoughts when he felt Pam's hand rub his hair and on the base of his neck. Jim melted like butter and forgot all about what had happened. Michael came out of his office, coat on and ready to go.

"Just remember kids: Never play with giant automatic knives because if you do, you'll end a living stump. This is Michael Scott saying "Keep together forever". Good night." Michael just stood there as people stared at him for that 80's cartoon-like speech.

"Ok..." Toby said. He looked a little annoyed.

"What's the matter, Toby?" Dwight asked.

"What the heck? Why is this the only line I have in this stupid thing?". Toby shouted.

"Let me go home before something else stupid happens!" Stanley shouted and everyone started to leave.

"Well, see you all tomorrow." Dwight said and started to leave. Dwight started to walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and walk and walk-

"Now, look here you-" Dwight started to shout but the show cut to black just in time.

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Well, there you are. Another Gaiden based on one of my favorite shows. As always, please leave your question and comments...in the review box. See ya.

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NOTES:

-This episode was in production from February 27-March 3, 2008.

-This episode originally aired March 6, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-This episode had several elements from another Office story that The Author is writing at the moment. He is still comtemplating if he should post it up.

-The Author is still dancing with joy at the news of new episodes of "The Office" airing on April 10th!


	14. Gaiden 4: Don't give him any ideas!

The Completly Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello all and welcome to another chapter of the interesting story with the very generic name. I have decided to do another Gaiden chapter since I've had the idea for this one in my head for a couple of days. As usual, I don't own anything copyrighted material that may appear in this chapter. Enjoy!

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Gaiden Chapter 4: Don't Give Him Any Ideas! The WNYX Staff are Semi-Narrators?

It was another day at TalkRadio WNYX New York. Bill McNeel and Catherine Duke were in the booth doing the daily news. Or they were supposed to be doing it had they not being talking about something else.

"Oh my gosh, Bill!" exclaimed Catherine.

"What?" asked Bill, looking at a magazine of some type.

"Ok, I was on the way to work and I saw at the game shop that the demo to that new 'Frasier' game was out!" Catherine nearly squealed as she remembered seeing the monitor there along side a standee of the cast members of the show.

"Really? It's out?" Bill asked, flipping through his "Gamer's Haven" magazine.

"Well, the demo is out. So, I'm at the bus stop contemplating whether I should go in and play the demo or wait for the last bus for two hours. So, as I'm going in, I think to myself 'Meh. It's worth it.'." Catherine explained.

"So, how was it?" Bill asked.

"Well...I didn't actually get to play it." Catherine admitted.

"What do you mean?" Bill asked, marvelling at a computerized likeness of himself fighting Dennis Finch from Just Shoot Me.

"Well, just as I get there and grab the controller, the thing switches off. Apparently, it was on a timer and that it would rest every 4 hours for 5 minutes. So, I thought 'Well, I can wait 5 minutes. The bus won't come so soon, anyway. So, I'm waiting for it to come back on, really excited, mind you. Well, just as it was almost 6 minutes, the bus decides to pull up then. So, I'm upset but got on, anyway." Catherine sniffed at the nerve of that bus driver. "'What did I do?'. He knows very well what he did and there will be _Justice_ in the future!" Catherine stood up, pointing one finger up into the air. Bill shrank back a little.

"I think there will be a nuthouse in the future." he muttered.

"Ooh! You got some nuts?" Catherine asked excitedly. Bill smirked but before he could answer, Dave Nelson came into the booth.

"Um, excuse me. I'm sure the listeners would rather hear the news instead of 'The adventures of Catherine Duke'." Dave told them. Bill and Catherine looked up at the 'On The Air' sign that was lit up then said "Meh." in unision. The phone line lit up and Bill answered it.

"You're on the air." he proclaimed.

"Tell us more about that 'Frasier' game." the caller said.

"I'm afraid we don't really know anything about the game. Stupid bus." Catherine said.

"Well, I was able to play the demo a little bit." Dave said.

"Really? How was it? Who was in it?" Catherine shouted, forgetting people could hear this.

"Well, there was a stage that's in Frasier's apartment and..." Dave started to tell them but the scene went to Joe and Beth. Joe was fixing the cabinet that Mr. James got stuck in last summer...Tell you about it? Nah. I don't think I should. He would never forgive me.

"Do you remember when Mr. James got stuck in here last summer?" Joe said. Remember, I'm not telling you. 

"Oh yeah. He was trying to find his teddy bear. He usually puts in here." Beth remembered. Remember, _I _am not telling you. Beth laughed. "I remember how a video of him had somehow found it's way onto the internet onto youtube and then he had started to cry because he-"

"Wait. Mr. James has a teddy bear?" Joe asked.

"Yeah." Beth said. 

"So...Mr. James actually has a teddy bear?" Joe asked again.

"Yeah. Didn't you already know that?" Beth asked. Joe didn't answer for he had started to chuckle then gaffaw then just straight out laughed. 

"Mr. James has a teddy bear!" he exclaimed between laughs.

"Mr. James doesn't like when people laughs about his teddy bear." Beth told him.

"Mr. James has a teddy bear!" Joe said, rolling of the floor with laughter. The scene went back to Dave, who had just come out of the booth. Dave stopped and looked around.

"Oh no." he muttered. He ran into his office and shut the door. There, he hid under his desk. "Oh no!" he moaned. Dave came back up and looked around frantically. He then decided to do what he thought he should do about this matter. Dave opened the door and stepped out side. 

"Excuse me. Everyone, may I have your attention, please?" he called out. Everyone looked over to him. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make: The Author is writing a chapter about us." Everyone was silent for a moment before seriously freaking out. "Everyone, please." Dave tried to calm them down but they kept on smashing just about anything and everything in sight. Matthew even set something on fire. Dave did the only thing he could do. Cry. "Cut it out!" he whined, tears streaming down his face. Everyone stopped to look at him again, this time, some were concerned. "Thank you." Dave said, face bone dry,

"I just wanted to say that it's for you own safety that you _don't give him any ideas!_ Thank you." Dave said. Everyone just stood there, wondering why there were just standing there when Jimmy James come out.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Be careful. _He's_ here!" Dave warned.

"Who's 'he'?" Mr. James asked.

"You know. _That_ guy!" Dave said quietly.

Honestly, guys. I'm just a normal author who's just trying to write a story. There's nothing to be scared about...yet.

"Hey!" Mr. James cheerfully shouted as he turned to face where he thought The Author was. "So, you _are_ doing a chapter on us!"

"Terrific." Dave muttered sarcastically. "Just don't give him any ideas."

"Maybe put Dave in a hula skirt while doing twirly dance moves?" Mr. James asked.

"Hey!" Dave shouted as he suddenly had a hula skirt over his suit and was doing ballet moves. "Make him stop!"

"And maybe turn Bill into a teapot?" Mr. James asked, smirking.

"Um...I'm getting steamed up so you'd better tip me over and get me out!" came Bill's muffled voice from inside a teapot that sat on the floor.

"Sir!" cried Dave as he was doing parelletes. 

"Ok. You can make Dave stop now." Mr. James said. Dave stopped dancing and immediately ripped off the grass skirt. He had never looked so mad.

"What about me!" Bill shouted.

"You can change Bill back, if you want." Mr. James said.

"Hey!" Bill shouted. After a good five minutes of Bill screaming until he started crying, he was reverted back to his human form. He went over to Catherine, who started to comfort him.

"Aw. If this was some sort of sitcom, a studio audience would be going 'Woooooooo!' right about now." Matthew Brock commented, earning stares.

"Yeah right. Who'd wanna watch _us_ on tv?" Joe asked. Suddenly, a chorus of laughter came out of nowhere scaring everyone.

"Matthew. Don't give him any ideas!" Dave warned.

"Like what? Joe suddenly falling down?" Matthew joked. A crash outside the office was heard, followed by a "Mattheeeeew!"

"Or Lisa eating Dave's lunch?" Matthew said, smirking.

"Hey! A Twinkie!" came Lise from in Dave's office. 

"No! Leave that alone!" Dave shouted, practically running to his office.

"Ok, Matthew. that's enough." Mr. James said.

"Or Mr. James getting stuck inside...the freezer?" Matthew said. Suddenly, Mr. James disappeared. Everyone rushed to the freezer and opened it. Mr. James climed out, covered in frost.

"I should really fire you for that but I just know someone's going to do something." Mr. James said, shaking the ice off of him.

"Oh, just chill." Matthew said. Mr. James froze up into a giant ice cicle.

"Afffoooo!" Mr. James shouted from inside the ice. 

"Allright, the ice melts." Matthew said. The ice did so and a wet Mr. James glared at him intently.

"Are you done?" he growled.

"Dude! You have a teddy bear!" Joe came in and started laughing. He saw the look on Mr. James' face and started to run out as Mr. James slid after him using the water on the floor, leaving the others in the kitchen.

"Ok, Matthew. Please quit messing up the story. Don't say anything like Bill not being able to get his cigarettes open." Catherine said.

"Am I going to have to hurt someone?" Bill shouted from outside the kitchen. The others ran out there just to run out there just in time to see Bill fumbling with his cigarettes. "Get 'em open!" Bill nearly cried.

"And don't say something like Bill freezing into a very impossible position." Catherine said. Bill suddenly got into a pose that was not even considered as a yoga pose and froze there.

"Ow. My every bone..." Bill groaned. Catherine was really enjoying this. Dave came out of his office, apparently having lost the battle with Lisa for the Twinkie. He saw Bill in the almost Ball-like position. "Hi Dave. Could you pull my elbow out of my back pants pocket?"

"Oh no. I told you not to give him any ideas!" Dave shouted.

"That's what _I'm _saying. You shouldn't say something like Bill starts bouncing up and down." Catherine said. Lo and behold, Bill started to bounce up and down like a ball.

"Cathriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" shouted Bill as he bounced from the floor to the ceiling.

"And _please_ don't say anythibg like Bill stops." Catherine said. Bill stopped bouncing and unfurled himself. He lay on the floor, tears in his eys.

"Don't let 'em hurt me anymore, mommy." Bill sniffed.

"Oh, Bill. Get up. And no one else say anything since you can't stop giving him ideas." Dave said.

"Ideas like what? Matthew suddenly becoming a distingished gentleman?" Beth said.

"Oh, Beth. I do wish that you would stop with this foolishness." Matthew said with a british hint as he was donned in a tweed suit with bowler hat.

"Beth, please. He looks weird." Dave said.

"Ok. Matthew is back to normal as Dave does ballet again." Bath said. Dave didn't say anything but have an annoyed look on his face as he did that thing where they stand on their tippy toes and twirl around.

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An hour had passed. Everyone, especially Dave, was really burned out on being forced to go through different ideas that they would feed the author.

"_Now_ do you believe me when I say that you shouldn't give him any ideas?" Dave said, getting glue off of his shoes.

"Like what?" Matthew started.

"Oh stop it! That's why you have a dress on, right now!" Bill shouted as he was getting what looked like silly string off of himself. Mr. James and Joe came out into the office and looked around at the mess.

"What happened here?" Mr. James asked.

"Did we miss something?" Joe asked.

"No! No, you didn't!" Dave said. He stood up and walked over to the two, his shoes still a little sticky. "Where were you two?"

"Oh, we had decided to stop fighting and just look at the stars." Mr. James said.

"Stars? What time is it?" Bill asked.

"About 12 noon." Mr. James answered.

"That's funny. The stars don't usually come out until night-time." Catherine said.

"No, I meant _movie_ stars." Mr. James said, chuckling. "They must be filming some sort of flick here."

"Could we go watch them? Maybe if we go to a place where a lot of people are, the author won't be tempted to use the ideas certain people give him." Dave said, glaring at the others. 

I'm not the author. I'm just the narrator.

"But you said earlier that you were just a normal author trying to write a story." Dave said.

Um...I did? I meant _he's_ just a normal author trying to write a story.

"Yeah. Whatever." Dave said, getting a headache.

"You guys go ahead, I'll meet you guys there." Mr. James said. When everyone left, he turned to face the audience. "Now that they're gone, we can do the real chapter. I know you were just dying to write one about your pal, Jimmy. They were in your way."

Um...That _was_ the real chapter. 

"...Oh..." Mr. James said.

What did you have in mind?

"Well..." Mr. James started. Suddenly, there is a title screen bearing the words "The Jumpin' Jimmy Show!" with him in a superhero outfit.

Um...I'll think about it. Hm...Jumpin' Jimmy. Not bad.

"Thanks. I gotta go. I wanna catch Mr. Clooney before he suddenly leaves...like last time." Mr. James sais as he headed towards the door. "Oh, and please. Try not to screw anything up."

Oh, I won't.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the heck was that, George?" said the director as he walked over to the movie star.

"I-I don't know." stammered George Clooney. "It was like my foot was controlled by a weird force. I really did not want to kick him."

"Oh no..." Dave muttered as he and the others watched from a side of the outside set.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, are you happy? I did a chapter about you all. Kinda ran out of ideas there in the middle but It's still good.

Dave Nelson: I'm not happy.

Jimmy James: Hey, thanks. By the way, Roger told me that you didn't say the disclaimer like you were supposed to.

Yes, I did.

Jimmy James: Well, you did but there is a certain way to say it.

Well, I hope you folks have enjoyed it. Remember to R&R&R.

Dave Nelson: R&R&R?

Read and Review and Request. Who knows? They may ask for me to do another NewsRadio chapter.

Dave Nelson: Excuse me. I gotta go cry.

Jimmy James: Jumpin' Jimmy away!

Um...yeah. Anyway, see you next time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTES :

-This episode was in production March 14-16, 2008.

-This episode originally aired March 20, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-The NewsRadio cast were contacted and was able to do this episode. Phil Hartman was there because The Author wanted it so. 

-There really isn't anymore trivia for this episode. Well, except George Clooney threw up on bad sushi but that's about it.

-Oh yeah. And make sure you purchase your copy of "NBC: Must See Brawl-sday!"! Fight as FrasierCraneagainst Sam Malone or Bill Mcneel against 


	15. The Author Revealed!

The Completely Pointless, Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello everyone and welcome to yet another chapter of the interesting story with the generic title. Well, you know the disclaimer so we'll just...hey, I've just got a letter. Huh. I wonder who it's from...lessee. (Open big brown envelope and takes out what looks like a giant disk of some sort. I set it on the floor and a holographic Jimmy James erupts from it) Nani kore-

Holo-Jimmy: Hi. I suppose your wondering why I've sent you a holographic version of myself. It's either one of two things; I am not really in the mood to come all the way over there or you've seen the episode about us in space last night.

Actually, I have.

Holo-Jimmy: But anyway, that's not why I'm here.

Actually, I know exactly why you're here. (Picks up the holo-disk and looks for an off switch.)

Holo-Jimmy: There is no off switch on this thing so you can just put me down.

Ooook. (Puts it down)

Holo-Jimmy: Thank you. Anyway, I somehow knew you were starting another chapter and knowing you, I also knew you were just going to start it without the disclaimer. Well, son, you need to realize something. If you don't want to get sued, you have to let the readers know that you don't own anything in it.

(As he speaks) I'm sure that they already know after several chapters of this.

Holo-Jimmy:...And furthermore, I have one question to ask...Are you going to do another chapter about us?

Dave: (Voice off Hologram) No!

Holo-Jimmy: Aw, Dave. You've just ruined the dang...I'm not doing it again. Anyway, I'm running out of power so just remember this: If I get sued, I will- (Hologram shuts off)

...Ok...Anyway, let's get hoppin' on this!

--

Chapter 10: Magic Training With Mr. Weasley!! The Author Reveals Himself and More of The Plan!?

The Robo-Gold arrived outside of the Weasley household, also known as The Burrow. He looked up at the tall building, which was floor after floor built on and held together by an unbreakable charm. It would be the second time that he would have been here (The first being in an unfinished story. There may be references of it in here). Before the Robo-Gold walked in, he thought it would be better to remove the robotic suit or face being barrelled by lots of questions from the muggle-curious Mr. Weasley. The Robo-Gold lifted up a panel on the arm of the suit and pressed the red button there. The suit started to shake and come apart, steam pouring out. In a dazzling display of lights and smoke, the author jumped out of the suit, which compacted itself and flew into his pocket.

The smoke cleared and there stood a boy in his teens. He donned over his tall build a goldenrod suit, over which a goldenrod wizard robe. He moved his arms around and started to jump up.

"Hey, that's cool!" the author said, still jumping. "I haven't had that suit off for a while, I feel so light that I could fly!" The author thought he could try it and looked like a fool while lying face first into the ground. Spitting out grass, he got up and dusted himself off then went inside. The familiar, cozy kitchen of the Weasley's house welcomed him as he walked through the double door. Mr. Weasley sat at the kitchen table, reading the Daily Prophet. He looked up at the author.

"Ah, Golden! You're here early." Mr. Weasley said cheerfully as he pulled out a chair for him. Golden sat down in it.

"Well, I wanted as much time as possible before you had to go in to work." Golden said.

"Well, I have just about an hour so we have plenty of time!" Mr. Weasley said. "Just let me finish reading this." So, a few minutes passed when Mr. Weasley finished. "So! Ready for training?" he asked cheerfully. Golden was about to respond when something horrible came to his mind: He didn't have his wand.

"Aw, But you know what?! I don't even have my wand!" Golden exclaimed.

"Ooh! You should always keep up with it. We are in times now that require us to have our wand with us 24/7." Mr. Weasley stated.

"Yeah. I let someone else see it but I never got it back." Golden said. That was half true, seeing as the Founding Fathers now had it.

"Hm...So...What do you want to do now?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"I dunno. Chat?" Golden suggested.

"Good idea." said Mr. Weasley. "I actually have a topic. Um, could I ask you a question?"

"Yeah." Golden said.

"Now, I'm not sure if it's really you but do you know why are most of my shoes are missing?" Mr. Weasley asked. Golden sort of cringed. His mind went back to that night. Harry had went out of control and somehow knocked him out. Just that morning, Golden had got the task from Eggman and just so happened to be there so he just took a couple of pairs of Mr. Weasley's shoes. He saw that Mr. Weasley was...a little "knocked out" so he had decided to tell him about it later.

"Um...who wants to know?" Golden asked, deciding to play around for a bit.

"Well, when I came to, I was a little disorientated so I just went to bed. But the next morning, I went into the wardrobe and found that the pairs I had in there where gone and only this card," Mr. Weasley took out a card and placed it on the table in front of Golden. It read "I have them. Will explain later. Golden Lockhart.". "Now, at first I thought 'What would Gilderoy Lockhart want with my shoes?' and then I looked closer and saw..._your_ name."

"Yes, I can actually explain." Golden said, laughing nervously while twiddling his fingers.

"Well, please do." Mr. Weasley said.

"Ok, well. One Wednesday morning, I was just out walking, looking for the interesting thing that would have happened that morning. Because, everyone knows that some interesting things can happen on a Wednesday morning. Like once, I saw the entire cast of 'Just Shoot Me' and Dennis was crying because Jack wouldn't buy him a- " Golden started.

"Please. Just get to the point." Mr. Weasley said.

"Oh, right. Anyway, So I'm just walking when I saw the interesting for that morning. Dr. Eggman Robotnic's spaceship flying in the air and it lands right in front of me." Golden got a mug of tea and started to talk over it. "So, I'm like 'What's all this, then?' and the hatch opens and he steps out. So, then I'm like, 'What brings you here?' and he's like 'I have a plan for you.'. So, I say 'What sorta plan?' and he's like 'I'd like you to collect lots of shoes for me.' so I'm like 'What for?'. So, then, that's why he tells me-"

--

There, I revealed more of the plan for you so we'll have to wait somewhere else while I finish telling it.

"But, you didn't actually tell us why he wanted you to do his plan." Joe said.

Ah, I saw I would reveal _some _more of the plan. not all.

"That didn't really help, though." Joe stated.

Just look at the clues.

"But we want to know _why_-" Joe started, getting irritated when Dave and Mr. James walked into the room.

"Oh..." Dave said as he plopped down into a chair.

"Did you receive my hologram?" Mr. James asked, sitting on the table in his typical fashion.

Yeah.

"So why did you skip the disclaimer?" he asked.

Because they already know. Don't you find that a little redundant?

"No. What I _do_ find redundant is the fact that I have to keep telling you about it." Mr. James said.

You're just afraid of getting sued.

"That's not the point. The point is-" Mr.James started when Bill shot out of his seat.

"Ow!" he yelled. Rubbing his backside, he glared at wherever he thought the Narrator was. "Ha ha ha ha!" Bill said sarcastically in his deep voice.

"Anyway, son. I'm just trying to-" Mr. James started to say again when we went back.

--

Mr. Weasley sat up, interested in Golden's story. "Oh, ok. I fully understand now."

"Mmm-hmm." Golden said, sipping the rest of his tea. "So you see, I may be deprived of my Pink Panther movies if this doesn't work out. Don't worry, everyone will get their shoes back once this is finished."

"Ah, ok. I guess I'll just have to get another pair." Mr. Weasley said.

"I'm glad you understand." Golden said, getting up.

"Oh, you're leaving?" Mr. Weezlee asked.

"Yeah. I gotta go get my wand back and then I gotta-" Golden started.

"Hey!" Mr. Weezlee exclaimed.

"What?" Golden asked, knowing full well what.

"I didn't realize that my name was spelled like that." Mr. Weezlee said.

"Oh, it wasn't?" Golden asked, smirking.

"Judging by that little smirk there, you have something to do with this as well." Mr. Weezlee sighed.

"What makes you think that?" Golden asked, his telltale smirk widening.

"Come on, change it back." Mr. Weezlee said.

"Ok, but before I do, can I ask where the others are?" Golden asked, sitting back down.

"Oh, they're out somewhere." Mr. Weezlee said. "Now, please. Will you change my name back?"

"Ok." Golden said. He did nothing.

"Now, normally when someone says that, they would actually do it." Mr. Weezlee stated.

"Ok. Hey, your son Run. How's he faring?" Golden asked.

"It's Ron." Mr. Weezlee corrected. "Hopefully my wife will get here soon see she could straighten this out."

"Ah, do you mean Moley Weezlee?" Golden asked.

"Now, look. Don't you start misspelling _her _name now." Mr. Weezlee said.

"And what about your daughter, Jenny?" Golden asked, smirk getting so wide, it's nearly on the side of his face.

"You mean Ginny?" Mr. Weezlee said, getting a little annoyed.

"And Pursey? Is he-" Golden started but Mr. Weezlee got up.

"Well, I must be heading off to work." Mr. Weezlee said.

"But you have 20 minutes left." Golden said.

"I know but as they say, early bird gets the worm...right?" Mr. Weezlee asked.

"Yeah." Golden said. He turned to leave when Mr. Weezlee stopped him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Mr. Weezlee asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah." Golden said and grabbed his robe that he had draped over the chair.

"No, my name." Mr. Weezlee said, annoyed.

"Oh...what about it?" Golden asked, putting on the robe.

"Oh, I don't know. Something about changing it back?" Mr. Weezlee said.

"Oh..." Golden said, suddenly fogging out and staring faraway.

"So, would you do it please?!" Mr. Weezlee said. Golden snapped out of it and fell onto the floor for some reason.

"Ok. But first, you must do me one favor." Golden said, sitting on the floor.

"Which is?" Mr. Weezlee asked.

"Well, I need to learn the Apparatus charm." Golden said, getting up.

"But you don't have your wand with you. Wait." Mr. Weezlee went and got a piece of paper. He wrote down how to do it on it and handed it to Golden. "Be very careful as to study these instructions or you might wind up as a pile of body parts." Mr. Weezlee warned Golden, who was just staring at the paper intently.

"Learned!" he announced as he threw it over his shoulder.

"Thank you." Mr. Wealsey said and left.

"Yosh! And now to go get my wand." Golden proclaimed as he ran out of the door. If only he knew where it was.

--

Well, there you have it. A chapter full of revelation! I have finally revealed myself and some more of the plan.

Joe: But that's just it. You didn't tell us _why_-

So I've hoped you've enjoyed it. Send in those requests and reviews and have a good day! Oh, and just becuase I'm nice, I'll show you a deleted scene from this chapter. Enjoy.

--

Mr. Weasley and Golden sat at the kitchen table. Mr. Weasley turned the page in his 'Daily Prophet'.

"Say, whatcha readin', Arty." Golden said. Mr. Weasley laughed.

"You sound like a fellow colleague of mine. It's the Daily Prophet." Mr. Weasley said.

"Ooh. Can I check it out for a minute?" Golden asked, reaching for it. Mr. Weasley snatched it back.

"Wait 'till I'm finished." Mr. Weasley said. Golden sat there for a moment then reached into the Plothole and pulled out a copy of the paper. He began reading it as Mr. Weasley looked up. "Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"From somewhere." Golden answered as he reading through the paper.

Amos Diggory sat dumbfounded at the fact that his paper had just vanished into thin air.

--

NOTES:

-This episode was in production on April 26, 2008.

-This episode originally aired on May 1, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-This is the first part of the untitled chapter 6 of the original manuscript.

-The beginning scene with Golden removing his Robo-Gold suit was added;

-This episode featured several references to "Leave me alone, Harry Potter!", a story The Author was working on at the time the manuscript to this was being written. The story's production was ceased in favor of this so it is unfinished. The Author has reported that he _might_ go back to work on it.

-Several scenes were added and rearranged. Mr. Weasley's name was misspelled from the very beginning and he was not so happy to see Golden again after had he taken his shoes. The training sub-plot was added at the last minute.

-This took place during the Chamber of Secrets time so Mr. Weasley's appearance was of then.


	16. Special 1: Sonic's Tube Time!

The Completely Pointless, Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first of several special episodes/chapters of the CPPFE! That's right! A special chapter category has been added to this story! The reason why this is a special chapter is because we are going to watch a "lost" episode. What's that you say? How is it lost? Well, I think a little story behind this is in order, especially to those who are just tuning in. In December of last year, you may recall me putting up the first request chapter (requested by UltimateFemale and InuTaiyoukaiGalofDarkAndLight) featuring Sonic and Shadow. Well, what you saw was not what was originally supposed to air I had written the original chapter out and saved it to a floppy disc, neglecting to save it onto the computer itself. A couple of days later, I was on my cousin's computer, about to upload it that day. I had opened up the files and it came up just fine but I stupidly logged out while the floppy disc menu was open, seeing as I had wanted to get onto my account. When accessing the disc files again, the infamous formatting message, to my horror, popped up and I was not able to bring any of the files up whatsoever. I then started to look up remedies to the situation on the Internet on how to get my beloved files back. After some searching, I found an online disc recovering software that actually brought up every one of the files on the disc but, unfortunately, I wasn't able to save it to the computer, being it just the trail version of the said software. If any of you out there have any idea on how to recover files on a floppy disc that needs formatting, please let me know. I seriously would appreciate it. Anyway, seeing as I didn't want to leave you readers without anything, I typed up an alternate version of the chapter featuring the same requested characters. Well today, I am going to show you that original chapter, fully re-typed! Originally, I was going to just wait until I get the disc fixed but it doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. So, tonight (or whatever time you want it be), we will present to you The Completely, Pointless, Plotless Fanfiction Ever!: The "Lost" Episode!!

No Copyrighted Material is owned by me!

--

Special Chapter 1: Sonic's Tube Time!!

(The Original Request Chapter 1)

Sonic wearily came in through the front door, his keys jingling as he barely was able to open the lock. Sonic dropped his duffel bag and plopped down onto his sofa, sighing in relief when feeling that softness meet with his blue hind. The reason for Sonic's tiredness had something to do with the very rigorous filming he had to do for "Super Smash Brother's Brawl". Before actually filming the fights on the stages and whatnot, each character is required to go through a few weeks of training in order to build themselves up and to get down the moves that they will perform. For the people who have had experience and had been in a previous Smash Bros. title, the training regiment for them is 2 weeks. However, for the people who have just joined the roster of characters, the training regiment for them is a whole month. Sonic, along with a few others, was in that category and this was different then any of the other games he's starred in. Even the filming of "Sonic The Fighters" was easier then this.

Sonic ached all over. It was fun getting to meet the other smashers and all but he seriously considered dropping out. He then thought about what might've happened had he went with this plan: Headlines reading "Sonic the Quitter", fans losing respect for him, and losing his contract with Sega and other gaming companies. Sonic shook his head. The pains were making him think crazy things. Sonic's eyes looked over to the thing that can cure what ails ya: The Tv Remote. Sonic gathered the strength to reach over and pick up the rectangular device and pressed the on button. The bluish light filled the room as the television switched on. Sonic felt a little better when he saw the show that was on: Sienfeld. Already feeling the pains leaving, Sonic laughed as he watched the antics of Jerry and his friends in the familiar New York apartment. Sonic yawned and after about five minutes, drifted off to sleep.

--

Sonic found himself in that familiar New York apartment pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He looked around. It was morning and the apartment everyone knew and loved was the same as it had been last night. Sonic, dressed in a blue dress shirt, black pants, and white sneakers, stood behind the counter in the kitchenette as he ate his corn flakes. It was just a beautiful morning. The sound of birds mixed in with the sound of beeping horns completely added to the New York atmosphere. However, Sonic knew that this wasn't going to last for long and lo and behold, Tails slid into the apartment holding a Tupperware container. He wore a brown leisure suit, a very colorful shirt and brown shoes. The hair on his head was much spikier than usual. Sonic rolled his eyes.

"Good morning sunshine." he said disgustedly.

"The world says 'hello'." Tails said back. "Here, I want you to try this."

"Well, what is it?" Sonic asked. He knew better then to try anything Tails made. The last time he did, he saw his life flash before his eyes.

"Jerry," Tails said proudly, "I have come up with what might be the most innovative idea ever!"

"Oh yeah? What would that be?" Sonic asked, instantly knowing he might regret it.

"Ok, you know how there's chocolate flavored ice cream and strawberry flavored ice cream and vanilla- Well, I've decided to make a whole new category of ice cream flavors! Introducing: Ice Food!" Tails said proudly as he opened the container. It contained pinkish looking ice cream.

"What flavor is it?" Sonic asked.

"Hot Dog!" Tails said.

"Hot Dog?" Sonic asked incredulously.

"Yeah. And I have two other flavors in the works: Beef and Fish." Tails said.

"Oh, so _that's_ what that smell was comin' through the vents." Sonic realised.

"Yeah, hey. Would you like to be the first taste tester?" Tails asked.

"I dunno. I remember what happened the last time I tried one of your home-made recipes." Sonic said. However he tried, he could not just forget that night. Long story short, home-made sushi equalled a two day meeting with a stomach pump.

"Oh, come on. Try it." Tail persisted as he took a spoon out of his pocket and dipped it into the ice cream.

"No, Kramer. I-" Sonic tried.

"Come on!" Tail whined as he had the spoon practically in Sonic's face.

"Allright. Fine." Sonic gave in and ate the ice cream off the spoon. As Tails expectantly looked on, Sonic swirled the distinctive tasting frozen paste around in his mouth. He slowly swallowed.

"Well?" Tails asked.

"Wow! _That_ is Hot Dog!" Sonic exclaimed, not thinking of what else to say.

"Can you-can you taste the hot dog bits like the bits of strawberries?" Tails asked.

"That could _be_ more Hot Dog!" Sonic said, still trying to think up something good to say about the "Ice Cream".

"Hey, I've just got an idea. A hot mustard sundae!" Tails said, having a faraway look in his eyes. Sonic could only feel bad for the people who could eat this "Ice Food.". It was at this time when Amy Rose walked in, donned in a black leather jacket over a white shirt, black pants and boots. Her hair was curlier then usual.

"Hey, guys." She said cheerfully as she put her black purse on the counter and went into the fridge.

"Hi." Sonic said.

"Hey, Elaine. Wanna try my latest creation?" Tails asked, showing her the home-made Ice Cream.

"What is it?" Amy asked, looking at it.

"Ice Food! Hot Dog flavored." Tails said proudly.

"Ok, sure. Let's try it." Amy said. Sonic's eyes widened, Amy willing to try something that Tails had made, Surely something was not right here. Tails put some of the ice cream on the spoon and fed it to Amy. She swirled it around in her mouth and swallowed it. "Mm. That is really...hot dog!" she exclaimed.

"That's what _I _said." Sonic said.

"That's really good." Amy said. Sonic's eyes were nearly saucers at this remark.

"Really?" Tails asked.

"Yeah. You're really good at this stuff!" Amy said and went over to where Sonic was.

"See? _She_ likes it!" Tails said to Sonic.

"Well, what can I say? She must like her hot dogs." Sonic said.

"Actually, I couldn't taste it. I have a cold." Amy whispered to Sonic.

"Oh." Sonic realized. The intercom by the door buzzed and Sonic went over to answer it. "Yeah?"

"It's George." said the voice at the other end.

"C'mon up." Sonic said. He unlocked the door and went to go finish his cereal.

"So, what would the Napoleon be like?" Amy asked.

"Hmm, I haven't given that much thought." Tails said, thinking deeply.

"Would it be like Mashed Potatoes, Meatloaf, and cherry pie or somethin'?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." Tails said, pointing to Sonic.

"Oh joy." Sonic said meekly. Knuckles soon came up. He had on a plaid shirt, blue jeans, and blue canvas Nikes. Some of the spikes on top of his head were missing. Knuckles went to the fridge and got out a bottle of water.

"So, How's getting your promotion coming along?" Sonic said.

"Not so good, Jerry. It appears someone else wants to get promoted as well." Knuckles said.

"Who?" Amy asked.

"Gerry Stairman. He's been my rival ever since we had that fight over that corndog." Knuckles replied.

"That was in '91. Why don't you just let it go already?" Sonic asked.

"Why don't _he_ let it go already?" Knuckles shot back.

"It was obvious that he had it first." Amy said.

"Hey, when I'm hungry, you just _back _away!" Knuckles shouted.

"Well, sorry." Amy said, sarcastically.

"Hey, if you're hungry, you could try this Ice Food I came up with." Tails said.

"Ice Food?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah. Like Ice Cream, only food flavored. This one is hot dog." Tails explained.

"Oh yeah, lemme try." Knuckles said.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enters." Sonic muttered under his breath. Amy nudged him. Knuckles ate the ice cream and a smile came to hs lips.

"What? You like it?" Tails asked.

"Yeah! And you just gave me an idea!" Knuckles said, clapping his fingers.

"Wow! The product is not even out in stores and all ready I'm inspiring people." Tails said in awe.

"You know, the boss really likes his fishsticks and he has been in a bad mood lately because he has a toothache. You think maybe you could make some sort of Fishstick Ice Cream?" Knuckles asked hopefully.

"I'll see what I can do." Tails said.

"He knows not what he's done." Sonic muttered again, earning another nudging from Amy.

"This will definitely buy the Boss back into his good graces." Knuckles said, rubbing his hands together.

"Let's hope he doesn't wind up in the hospital first." Sonic said a little louder. Before anyone said anything, a knock at the door was heard. Sonic answered it. There stood Eggman in a mailman's uniform.

"Hello, Jerry." Eggman said in a dangerous voice.

"Hello, Newman." Sonic said in the same tone.

"Elaine, I have a package for you. You weren't in your apartment so..." Eggman said, holding up a package. Amy signed for it.

"Hey. This says it was sent on February of '97." Amy said, looking at the postage due date.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. This package was lost along with alot of other mail due to the...incident." Eggman said, sheepishly.

"So, it wasn't a mail truck accident?" Amy asked.

"No. I just didn't want to...er, have the heart to tell you." Eggman said.

"So, are there other documents that we haven't gotten from that time?" Amy asked.

"Yeah. I think your check from when you thought you didn't win the lottery is in here, too." Eggman said, showing her his mailbag.

"Get _out_!" Amy shouted as she pushed Eggman really hard, knocking him on his behind.

--

Sonic stood on a stage in front of an audience. Red curtains hung behind him.

"What's the deal with those little animals that comes out of the enemies when you step on them?" Sonic began. "I mean, I can never figure out what they are doing there. You're going through a level and come across one of those crab things or whatever and you step on them and then, a ghost or a rabbit or whatever comes out of there." The audience were getting a kick out of the set as they were laughing between every line. "Yeah. You don't find that strange? You know, maybe it was an unused idea. Yeah, maybe it was an abandoned summon feature that probably took up too much memory. Like, you could be fighting a hard boss and you press the x button and suddenly, a huge rabid rabbit comes out and takes half of the boss' health away. Or a bunch of ghosts comes and sucks the life out of him. You never know. And they couldn't just leave them out. No, so they just put them in other enemies, leaving the confusing question of 'what the heck are they doing in there?". Maybe now, that will teach those monsters not to fight on a full stomach." With one last burst of laughter from the audience, the show blacks out amid a line of snyth horn and bass and a smattering of mouth scatting.

--

Sonic smiled as he had the dream. He mumbled something in his sleep as he turned over, his fingers somehow hitting the remote's button. The channel changed to Comedy Central, where a quirky little show about the lives of four little boys in a quiet little mountain town was just about to began.

--

As a twangy little ditty played, a sign that read the words "South Park" was shown. The scene then changed to three youngsters waiting at the bus stop. Eggman, Tails, and a Chao were just standing there, looking very much like mini paper cutouts of themselves. Sonic then walked up.

"Hey guys." he said.

"Hey." they returned.

"So, how was your dentist appointment, Stan? Did they yank out the tooth?" Eggman teased his friend.

"No." Sonic said.

"Was there a lot of blood?" Eggman went on.

"No! They just gave me a filling. See?" Sonic opened his mouth to show them.

"Whoa!" the others replied.

"Did you ask for a gold filling?" Tails asked.

"Yeah, but my mom said that it was too expensive and I would look like a pimp." Sonic replied.

"Mmph rmph rmph mmph mmph rmph mmph." Chao said, an orange jacket covering his mouth.

"What th' heck, Kenny?" Sonic replied.

"Yeah. That's sick!" Tails added.

"Well, at least I don't have to risk getting an evil dentist." Eggman sneered.

"Not likely, Fat butt!" Sonic shot back. "You're gonna have to go see one today."

"Oh yeah? Who said?" Eggman asked.

"Don't you remember? For some weird reason, it's a law now that we must have a dental check-up at school once every two months!" Sonic explained.

"Aw man. The mayor's probably bored again." Tail scoffed.

"I heard that if the dentists doesn't show up for some reason, the teachers will have to do it and then if it's one that you've really made upset, you will be eating soup for the rest of your life." Eggman said, telling one of his stories.

"Nah un!" Sonic retorted.

"Yahn han! My friend told me and he had a friend who went through it." Eggman said.

"Rmph rmph mmph mmph rmph mmph rmph mmph!" Chao laughed.

"Ugh, Kenny!" Tails shouted.

"But that's why he's not the same anymore." Eggman stated. Just then, the bus pulled up and the doors opened. Rouge, as a certain crabby bus driver, sat at the wheel.

"Get on! We're runnin' late!" Rouge shouted, a fake bird resting on her head.

"Alright. Geez, you don't have to yell, you fat hog." Sonic muttered.

"What did you say?" Rouge yelled.

"I said...uh...I wonder if I look like Sonic the Hedgehog." Sonic covered up.

"Oh. Wow, you do have a great resemblance of him." Rouge said. The scene changed to show the front of South Park Elementary, a flag fluttering in the wind. Inside of the third grade class, the students were talking amongst themselves. Mr. Garrison walked to the front of the classroom, Mr. Hat firmly on his hand.

"Alright, children. Settle down and put your books away. It's time for your History tests." he told them.

"Aw man. I didn't study." Sonic said.

"I didn't either." Tails said. Suddenly, the intercom came on.

"Attention, students and staff. Please report down to the Gymnasium for your dental check-up." Amy, in the role of the Principle, announced over the speakers.

"Oh well, let's start getting ready." Mr. Garrison said. The students brightened up and let out a cheer. "But when we get back, we're taking the test." The cheers instantly stopped. Mr. Garrison lined up the students and took them down to the gym's entrance. "Alright, you kids wait right here. I'll be right back." Mr. Garrison said as he walked off.

"Where is he going?" Tails asked.

"You don't think he's going to get ready to do you know what, do you?" Eggman wondered.

"Are you still talking about that?" Sonic asked.

"You just better hope you don't get him as your dentist." Eggman warned.

"Hey, I see several other teachers going into that room over there. Maybe it _is_ true." Sonic said.

"See? Told you. Did you ever wonder why he wanted this day to come so fast?" Eggman asked.

"Have we really been that bad to him?" Tails wondered.

"Well, he seemed pretty upset that we put soap into his coffee and then laughed while he blew bubbles out of his mouth." Sonic said.

"Yeah, and he wasn't that happy to find out that we had sent the tape in to AFV." Tails added.

"Neither was I! We didn't win anything!" Eggman snapped.

"Rmph. Mmph mmph rmph mmph rmph rmph mmph mmph rmph rmph." Chao remembered.

"Oh, yeah." the others said disgustedly.

"That still burns my soul to this very day." Eggman lamented. At that time, the doors opened a man told them to step inside, which they did. Inside, rows of dentist chairs lined up the entire gym room in which the kids sat down in. Eggman sat in his and noticed the dentistry equipment next to the chair. He picked up the suction device and turned it on. He then put it up his nose.

"Hey, guys. With this, you'd never have to pick your nose with your fingers again." Eggman said as he moved it around his nostrils.

"Ew! Cartman! You put that in your mouth!" Tails told him.

"Ok." Eggman said and did so, much to the disgust of the others. (This scene was omitted in the original and I think you now know why.) One of the men from the ADA walked out into the middle of the row of chairs.

"Alright, everyone. The dentists are just now coming out so get ready to have nice and healthy teeth!" he told everyone. After a minute, the dentists, wearing masks and blue gowns, stepped out and went beside their chairs.

"Wait! Is that the shop teacher?" Sonic asked Tails.

"Yeah, and is that blood on his gown?" Tails asked in surprise.

"Eh! Stupid hot dog." the shop teacher muttered as he tried to get it off.

"Yeah. I know how you feel." Big the Cat said, playing a certain Chef.

"How?" the shop teacher asked.

"Never mind. You just ate." Big said.

"Alright, everyone? Began!" The ADA associate said.

"Now!" Eggman said then started trying to get away from the dentist.

"Get away from my teeth!" Tails shouted, trying to get away as well.

"Mmph rmph!" Chao shouted as he kicked the dentist that was working on him. Unfortunately, the same dentist held a needle full of Novocain, which fell out of his hands and onto Chao. The syringe emptied it's self into Chao, causing him to stiffen up and fall to the floor. The others so this and gasped.

"Oh my gosh! You killed Kenny!" Sonic shouted.

"You B-" Tails started.

--

Sonic shifted a little bit, his fingers hitting more buttons on the remote. The Tv switched to PBS, where a long running Britcom was just starting.

--

A soothing tune, comprised of an orchestra, Guitar, and Harmonica played as the camera panned over a beautiful picturesque countryside, filled with rolling hills. In these hills, laid three elderly men. These men were enjoying their retirement and were in their second childhood. They comforted themselves in the lush, green Yorkshire grass as they bundled themselves up and tried not to be blown away by the strong wind.

"Where do you think wind comes from?" Sonic, donned in a blue plastic mac and a flatcap, asked. "It's a question I always ask myself on a blustery day such as this. Recently, I've come up with two theories: either God's blowing on His soup to cool it off or a giant fan is on the maximum setting somewhere."

"You think maybe someone's had too many beans?" Tails asked, gripping a cane and a sun hat on his head. "Oh my, I've just been reminded of those dreadful days in the school's cafeteria when they would have baked beans. The ending result would usually be nearly like this. Only, the smell isn't like a Yorkshire countryside."

"I wouldn't be sure. On some days when the cows would come out, I bet it would remind of the good ol' days, mm?" Sonic joked.

"Well, all I know is it's too nippy out here." Knuckles complained as he tired to wrap himself in his tattered clothing.

"Well, I wouldn't be surprised. You have so many holes there, I'm surprised I don't hear a flute playing." Tails said.

"Look at the clouds. They have so many different shapes. It's amazing, isn't it? It's like...white, puffy blobs of clay molding themselves." Sonic mused. He pointed up to one of them. "See? That one looks like a Dog. And that one looks like Roger Moore."

"Roger Moore?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah. See? He has the gun and it looks like he's aiming it at somebody." Sonic added.

"It's looks more like Sean Connery aiming a gun at somebody." Tails said.

"Well, the wind must have shifted it because I could have sworn it looked like Roger Moore. Well, I mean, they're both agents so..." Sonic trailed off.

"I know who it looks like." Knuckles said.

"Who?" Tails asked.

"Nora Batty." Knuckles replied.

"Oh? Is it going to rain soon?" Sonic asked.

"I'm not kidding. That gun looks like a yardbrush. Ayup! Even the clouds have wrinkled stockings!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"I think Nora Batty with a yardbrush is just as lethal as 007 having a gun. She ought to be an agent herself." Sonic said.

"Why's that?" Tails asked.

"Because she has a license to kill." Sonic finished. They got up and the scene went to them walking up to Nora's house. "Um, I just remembered that I left the bathtub full. Don't want the tub to rust, do we?" Sonic said and started to leave but was stopped by Tails.

"Oh, come along, Clegg. She won't hurt us from down here." Tails tried to calm him down.

"Oh no. Not Nora. She can hurt you from anywhere." Sonic said, fear in his eyes. "You could be at home when all of a sudden, this pain in your rear just...comes up. You think 'where on earth could this pain be coming from?' and then you remember that it's Nora Batty and her long distance pain service!" It was at this time that Knuckles rang the door bell. A few seconds later, Rouge came out, curlers in her hair and in a housedress with a pinney.

"Oh, it's you lot." she said grumpily. "It's at times like this that I wish it were the Jehovah's Witnesses."

"Ayup! I was lookin' up at the clouds and I saw one that reminded me of you." Knuckles said, staring at Rouge lovingly.

"I get the same impression of you looking at a Donkey!" Rouge retorted.

"Aw, I'll take that as a compliment." Knuckles said, overtaken by his love for her.

"I bet Joan Crawford felt the same why." Sonic said, being hit over the head with Tails' hat as a result.

"What do you want? And _no, _you can't have a kiss!" Rouge shouted when Knuckles was about to say something.

"Well, then. There's nothing else to say." Knuckles said as he turned to leave. He then quickly turned back as started to hug Rouge,

"Oh! Keep away! Get away!" Rouge shouted. She brought up her yardbrush and started to hit Knuckles over the head with it. The three ran away and retreated to a more safety place. A somewhat safety place. Tails' house. The three arrived outside of the brownstone in front of the pond. They stopped in front of the front door as Tails turned his attention towards the others.

"Now, I realize that we have not been having luck with this door in the past but I assure you, today will be different!" Tails said proudly, motioning to his voice controlled door opening device, the Utterthwaite 8000. He positioned himself in front of the device while the other two made sure to stand way back. Tails cleared his throat and said the password. "Marjoritweet." he said loud and clear. The others looked at each other and mouthed the word in awe. Nothing happened, however, so Tails tried again. "Marjoritweet." No result. Tails kept trying, using different pitches and volumes. When the door remain closed, Tails groaned in disgust and hit the door with his cane. Suddenly, the door opened...and closed and opened over and over again. The men quickly went in one by one when the door opened. Knuckles went in last and the door hit him on the backside, there remaining closed.

Sonic and Knuckles walked into the living room, which looked more like a workshop, and made themselves comfortable in the very petite chairs that were there. Tails soon came in, donned in a black headmaster's gown.

"Gentlemen!" he proclaimed, "I have a new invention in the works!"

"Oh..." the other two said, already weary of what was to come. Tails ignored them and went to a table that had a sheet covering it. "Now, I have to admit that this required quite a bit of work on my part but the prototype came out just fine. Presenting!" Tails whipped off the sheet to reveal a single lightbulb. (Just know that the audience was howling at this.)

"A lightbulb?" Sonic asked.

"Ah. Not just any lightbulb. This is the Self Lightning Bulb!" Tails said proudly.

"Self Lightning Bulb?" Knuckles repeated.

"Correct! This lightbulb is the answer to all those high bills or cut off electricity. You see, you hold it in your hand like so and give the base a squeeze, like this, aaaand..." Tails squeezed the metal part of the bulb and it lit up by itself. The other two stared at it but soon closed their eyes from it's brightness.

"It works!" Sonic exclaimed.

"How the heck do you do that?" Knuckles asked.

"Ah, see, the secret here is that the heat from your body is absorbed into the metal, which was tinkled with by me." Tails explained.

"I think Edison would be jealous if he were here today. I can hear it now: 'Seymour,' he says, 'I think you are one smart chap. Why, you could make a...singing phonograph record next or a...telephone that dials it's self or a-' Yegods, listen to me! I'm giving him ideas." Sonic said as he covered his face.

"Er, Seymour? Let me have that for a bit." Knuckles said.

"Oh, we have our first tester..._you_!?" Tails exclaimed.

"No, Bill Owen. _Yes_, me!" Knuckles said.

"What for?" Tails asked.

"Nora Batty." both Sonic and Knuckles said. They looked at each other.

"I want to knock her off her feet with surprise when I pull this out of my pocket." Knuckles explained.

"I'm no conspiracy theorist but if Compo is the one actually volunteering to try out one of your inventions, the world may very well be ending today." Sonic said worriedly. The scene went back to the outside of Rouge's house. The three men went to the bottom of the steps.

"Hey, Seymour. I'm a little nervous." Knuckles said, fanning himself.

"As well as you should be. If you break it, you going to get a caning." Tails told him.

"Don't get sent to the office, Compo." Sonic told his friend.

"Alright. I'm ready!" Knuckles said and went up the stairs. He rang the doorbell and Rouge came out. His nervousness came back right away.

"What is it, now?" she said.

"Um..um...I was wondering if...if you..." Knuckles stammered.

"Well? Out with it!" Rouge shouted.

"I was wondering if you needed a light." Knuckles finally said as he held out the lightbulb, already lit. Rouge's eyes widened.

"How are you doing that?" Rouge said.

"Um..." Knuckles said, failing to notice that the lightbulb was getting brighter. Smoke started to come from it.

"What's going on?" Sonic asked.

"I forgot to mention that he shouldn't squeeze it too tightly or it will-" Tails started. His sentence was finished for him when the bulb exploded in Knuckles' hand, knocking him backwards off the steps.

"Well, it least it wasn't a complete waste of my time." Rouge said, somewhat interested.

"Well. I thought you wanted to knock Nora off of _her_ feet." Sonic laughed as they rushed over.

"You can't blame me for this one." Tails said.

"You made the invention." said a dazed Knuckles.

"I bet Edison will be looking for other clients after this." Sonic said. As the soothing theme played in the background, a faraway shot shows them helping Knuckles up as Rouge sweeps her steps.

--

Sonic mumbled something about "wanting a sticky bun" and rolled over again. The channel changed again to a home shopping channel: The Game Artifact Network. The lady was showing off various items used in the production of video games and anime.

--

Amy, as the Game Artifact Network host, sat at a table. Behind her, posters of various video game and anime characters were up on the wall behind her.

"And welcome to another hour of the Game Artifact Network. Where _you_ can own a piece of media history!" she giggled. "Let's start, shall we?" The first item was shown.

"For the first item, we have the actual Kokiri sword and Wooden shield that was used on the set, during the production of everyone's favorite game "The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time.". That's right! This was the sword and shield that Young Link used to fight off Moblins during the first half of the game. Now, I know that there were some really disappointed fans when they missed out on the auction of Adult Link's costume but now you have another change to own something from this epic game. The sword and shield are just like the ones in the game and due to the scenes in the game, there are some chips and wear on the items. Not to worry, they are still in good use. The item number is #7452458. Own a piece of gaming history!"

"This next item is...wow! Squall Leonhart's Gunblade as used in the production of "Final Fantasy VIII". That's right. This was the only one ever made and as you can see, he has been really careful with it so no others were made. This is seriously rare indeed. And it comes with bullets. Now remember, this is a sword with a gun's barrel and it's handle for the hilt. Truly unique, that's for sure. Anyway, if you were to put a bullet in the barrel, you can shoot it out just like in the game. Though, I wouldn't recommend doing it where other people are. This can also be very dangerous so be careful. And, not only does it come with everything you see here, it also comes with an autographed card. 'What's that, Amy?'. That's right. A plain white index card with Squall Leonhart's signature on it! The item number is #2456834. Own a piece of gaming history!"

"Next up, we have a Turtle Clan outfit worn by _the _Son Goku during the filming of the Saiya-jin saga, my favorite, by the way. Anyway, from the looks of it, this was used during a fight sequence because you can see the rips and tears that they had to put in it. There is also dirt on it so it must've been a rough battle. Maybe the one where he and Piccolo is fighting Raditz, I don't know. Anyway, the item number is #6324758. Own a piece of anime history!"

"Next, we have a set of prop Pokéballs. Now, when we got these in, we weren't exactly sure if these were from the game or the anime. However, when we saw this tab here that said 'March 2002-Ash', we knew it was from the anime .And what luck! These actually stored Ash Ketchem's Pokémon at one point. And they still are functioning. Won't this be a treat to your Pokémon? (Laughs) Anyway, the item number is #2364857. Own a piece of anime history!"

"This next item here is a pair of shoes worn by the blue blur himself, Sonic the Hedgehog." Amy announced this as the said item was shown.

"_What th-? Hey, Amy? Are those my shoes?_" Sonic asked from what sounded like the distance. His voice was faint and Amy seemed like she didn't hear him and went on.

"That's right. Sonic has worn these specially made shoes on the production of his latest video game." Amy went on.

"_Um, no. I was actually wearing them just now._" Sonic said.

"Sonic has kindly donated them to us so that his fans can be able to own something that he has worn." Amy went on, not hearing Sonic.

"_Huh? N-no, I didn't! I woke up and they were gone!_" Sonic yelled louder, still sounding faint.

"These high tech shoes were made to give Sonic an extra speed boost when he is running in his famous high speed." Amy said, smiling.

"_Yeah. That's why I wanna keep them. Amy!_" Sonic yelled.

"These shoes were in fact given, to us, just earlier today." Amy said, oblivious to Sonic's yelling.

"_Wow. You know, that's the exact same time that I had them snatched off my feet._" Sonic sarcastically said.

"That would make these shoes nearly new expect for a few scuffs on the soles." Amy said.

"_Come on, my feet are getting cold, Amy!_" Sonic shouted, really getting annoyed.

"So, if you are a Sonic fan or ya just want to own a piece of gaming history, the item number's #3254897 and don't miss out!" Amy finished and moved on to the next item.

"_No! Hey, wait! Don't go to the next item! I want my shoes, Amy! Oh hey, guys. Can you please tell this girl to...hey, what are you doing? No! Put me down! Stop! Put me down!_" Sonic screamed as he was being carried away by security.

--

Sonic tossed and turned and awoke with a start.

"Watch where you're grabbing me!" Sonic shouted as he woke up. He stopped and looked at his feet to find his shoes still there. It was all just a freaky dream. He then saw the Tv where the host was displaying a rare CD full of demos and early versions of Yuna's songs. Sonic sighed with relief.

"Well, I guess _that_ teaches me not to sleep with the TV on." he said. Sonic got up and yawned as he stretched, deciding that he would go sleep in his room. Turning the Tv to Fuse, he left the room. On the Tv was "Pants off Dance off" and Shadow, the black hedgehog, was the current dancer. As a fusion pop dance tune played in the background, Shadow started to dance. Another Shadow popped up from the right hand corner of the screen.

"Hi. I'm Shadow and when I'm not trying to get the master emerald, I like to dance." he said. He popped back down as the dancing Shadow started to remove his garments. After a minute, another Shadow popped up, this time in the left hand corner. "Sometimes, when I'm at parties, I like to crank my music up and just dance my pants off!" he said and went back down. At this time, the dancing Shadow was down to his boxers.

_Oh well. It will be censored._ Shadow thought, unbeknownst to him that it was now running _un_censored due to lots of fans asking. As Shadow removed his red boxers, the show faded out, seeing as this is only rated PG.

--

Phew! I have actually retyped this whole chapter! Golly! But I wanted to so that you readers could see what was originally supposed to be shown. Now, I tried to type it out by using a summery of the chapter I had typed for reference and by memory so things are either changed or new stuff was added. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, especially the requesters of this chapter. Now, to make sure that this ordeal never happens again, I will save it to the computer as well as the disk. And if anyone has any idea to recover floppy disk files from a disk that needs formatting, please let me know in a review or something. Thank you for your patience and 'till the next!

Jimmy James: Well, I'm glad you at least remembered the disclaimer.

Come on, man. People wanna leave now.

Jimmy James: I just wanted to tell you that.

I know, but people are going to fall asleep if this keeps up any longer.

Jimmy James: And aren't you doing this bit just to reach 20 pages.

(Gasp) Why, that's and awful thing to say!

Jimmy James: I don't know. It looks like you're trying to reach 20 pages.

No, I'm not

Jimmy James: I think you are.

No, I don't think so.

Jimmy James: Ok. So, You're just doing this just to write it.

Yeah.

Jimmy James: Wouldn't people complain about this?

I hope not. I would be a shame if all this went to waste.

Jimmy James: Come on, just admit it.

What's to admit? I'm just writing this.

Jimmy James: Look. You're at 20 pages.

I am. That's good. I hope I didn't bore anyone.

Jimmy James: But, what if it doesn't show up as 20 pease on the site?

Hmmm...then some people are now asleep.

Jimmy James: ...

Jimmy?

Jimmy James: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Whatever.

--

Notes and Trivia

NOTES:

-This episode was in production from November 21-23, 2007. The remake was re-edited May 7-10, 2008.

- This episode originally aired May 24, 2008.

-This was the longest episode the Author has written so far! In the remake, it's even longer. It may have something to do with the explanation he had put up at the episode's start.

-This episode is based on a spec script submitted by InuTaiyoukaiGalofDarkAndLight and Ultimate Female. Due to the fact that this episode was not able to air then, The Author sent in a request for another script. The other version is what they sent in.

-This episode was scheduled to air on 11-24-07 but was aired May due to technical problems. The Author is deeply sorry for the inconvenience.

-This section is in vein of and Neo Namco, who should start a trend in this.

- The Author wishes everyone a (now so late, why not wait 'till this one) Thanksgiving!

TRIVIA:

-This episode, in order to get a more authentic feel, allowed the Cast and Crew to fly to the locations used in the shows portrayed. They travelled to Yorkshire, South Park, Colorado, and used the sets and wardrobe with permission, of Seinfeld, South Park, Last of The Summer Wine, and Cheers (Which followed the Informercial segment).

-For the "South Park" segment, The real Eric Cartman was contacted to play as himself but seeing as he was booked with real South Park things, the part was given to Eggman at the last minute. However, they were able to cast Mr. Garrison as himself, even though he is now Ms. Garrison on the show. In the original version, the scene of Eggman and the suction device was omitted. It was restored in the remake.

-Originally, a "Cheers" segment was to follow the "Informercial" segment but was both cut for time. Originally, another ending was filmed to fit the said segment. The Author has reported that viewers would "see it soon enough".

-Originally, there was an item in the "Informercial" that The Author forgot so it was replaced with the prop Pokéballs.


	17. Golden's Uninteresting Adventure!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Greetings again, fellow readers, and welcome to another instalment of the interesting story with the rather bland name. I'd like to give thanks to those who have added me to their story alert lists and for their reviews.

Jimmy James: Alright, now that you've finished giving your acceptance speech, let's move on to the disclaimer now.

But-

Jimmy James: No. "I do not own..."...go ahead. Say it with me. "I do not own..."

But I said it last chapter.

Jimmy James: You have to keep letting them _know_, son. Now-

That's it. I'm sorry but you leave me no choice.

Jimmy James: Um, what-

Policeman: Mr. Jimmy James? You are under arrest. Anything you say...blah blah blah. I'm tired. Let's just go.

Jimmy James: Wait! You're arresting me?!

Nah, just kidding. Seriously, don't you think that by now the readers should know that I do not own any of the copyrighted characters that may appear in this story.

Jimmy James: Ah, Thank you. That wasn't so hard, now was it?

Uh-huh. Hey, look! There's Johnny Johnson!

Jimmy James: Where? _Where??_ I gotta get outta here!

Well, now. I guess the _both _of us was tricked, eh?

Jimmy James: Whatever. Now I need my pudding.

Hey, bring me one, too!

Jimmy James: No! _My _Pudding! MINE!!

--

Chapter 11: Golden's (Not So Adventurous) Adventure!!

Will He Find His Wand Before The World Ends?!

(A/N: The men featured in this chapter will be having a female companion. I've mention that because the aforementioned men, in real life, may actually have a wife. I am sorry for any historical inaccuracy that this chapter may bring. Randia: And that includes the other chapters he's written about them. Hey, stop interrupting my Author's Note!)

Golden stepped out of the Burrow and shut the door behind him. Seeing as he didn't have his wand with him. it was going to take an awfully long time to get to where he was going. He was going to have to take some detours. As Golden walked through the field, he took out his cell phone. He dialled a number and held it to his ear, waiting for the other end to pick up. They finally did.

"Hello?" came a female voice.

"Hey! Rose, lovey. Could you put The Doctor on for me, please?" Golden asked sweetly. It was silent on the other end for a minute before Rose came back.

"Sorry, he isn't here." Rose said.

"Hmm. That's strange. I thought I heard him tell you to tell me that he wasn't there." Golden said. There another silence and The Doctor was finally on the line.

"What is it?" the 10th doctor wearily said.

"Hey, I hope you're still not sore about what happened that day with the pop all over the console." Golden said sincerely.

"Oh no. It was no big deal, falling into the middle of a park full of people. Then, being mobbed nearly to death by said people who are...what did they say? 'Fans' of us." The Doctor said, trying not to sound too sarcastic.

"Well, if it would make you feel any better, it was that guy Ricky who knocked it out of my hand." Golden said.

"Micky! _Micky!_" came an annoyed voice from the background.

"Is-is this on speakerphone?" Golden asked.

"Look. We're really busy so could you please tell us what you need?" The Doctor said.

"Well, I would like to ask a favor of you. It seems as if I'm in lack of transportation. Do you think you would be as kind as to give me a lift?" Golden asked.

"...Alright. Hang on. Where are you?" The Doctor asked.

"Just outside the Burrow." Golden replied.

"Hey, that's the Weasley's place!" Rose exclaimed.

"Alright. Give us a minute." The Doctor sighed. He hung up and Golden shut his cellular and put it away. A couple minutes later, the familiar sound of the TARDED...TARDIS landing started to resonate throughout the air. The blue police box soon started to fade in until it was completely there. The doors opened and The Doctor came out, followed by Mickey and Rose.

"Oh, wow! That's a tall building." Rose mused at the unusual shape of the house.

"You're lucky I still came after you made that joke about the TARDED...Dangit. _TARDIS!_" The Doctor slipped up. Mickey just cracked up. Pretty soon, they all got on board.

"New rule: No drinks are to be consumed near the console. Drink it way over there." The Doctor instructed as he started setting the ordinates on the console. Golden nodded. "So, where we headed?"

"To the park." Golden simply said. "Don't worry, it's not the same park." Golden quickly added when he saw them raising their brows at him.

"What's the name?" The Doctor asked.

"Peaker Park." Golden replied.

"That's the same park." The Doctor said. "Whatever, but we're landing in an alley." With that, the TARDIS started to shake back and forth. Golden forgot all about that and was upside down in the corner of the room by the end of the ride.

"Whee..." Golden said sarcastically.

"Well, here we are." The Doctor said. Golden got up and dusted him self off.

"I thank you very much." Golden said. He said his goodbyes and left the box into a dark alley. It made the noise again as it faded out. The only thing left was a few pieces of paper flying by. "That will always be cool, no matter how many times he does it." Golden commented. Golden walked down the alley and made us way out into a busy street.

_That weird,_ Golden thought, _This doesn't look like Philadelphia._ Lockhart looked around while searching for a park. He did find one but it was not the one where his wand might have been. He looked up at the sign at the entrance. It read "Peeker Park". Well, no wonder. They had misunderstood what Golden had said. Oh well. Now he had to find out where he was. Golden walked up to a building called the "Rivans Building". Maybe he could ask for directions while bothering some people at the same time. When Golden went in, he saw the security guard at the front desk asleep with his feet on the desk. Golden snuck pass and went into an elevator. "Man, _any_one could walk in here." Golden said as the elevator doors closed. He thought he had got a glance of a man wearing a hockey mask holding a bloody Chainsaw coming into the building. "Nah" Golden thought as he randomly pressed the buttons 24. The elevator moved up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and up and-

"Wow, that_ is_ annoying. Oh well." Golden said. The elevator soon stopped and Golden walked out. He made his way into what seemed like a news station. Golden remembered what this place was: Globelink News (A/N: Just for the sake of this episode, they are in a building on the 24th floor). They operated from London so that was one part of the clue solved. Golden instantly started to search for the station's editor, George Dent. He was basically the only one he knew there. Not to mention the fact that his daughter, Deborah, use to hang out with Randia (One of Golden's original characters).

Golden went to the editing room but no one was there. Golden then went to find George's office but that proved difficult (Being that this was the first time he's ever been there). Golden found one of the news anchors, Henry Davenport, and asked him if George was there.

"Yes, he is." Henry said. "Why?"

"Um, I just wanted to speak to him." Golden replied.

"Oh, so you want to 'speak' to him, eh?" Henry asked suspiciously.

"Did someone try to assassinate him or something?" Golden asked.

"Well...sort of. You see, we had did this story that angered some people..." Henry started to explain.

"Right! And I'm _still_ gonna be tee'ed off about it until he gets his!" Gus Hedges, chief executive of the station fumed. "Here. I'll take you." Gus roughly grabbed Golden by the arm and practically dragged him to George's office. He knocked on the door and George answered.

"Well, I thought _you_ were dead." George said surprised. He stopped and looked at Gus with a scared look.

"Fine!" Gus shouted and stormed away, forgetting to use a crazy cliché that he was good for. Golden walked into the office as George closed the door.

"Where have _you_ been?" George asked as he motioned for Golden to sit in a chair in front of his desk and then sat on the desk next to him.

"Well, I've never actually _been_ here before and you stopped bringing Deborah over. You know, because of that incident?" Golden explained.

"Oh, right." George remembered. Long story short, even the policemen were crying. "You've never been here before, have you?"

"Nope. This is my first time here." Golden replied.

"Well, would you like a tour?" George asked.

"Thanks, but right now I have somewhere to go." Golden said. He then remembered something. Globelink went of the air in 1998 so this must have been a few years before. "Hey. What year is this?" Golden asked.

"1994." George replied. That confirmed Golden suspicions. In retrospect, he should have told the Doctor where he wanted to go exactly. "So, is there a reason you wanted to see me?" asked George.

"I would like to catch up on old times but right now, I need to get to philly in the 1700's." Golden explained. George's eyebrows raised and he got up to go into his desk. He then brought out a weird looking lolly.

"I guess there would some use for this thing." George said.

"What's that?" Golden asked.

"This is a 'time travailing' lolly that some weird street corner shop guy gave me. When I turned to asked him what it did exactly, he was gone." George explained. "Anyway, I think you might need it." he gave it to Golden, who held it by the stick. It looked like a clock with the numbers on it's face. Numbers one through four were missing.

"Thanks." Golden said as he stashed it away.

"Hey, you're welcome." George said. Golden got up and went towards the door. "You're coming back again, right?" George asked.

"Yeah. I actually found this place by mistake." Golden said and opened the door. Gus stumbled in and looked around.

"Um..." Gus started then ran out. Golden then left the building and went back into the alley. He took the lolly out of the wrapper and put it in his mouth. _Mmmm. Cherry. _Golden thought as he was suddenly whisked off of his feet and throw into a vortex of swirling colors. When they had disappeared, Golden found himself in a vast lot.

"Where am I?" Golden asked himself. He looked around at the place. Birds flew past over head...wait. Those weren't birds. Those were Pterodactyls! He was currently in the Jurassic era! "Cool!" he exclaimed as he walked around. A volcano bubbled nearby as Golden spotted a couple of raptors fighting over a piece of carcass. Golden was too busy looking around that he tripped over something and fell into...a nest? Golden looked around at the huge Dinosaur eggs. He then realized something: Where there were eggs, the mother would be nearby.

Golden's eyes widened when he heard that roar. The owner of that roar came stomping up to the nest. _Now would be a great time to have that wand. _Golden thought. _Wait a minute. If I had that wand in the first place, I wouldn't be hear, now would I?_ Golden had no more time to think because the mother T-Rex glared down at him. He prepared to be made a snack and start writing stories from inside it's belly when it brought down it's head next to him.

"What you din' in my nest?" the Dinosaur asked.

"Huh?" Golden said.

"I said why are you in my children's nest? You could have broken the eggs 'cause between you and me..." the T-Rex lowered it's voice to nearly a whisper. "It's hard enough trying to make _one_ egg nowadays. These boys are so stubborn."

"Uh...yeah. I guess." Golden stammered as he climbed out of the nest. He tried to act like talking to a dinosaur who talked back was normal. Then again, the only place that would happen was if it was in a Completely Pointless and Plotless Fanfiction Ever! Oh, or if it was Barney...(ahem) Anyway, the T-Rex looked Golden up and down.

"You...uh, one of them future folks?" the Dino asked.

"Yeah. I was going to another time and winded up here." Golden explained.

"Well, you might wanna cut the sight seeing short. The other dinos here are...Well, let me put it this way. They're hungry for exotic dishes." the T-Rex explained.

"Ah, thank you. I was just about to leave. I have no interest in becoming "Golden roasted...Golden." Golden said. He and the T-Rex soon said soon said their goodbyes and Golden took out his Time Lolly (A/N: Hey. The Legend of Lockhart and The Lollipop of Time. Ok, lemme stop.). He looked at it more closely. The five on the clock's face was gone. It appears that the lolly had 7 more licks before it was...just a lolly. "Clever." Golden said before putting it in his mouth. That swirling feeling came to him again as he was in the vortex of color. Golden's feet found the ground...or rather a carpeted floor.

Golden looked around and realized right away that this was an office. No. This was The Office. No, this was The Office of a paper plant-

"Paper plant." giggled a heavyset man in accounting.

...Anyway, This was The Office of a paper plant called-

"Dunder Mifflin." said the receptionist, just receiving a phone call. That's right. Pam has received a phone call and is talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talk-

"No! No no no no no NO!" Shouted Dwight. "No! You are not welcome here!"

"Isn't he that guy that gave Michael that beep...thingy?" Jim coolly said.

"Yeah, and isn't he the guy who..." Creed started. Pretty soon, everyone joined in with their own complaint that started with "Isn't he that guy who...". This went on until The Regional Manager (That what she said) walked out of his office.

"HEY!" shouted Michael Scott at the top of his lungs. Everyone froze in an absurd position.

"My...hamstring..." moaned Kevin.

"Hey! Get your hand out of there!" Angela shouted.

"Sorry." Oscar said as he removed his hand from the M&Ms jar.

"Now..." Michael said as he surveyed his staff members. "Who stole my joke?" Everyone instantly pointed to Golden, who meekly waved.

"Actually, that joke's been around for a while. Why, I recall in an episode of Family Guy when-"

"Uh-huh. What are you doing here?" Michael cut in. "What? You haven't tortured us enough with your bad writing?"

"Oooh. You shouldn't say that. He'll-" Kevin started.

"Um, actually. It's ok. He's just giving his opinion." Golden said, still a little ticked.

"Yeah. Hey, I'll give another one. You know what you're typing now? It just says dahgagnagbagahgaitgoa!" Michael kept on.

"Actually, I can see it just fine." Pam said.

"Yeah. Me too." Stanley said.

"Hey, Michael." Golden asked.

"Yeah?" Michael replied.

" BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP " came the censor beep from heck. Everyone instantly started to groan in agitation and cry, especially on Toby's part.

"You know, you actually pass Toby in irritation levels. Actually, you two are, like, related to each other." Michael said, when the beep went away. "Hey, Toby. Your long lost relative is here."

"No, he's not." Toby said.

"Um, actually. I would like to stay and chat but I need to be heading on." Golden said.

"Michael's right. You suck when it comes to writing." Dwight said.

"Well, no one's perfect, Dwighty." Golden said.

"'Dwighty'?" Dwight mouthed to himself.

"He's gonna do somethin'" Kevin said.

"No, I'm not." Golden said and headed out.

"...And don't steal my joke! Stealing is bad! Right, Angela?" Michael asked the accountant.

"Actually, you stole it from someone else." Angela reminded him. Michael just stood there and went back into his office and slammed the door. A minute later, Michael came back out again.

"Who stole my lunch?"

--

Golden ate the rest of a sandwich and threw the bag in the trash.

"And now, for the dessert." Golden declared as he put the lolly into his mouth. The vortex happened again and Golden found himself in another studio. "Wow. Besides winding up in the Jurassic era, This sucker has taken me to lots of workplaces." Golden said to himself as he looked around. This time, he instantly knew where he was. The channel 4 logo gave it away.

"Good evening. I'm Ron Boogerdy and here's what happening in your weird tonight." Ron _Burgun_dy said, opening the 6 o' clock evening news. Someone must have tampered with the TelePrompTer.

"I guess I'm in the 1970's." Golden mused.

"Actually, this is 1981." Brian Fantana said as he went through his his papers.

"Sparkly clothes!" Brick shouted while pointing at Golden's cape.

"Yes. They're sparkly." Golden told Brick slowly.

"Hey. Don't talk to him like that. He's not a baby." Champ said.

"Am too!" Brick said, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Um, hey. Excuse me. When the lead anchor does the news, no one talks." Ron said. "Ugh. Could...could you edit that part out?" he asked the cameramen.

"Um...we're live. Just keep going." one of them told him.

"This is gonna cut into your weather, Brick." Ron told him.

"Ok." Brick said, still not knowing what he was saying.

"Hey, you needa leave, man." Garth came out of nowhere and told Golden.

"Fine. This is wasting time." Golden said. He got in front of the camera, licked the lolly, and disappeared in the vortex.

"Umm..." Ron said.

"Ron. Ron. Don't cut into my weather time 'cause they really need to know that sort of information." Brick smartly told him.

--

Golden landed in the middle of a park. When he collected himself, he looked around at the people who were dressed in frills and knickers. He had finally made it there to the 1700's. Golden started to search through this park, seeing the founding fathers no where in site. "Oh no, what if this was another park in the 1700's?" Golden asked himself.

"It isn't." came a voice from behind him.

"Huh?" Golden said and turned around. An old woman, who looked really wise, walked up to him.

"This is the correct destination. Are you Golden Lockhart?" the woman asked.

"Um...yeah?" replied Golden, a little weirded out. Hey, you would be, too, if some old lady just randomly walked up to you and you've never really seen her before.

"Am I to understand that you are looking for an individual by the name of Lyman Halls?" the elderly woman asked.

"Yeah." Golden said.

"Well, that person...is over there." she said and she pointed over to a nearby bench. Golden followed her finger to see Ben, Lyman, Roger, and Robert sitting there, each having a beautiful female companion.

"Yep. That's them. Thanks a lot." Golden said, turning around to face her. But she was gone. Golden stood there for a minute and shrugged. "Huh. Wonder how she knew about that?" Golden walked over to the bench. The men there were getting acquainted with their women. You know, the giggling, the sweet talking, the works.

"Good afternoon all!" Golden cheerfully greeted them.

"Good afternoon." they returned.

"So, I see the new clothes have snagged the interest of a few ladies." Golden slyly said, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes, it seems so." Roger said.

"Thank you again. I mean, even though a few people are staring at our new clothing, it's still very good." Ben said, his lady draped over his shoulder like a shawl of some sort.

"Oh, you are most very welcome!" Golden said. He then turned to Lyman. "Say, Mr. Halls?"

"Ye-" Lyman started but was cut off from the woman he has putting her hand playfully across his mouth. He moved it. "Yes?'

"Is there any chance that you might still have my wand with you?" Golden asked.

"Your...wand?" Lyman asked.

"Oh, don't you remember? You took it from me a few chapters back?" Golden tried to jog his memory.

"...OH! Just give me a second..." Lyman searched his pockets. "I thought I had-" Again, he was cut short by his woman putting her hand over his mouth. "Come on now. Stop." Lyman said smiling as he once again moved her hand. She giggled. "Um...I'm afraid I don't have it with me. It's probably still at the hall."

"Ok. No biggie. I'll check there." Golden said. He waved goodbye to them and walked there, seeing as it wasn't faraway. Golden reached the hall and decided to go check the back yard. It still had the remnants of that morning's battle. Golden chuckled to himself and went to go look for his wand. He didn't have to look too far for it was on a table near the front. Golden ran up to it and picked up his cherry wood with hair from the Eternal Dragon itself.

"Wow. No wonder no wizard can do without this thing." Golden said. "Then again, you would go through all sorts of adventures even without it...and I should know. Huh? Hey, what's this?" Golden put his wand back into his pocket and picked up a note that laid next to it. He opened it and read it.

"_Dear Who Ever You Are,_

_I am writing this to apoligize for the behavior that I exhibited earlier. I am usually much more calmer then that. You see, I've had a particularly bad day and me getting shoved into that barrel was the straw that broke the camel's back. Anyway, if you could ever forgive me, thank you._

_Sincerely Lyman Halls."_

Golden turned around to see the writer of the letter standing behind him. "Oh, so it _wasn't _just a just a sweet voice inside my head." Golden quipped. Lyman smiled.

"Yes. I have just come back to get our hats." Lyman went upstairs and came back with a few hats in his hand. He was nearly out the door when Golden stopped him.

"Um...Mr. Halls?" Golden asked.

"Yes?" Lyman said, turning around to face him.

"You're forgiven." Golden said. One would swear that this was a scene straight out of a sappy movie. Lyman smiled again.

"Thank you." he said and left. Golden waited until most of the readers vomited their lungs out and then he whipped out his wand.

"Well, I guess it's time to see if I could manage using the Apparatus charm without cutting myself into pieces. Here goes! Apparatus!" Golden shouted the spell and waved his wand. He disappeared into thin air amid a loud _CRACK! _He had did it. Nothing was there...well, except a bit off the bottom of his robe.

--

And there you go. My, not so adventurous, adventure. You may leave your reviews and requests in...the review box. I will not mind flames seeing as...(moves back to show a furnace with a very small flame in it) we need them to go into this furnace to help warm us up.

Ash: Hey, guys? I think my ear just fell off.

Misty: Ash, what the heck?

Brock: 'What the heck' is right. It's nearly summer. I can hear an ice cream truck right now.

Misty: Well, no one knew that until _you_ said something.

Well, it could've fooled _me _seeing as it's been so cold lately. Fine. Then how about...(the furnace turns into a Barbecue with hot dogs and burgers and what not on it.)

Ash: Oh yeah! Seriously, my ear?

Misty: Ash, that's just a fake ear...oh, wait. No it isn't...

Um, let's end this now. See you guys later!

--

NOTES:

-This episode was in production June 2-4, 2008.

-This episode originally aired June 5, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-This episode comprised of the final part of the untitled chapter 6 of the manuscript.

-Lots of new material not in the script was added. Originally, Golden leaves the Burrow saying who he forgot Lyman had his wand and that he had to go all the way to the park to get it. He asks if they could "fast forward it to where he was there already.". Added was his trek through the different Tv universes in order to make the episode a little longer.

-The Time Lolly was a plastic prop, which was switched every time Golden licked it.

-There was a scene in George's office in which Golden asked him if he had any new illnesses. George then remarked he had but would prefer not to talk about it. Golden notices him not being able to sit down properly.


	18. The People

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

'Ello 'ello. Welcome to another chapter of the interesting Fanfiction with the rather drab title. Let's go.

Jimmy James: Oh, son. Come on. Just say it. Just say the dang disclaimer, alright?

They already know, Mr. James. They know.

Jimmy James: They know what?

They know that I don't own any of the copyrighted characters in this story.

Jimmy James: Thank you.

Ok, that's it. Where's my paddle?

--

Chapter 12: More Bush Area Talk!!  
"The People" Gives Out Beatings?!

Ash and his friends, as well as Team Rocket, sat around the heavily bushed area conversing as usual. The sun shined down on them as they were reflecting on when they had shot their first movie. A lot had went on indeed during the two and a half month shoot.

"...An' den, afta da brunt o' de cold went away, I couldn't speak." Meowth said, remembering when somewhere during the production he had came down with a strange case of an illness. When the worse part was over, Meowth was stricken with laryngitis. Thankfully, by the time the looping sessions came around his voice was back. Meowth had to mime his lines on set so that he could dub them in.

"Yeah." Ash said. "I dunno. It's like...I didn't even know that our show would have that much attention to the point where they would actually make a _movie_ out of it, you know? I remember joking with someone sometime towards the start that maybe a Pokémon movie would be made sometime. The guy just laughed."

"12 years later..." James added. They laughed. The joke was that about 12 movies have come out since then and no one could have known that back then. The show could've been cancelled before then, as far as they were concerned.

"Seriously, that was an interesting experience. Shooting that _and_ the second movie." Misty added.

"And we all know what happened after the third movie. It's a wonder we're still doing this what with all the changes and stuff." Brock said.

"I know. It's like they're even taking longer to write the scripts and stuff. It's just seriously screwed up." Jessie said.

"And notice the amount of CGI they are putting into the episodes. I know it's, like, today's method of film or whatever but this is why we're kind of behind in stuff." James added.

"And, not to mention 'The People' coming along. Hey, can anyone tell me exactly what happened when they came in and took over? 'Cause, I was still gone at that time and no one's really told me anything." Brock asked. James looked interested as well.

"Well, like you said before, the old people had to leave due to layoffs. The layoffs happened because apparently they did something to someone associated to 'The People' that they didn't like." Misty explained. "And then, I remember there being this huge argument between an old executive and a new one. Then, on Monday we came in to find 'them' there."

"Hmmm. 'Cause I came in on Thursday of that same week and it was weird. Everyone was yelling at each other. There was a lot of hostility." Brock said. Everyone remembered that crazy time. At one point, they thought that it was the end of the show. Somehow, they had gotten used to it...to an extent.

"So, from what Misty just said, the old execs teed off the new ones so they get back at us by firing the old ones. But then, who gave them the layoffs? Only the owners of Nintendo or whoever's allowed to do that." Jessie stated.

"I heard dat dey bribed da Nintendo people." Meowth said.

"Remember? Someone else tried to do the same thing in order to get a game or whatever there and you saw what happened to him." James said.

"Oh yeah. Poor dude from Sonic." Meowth lamented.

"One thing about Nintendo is that they would overreact at stuff. They didn't _really_ have to carry him out like that with four security guards." Jessie said.

"That's probably why the old execs aren't there anymore." Brock said. "They must have been scared and didn't wanna be dragged in it or the new people _really_ wanted our franchise."

"I _did _hear something about that but that's just a rumor." Misty said.

"I remember us being in their office like 'What the heck is going on?' and, like, Mario was up in there. Link. That Fox guy." Ash said.

"Yeah. They were filming Melee at the time, I believe." Brock said.

"And the Tv Tokyo Suits were mad, too. See, they probably heard about 'The People' as well so they were really worried and upset and they had a right to be, too. I mean, look what happened not too long after that. Our schedules were wacked up. They're taking their sweet time writing the scripts. _And_ don't forget us stopping filming at unseemly hours." Ash continued.

"Man. In 1999, that's when a lot of good stuff was going on. I remember always chatting with Serena at lunch about what would go on on the set and I heard a lot of drama was going on on the Detention! set. I forgot half of what she said but I miss that time." Misty reminisced.

"Yeah. Me and Ash used to play Frisbee with Agents Jay and Kay. Then, we would go on each others sets and...dude, I'm tearing up." Brock said. He was (like yours truly) quite the nostalgia head.

"You know what I really wanna forget? When the air conditioners 'broke'," Jessie said, making quotation marks with her fingers.

"Now dat was freaky an' me havin' fur didn't help." Meowth complained.

"Didn't you say I fell out that day?" James asked.

"Yeah. You an' dis otha guy from da crew. Now, you were just sittin' down, goin' ova your lines when it happened but dis odder guy was not so lucky. He was walkin' somewhere and just _plop_!" Meowth explained.

"On his _face!_" Jessie exclaimed.

"I know we were up in their office with other cast members who apparently had the same problem. And then what they said really hacked us off. Get this. 'Well, now you know not to run those things like that just because it's 'a little hot'!'. DUH! It was more than 'a little hot'! That's why you _have_ an air conditioner to keep from passing out all of the sudden and falling flat on your face during the heck hot days of summer!" Ash complained.

"Yeah, right. They just cut them off so that they wouldn't use up energy. They can be crazy sometimes. I was glad when fall rolled around." Misty said.

"The heaters used to suck, too. We're in the middle of a scene and an icicle nearly impales Pikachu." Ash said.

"Pika... [Heck yeah]..." the yellow mouse Pokémon said. It was at this time when Brock's cell rang. He answered it.

"Yo. Rock Brock." the said person greeted the caller. After talking to the caller for a few minutes, he hung up. "Maaaaan..." he said.

"What?" Misty asked.

"They got to Tracy, man." Brock complained.

"What?" asked Ash in disbelief.

"Yeah. He said that he tried to call to the old executives on the phone last night and he actually got through." Brock said.

"Seriously?" Jessie asked.

"Yeah. And the guy gave him an address, which Tracy texted to me right away...wait...I didn't check my messages last night..." Brock pressed a few buttons on his phone and brought it up. "Yeah. Here it is. This must be where the guy lives." Brock handed to the phone to Misty.

"Oh, good. We can go here to get the answers we need." she said, passing the phone around.

"Anyway, so sometime this morning, Tracy was going to the store and then they came out of an alley and jumped on him. They must've been on the line or something. He just called from home and they must have did him real bad 'cause he said he had a black eye and a sprained ankle." Brock finished.

"See? This is _another_ reason why we need to stop them!" Misty said.

"Did you hear what happened to Max two weeks ago? He got it. And I heard they broke into Proffessor Oak's lab in broad daylight just to get _him_. Then they tried to get me but I got away." Jessie said.

"When?!" James asked shocked.

"It was sometime last month. Me and some friends were hanging out at the mall one Saturday. So, we're walking out to the theater when we see them walking towards us. So I'm like 'Oh no! It's them!' so we start running to my car and they start running after us. So we pile in and start speeding down the street from them. Luckily, they weren't chasing us or anything. And that the cops were too drunk to notice us." Jessie explained.

"Alright, here's what we can do. Later on today, we go over to that guy's house and see if we can put together an alliance of some sort." Ash said.

"Someone needs to go help Tracy, though." Misty said concerned.

"Someone is. This guy named Dwight." Brock said.

"Man. I got into it with him over the last copy of 'Half Blood Prince'. Remember at that Borders when we almost were arrested?" Ash said.

"That was crazy. You mean the guy with the curly hair?" Misty asked.

"And the glasses. Yeah." Ash finished. "He was the one dressed in the stupid looking wizard robe."

--

Dwight was putting on a compress made of beet oil on Tracy's eye when he suddenly sneezed.

"What is this you're putting on my eye again?" Tracy asked unsure.

"I think you mean 'Bless you'?" Dwight said, not knowing he was being insulted.

--

"Seriously, we need to do something before someone either gets seriously hurt or even killed." Misty said.

"Heck, it would not surprise me at all if they do that as hostile as _they_ are." Ash interjected.

"And how the heck are they gonna _shorten_ our lunch hours, man?" Brock complained.

"Wait. What?" James asked.

"Oh that's right, ya'll didn't hear about that. Ok, well, there was this memo going around and I happened to see it and it said something about effective immediately, lunch will be shortened by 15 minutes." Brock explained.

"What the heck? Our lunch was already short enough. It used to be an hour thirty minutes and then they changed it to an hour. Now it's just some forty-five minutes?" Jessie griped.

"Yeah, I mean, it's fun doing the show but that was our way to relax, you know?" James added.

"Right, and apparently the excuse they're using for this is that 'we can get more film recorded and the episodes aired faster'." Brock said.

"We were doing _just _fine before they came along, thank you very much." Misty said.

"It was easier in the beginning, It's just plain and simple." Ash said. The gang just sat there silently in the sun, a light breeze blowing over them. It definitely was different from when they started. There were time when one actor would come in by themselves, shoot just their close-up shots and go home. Nowadays, it was considered lucky to have a photo shoot what with everything going on behind the scenes.

"So, what time do we go over there?" Misty asked Ash.

"Maybe sometime this afternoon. First, I gotta go stop by Ren's house and drop off his video game." Ash said.

"How was it?" Jessie asked.

"Man. You really needa play it. It's like Kingdom Hearts only with an NBC skin." Ash said of the RPG "NBC: The Peacock Pendent". It about a teenaged boy who gets sucked into his TV and has to go through different NBC Tv show worlds in order to collect the pieces of the Peacock Pendent (I have seriously written up something, like, a summary of sorts about it. Now, I really didn't have any intention of posting it up but maybe if you really want to see it and you ask nice enough in you reviews...ahem, I digress.).

"The part I liked was when you have to keep the audience members away from Jay Leno." Brock said.

"I like the part where you go to Dunder Mifflin and fight Dwight as the boss." James said.

"Yeah. I heard there might be a sequel." Brock said.

"Good. Maybe they could add some of the older shows like 'I Dream of Jeannie' or something like that." Ash said. The gang chatted some more until Ash asked Brock the time. "Eh, what time is it?"

"Um...3:14." Brock answered while looking at his cell phone.

"When is this thing over? I gotta go 'release some Pokémon into the wild'." Ash said, earning disgusted looks from others.

"Eeew, Ash." Misty groaned.

"Hey, I have a surefire way to end this." Jessie said. She went over to James. "Hey, remember that tape you sent me when you went off to England so I wouldn't be so alone?" she asked seductively.

"Oh yeah. You mean the one where I was just in my Boxers?" James returned in an equal tone of voice.

Alright, Alright. I get the hint. First, it's time to do something random.

--

"Mushroom Pizza Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey." Mr. James said outloud, earning stares from his staff.

--

Ok, _now _we can end this before I have to raise rating. Oh yeah. Hey, thanks, Mikol! The bondfire you made for us is even better then the grill. Here, have a Burger!

"I think I found my ear, ya'll!" Ash called out.

"Thank you, Ash. We're eating." Misty said, trying to eat her Shish Kabob.

"We're due at the studio for our music video shoot. Come on, James and Meowth." Jessie said as the three Rocket members left.

Well, as always, read and review. This was the CPPFE and I'll see ya real soon.

"Boy, get your...80's cartoon ending soundin'..." Misty trailed off as she took a bite of her sausage.

--

NOTES:

-This episode was in production from July 2-4 and then from July 20-23, 2008. In the middle of filming, the cast and crew went on vacation, explaining the huge gap.

-This episode originally aired on July 24, 2008.

TRIVIA:

-This episode was not based on the manuscript. It was written to give more information on "The People".

-In The Author's stories, Team Rocket is a music group in which they've released several hits over the years. More infomation will be given in a future installment.

-The Author would like to thank Mikol in reviewing this story.


	19. Breakfast With The Weasleys!

The Completely Pointless, Plotless, Fanfiction Ever!

And we're back after a long while to bring you another chapter of the interesting story with the rather boring name. Alright, let's get this mess rockin'....what's this? I got a package....let's see...Oh, it's a cassette tape. What's on it, I wonder? Let's find out. Hit it!

Jimmy James: (from the speakers) Hello. I see what you were trying to do. Wait a while so that I would forget. Well, I think you ought to know that Jimmy James never forgets. I have a brain that's like a supercomputer that remembers everything.

Dave Nelson: (from speakers as well) Yeah, except our bonuses.

Jimmy James: (Frustrated) _Dave_, why do you always- (tape ends)

....Oooook. Anyway, let's start. If you want the disclaimer. It's in the first chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13: Breakfast With The Weasleys!!  
A Fight Over Bacon?!

The sun slowly rose up into the sky as the baby birds were getting their breakfast from their mothers. A light morning wind blew through the rippling grass, drying any dew that had accumulated in it overnight. This grass belonged to a lawn. The lawn belonged to a house. This house was The Burrow. Inside, the family was just settling down to getting breakfast from _their_ mother (or wife, in Arthur's case). As Mrs. Weasley was busy making the food, the children were conversing among each other. Harry Potter was there as well for the first time. I'm sure you know of the story: Flying car, escape from the Dursley's, etc.

"So, Harry." Ron started. "What did you think of the last few episodes of 'And All the Leaves Come Tumbling Down'?"

"They only made me loathe Amanda even more. If these episodes doesn't show her true brat, I don't know what will." Harry replied. The show they were discussing was a soap opera of sorts. It was long running (like most soaps are), made with men and women in mind and not mention, it was popular in the Muggle world as well as the Wizard world.

"Wait, try to recap what happened. I sorta missed some shows." Ginny asked, leaning in.

"Ok. So, we all know Billy had a thing for her despite her major bratiness. He loved her so much that he actually took her in when her house burned down because she had her alcohol burner on." Harry began. Ginny raised her eyebrows but kept quiet.

"Yeah, and then, she saw what seemed like him talking to another woman at a bowling alley but she didn't say anything. Two weeks later, she shows her true colours when she let's it get to her to the point where she actually kicks Billy out of his own house!" Ron finished. Ginny's eyebrows could have meshed with her hairline.

"Wow." she said simply.

"This is almost like the time she didn't want to confront Sheila so she gets her cousin who, unbeknownst to her, had joined the Mafia during that episode before his actor's break." Percy said.

"He came back?" Fred asked. He watched it from time to time but not as much as the others. He did remember that character, though. Some of his episodes were interesting.

"Yeah. Last fall." Ron replied.

"Yeah, and he knew Amanda didn't want anything to do with the mob so he didn't tell her. So when she asked him to come do something about Sheila, he forgot that he was supposed to keep it under control and had a van full of his guys cart her off. Amanda still doesn't know about it." Percy explained.

"Man, that sounds like an interesting programme." George said.

"Yes it is. Why aren't you watching it?" Ron asked. Before George could answer, Mrs. Weasley banged her wand on the cauldron, signifying that the food was coming. Everyone jumped back as plates of food started flying onto the table. In a frenzy display of colours, shapes, numbers, farm animals, and...things, the table was covered with a very wide, not to mention huge, spread.

"Well, let's eat! Let's sit and sup! Let's tuck in! Let's-" Mrs. Weasley announced but then noticed that others had already started eating so she sat down and joined in....what's that you ask? What did they have? Well, they had Porridge, Bacon, Capers, Kippers, Eggs, Toast, Cereal for the sugar needy, and (insert breakfast food here).

"Mmmm. These Bangers taste _just_ like sausages!" Harry moaned in euphoria.

"That's becuase it _is_, ya ninny." Ron muttered. Everyone instantly started to laugh. They probably would've kept laughing had not Mr. Weasley come in.

"Morning Weasleys!" he said cheerfully.

"Mmmmm mmmm!" they all said, their mouths full. Luckily, Arthur was fluent in the Mumble Language so he understood that.

"Mmmmm mmmm mmm?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Oh. It was a busy night. Not only did we have nine raids but this one chap wouldn't let me have any cheese with my lunch so I picked him up and I spanked him....yes, that's right. I spanked him and I spanked him." Mr. Weasley put his leg up in a chair and started whacking the thigh to emphasise his point.

"Mmmm mmm mmm mmm mm mmmmm?" Mrs. Weasley asked, tilting her head sideways.

"No. He didn't give it to me but he did give me what was called a piece of Cheese." Mr. Weasley stood there thoughtfully and then sat down, not before rubbing his smarting thigh.

"Well, we're here so let's eat...or finish eating!" Mrs. Weasley announced, somehow swallowing that large amount of food in one gulp. So they ate. And they ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and ate and-

"Stop." Mr. Weasley said. Just the power of the word alone caused it to stop. The family conversed among each other while shovelling food into their mouths until Ron looked behind Mr. Weasley, eyebrows raised.

"Um, Dad?" he asked.

"What is it?" Mr. Weasley answered.

"You might want to turn around." Ron said, still looking behind him.

"Why? So you can take something off my plate?" Mr. Weasley asked, smirking.

"Um...no." Ron quickly lied, eyeing the juicy piece of sausage that sat on the edge of his plate.

"Actually, you _really_ might want to turn around, dear." Mrs. Weasley said.

"It's not a trick. Honest." George said calmly.

"No. No no no no. I'm not gonna do it. Nope." Mr. Weasley shook his head as he covered his plate. When it came to food, and especially after a long night at work, he counted.

"Well, ok but he has a sword." Fred added. Mr. Weasley laughed a little.

"What? _Who_ has a sword?" he asked, this time looking behind him to face the pointed end of a huge blade. "Oh my..." he said in a small voice as his face paled. The sword's tip plunged downward towards his face...actually past as it speared a baked potato on his plate. Everyone watched as the wielder of the sword brought it up to his mouth and took a bite.

"How did you get in?" Mrs. Weasley asked of the visitor.

"Through the door just like everyone else here." the person said, smiling.

"Hello, Golden. Lovely morning, isn't it?" Mr. Weasley greeted him as he reached over to grab another baked potato.

"Thanks for ruining the mystery, Arty." Golden said, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry 'bout that." Arthur said and then looked at the sword that Golden held in his hand. "Um...where did you get that sword?"

"I found it on the front lawn somewhere." Golden answered. Mr. Weasley sighed.

"I _told_ Percy to get rid of that thing. Uh...can you let go of it?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"Ok...um...what the heck?" Golden said as he found the sword stuck firmly to the palm of his hand.

"It's a cursed sword. You'll need a benediction charm." Mrs. Weasley stated.

"Hmmm. I guess that explains the burning sensation I'm feeling right now." Golden said while observing the black hilt that seemed to have melded with his flesh.

"Here. Bring it over here." Mr. Weasley said. Golden brought his hand over to him, giving a little too much force to the hilt. Now, what would happen if you were to whip a sword around while forgetting that there's a baked potato at the end of it? Correct. It would fly off and smack someone in their face. You get a cookie. So, that's what it did. The potato flew straight at Mrs. Weasley.

"Waaaaaaaaaattttccccchhhhh oooooouuuuuuutttttt!" everyone said in slow motion. Mrs. Weasley acted fast (which is kinda hard to do in slow motion) by whipping out her wand and hitting the flying tator with a stop charm. As soon as it hit the floor, everything went back to normal.

"Why did you cast Slomous on us, Fred?" Ginny asked annoyed. Fred just shrugged as Arthur used Benedictia on the hilt of the sword. Almost instantly, the sword fall to the floor with a clang.

"Ah. That's much better." Golden said, rubbing his hand. They had conjured up another chair next to Arthur for Golden to sit in. Golden really wanted to sit next to Harry (his idol) but he guess Arthur wanted to have a chat with him.

"So," Arthur said as his wife put a very loaded plate of food in front of Golden. "Are you going to come in with me tonight?"

"I don't know." Golden said, starting on his eggs.

"Oh come on." Arthur said, nudging Golden on his arm. "I think this would be a perfect opportunity for a young wizard like you."

"I would but right now, I have other things that are on my mind." Golden said, thinking about the fate of his Pink Panther Movies.

"Well...All right." Arthur said. "Listen. Just come to visit us one day. Maybe you'll change your mind?"

"Sure. I actually need to have a word with Corny." Golden said as he ate a bit of sausage.

"Uh..I bet you're wondering about the lack of bacon on your plate. I have to cook some more. Sorry." Mrs. Weasley apologised. Golden nodded but still felt a little disturbed. How can you have Eggs without any Bacon. That's just crazy, man! Golden felt his eyes moving over to Arthur's plate. He could see those delicious, golden brown, crispy strips just sitting there going "Golden! Eat us! We are only worthy for _your_ stomach only!". Arthur must have noticed Golden staring at his plate.

"Get your own." Arthur said automatically.

"You heard them. They said that they were worthy for _my_ stomach only!" Golden retorted.

"What?" Mr. Wealsey asked, frowning a little bit.

"Never mind." Golden muttered and finished his food. That Bacon still haunted him in the back of his mind. Not taking it anymore, Golden swiftly reached over for Arthur's Bacon, only to have his hand slapped away.

"Molly? Are you going to be cooking anymore Bacon?" Arthur asked. She nodded but didn't seem to be in any hurry.

"Now then, don't you think you should _share_ some of that with your bestest fweind in da whole woirld?" Golden asked in an annoyingly sick voice. Several people at the table rolled their eyes.

"Well, I _was_ going to but then you had to use that voice so no." Arthur said, giving a little smirk.

"Why not just admit that there's none left?" Golden asked Mrs. Weasley.

"Ok. There's none left." Mrs. Weasley said, finishing her porridge.

"Why not ask any of them to share their Bacon?" Arthur asked, gesturing to the other Weasley's and the Potter. At once, they all seemed to shove what remaining Bacon they had left on their plates into their mouths.

"Geez Cheez! Is Bacon _that_ popular around here?!" Golden exclaimed.

"I dunno." Mr. Weasley said as he popped the final piece of Bacon into his mouth, almost mockingly. Golden just shrugged and finished his food. A little later on, everyone had finished and was clearing up. Golden thought to take this time to cause a little mischief and had come up with perfect names like "Mr. Measley and Mrs. Peasley" but decided not to break up the happy time everyone seemed to be having and went to go help them (See? I _do_ have a conscience, I just don't acknowledge it as much as I should.). After that, they all decided to go out for a little bit to enjoy the beautiful day. As Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat in lawn chairs watching the others play around, Golden thought that this was time to be heading off.

"Well, 's time I set off!" Golden cheerfully said.

"Hey. Will you ever meet this 'Egg' fellow again?" Arthur asked.

"Something tells me I might." Golden said, a slight smile on his face and apparated out. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat there for a moment until Mrs. Weasley asked:

"Will I _ever_ be able to understand what you men talk about?". Mr. Weasley shrugged and watched Ron and the others play a game of "Muggles".

* * *

Well, _that_ one's in the bag. Do you realize that I had started work on this chapter about late last year and I'm just now finishing it?! The reason for this is that the only way of putting this and other stories up has been scrapped in favor of Flash Drives. Now, that would be perfect had a USB port been put onto this computer from 1992 and had I processed the flash drive itself. Because of this, I wasn't in any hurry to finish this. I think I'll type up a few chapters and have them ready for when I can post them up. Until then, you're going to have to wait.

Joe Garelli: But aren't they reading it now?

Oh, that's right. Well, then please be so kind as to leave your comments and requests after the tone.....Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

Joe Garelli: Dude.

Just a second..... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-!

Joe Garelli: Whatever man...

* * *

NOTES:

-This episode started production somewhere in late 2008. A vacation was taken and filming resumed on June 4, 2009.

-This episode originally aired February 16, 2010, as part of a "Double Double Bill" Special that aired two new episodes that were produced during the haitus.

TRIVIA:

-Originally, according to the manuscript, the subject of The Author's plans came up and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were more annoyed about it.

-A scene was shot that had Mr. and Mrs. Weasley on their knees, balancing bowls and plates on their outstretched arms while under the influence of laughing gas. That has been excised for pacing reasons.

-An alternate version of the potato scene was shot. It doesn't head for Mrs. Weasley but instead goes for Mr. Weasley and actually hits it's target.

-In the manuscript, a sequence that involved Professor Quirrell losing his Turban was featured in this chapter. The Author has decided to feature this in a Gaiden Chapter.

* * *

By the way, c'mon, fellas! Just one more month until HP6 graces our screens!

(This statement is no longer valid seeing as it is now out and I have seen it three times.)


	20. The Crane and The Moons!

The Completely Pointless Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Aaaaand welcome back to another chapter of the interesting story with the rather drab-

Jimmy James: I give up, son.

Yeah, just interrupt me right in the middle of the thing.

Jimmy James: I give up. I know you won't say the disclaimer. I know you like getting sued so I won't bother anymore, ok?

Er, thanks? Anyway, I have yet to see someone be sued over a Fanfiction. Oh, fine. I'll say it just one more time so you can leave. I do not own _any_ of the Copyrighted Characters in this feature. The only characters I _do_ own are the ones that I've come up with.

Jimmy James: Thanks. I gotta stop hangin' around here anyway. I can't leave Matthew alone with them anymore. He seems to be upset about something and he's taking it out on the others.

Was it a pastry or something?

Jimmy James: What?

Never mind. Anyway, let's get on with it!

* * *

Chapter 14: The Crane and The Moons!!  
This is Not of Chinese Legend?!

Harold Moon sat on the couch in the living room of Niles Crane's apartment, The Montana. He had decided to stay with his wife, Gertrude, for a little bit to keep an eye on her. Their daughter, Daphne, has already complained about her giving Niles dirty looks and once, swore she saw her brandishing a kitchen knife towards him. Daphne thought it would be best to let Harold know right away since he seemed to keep her under control. As Harold scanned down the stocks, Gertrude came running in excitedly.

"Harold! Guess what!" Gertrude said, her eyes shifty. Harold looked up.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I've just heard that Daphne is pregnant! And they're not even married. Oh, it's a real shame. We thought our Daughter knew better then to have sex before being married." Gertrude said, coming up with a lie in order to get rid of Niles once and for all. Harold rolled his eyes.

"Gert. Please. We've been over this. Stop trying to find an excuse for them to split up. Look, I know you wanted her to go out with Quentien but she chose the one that she gave her heart to. The one that she knows will always be-" Harold gently started to say when his wife cut him off.

"Alright. Alright. But maybe we ought to still keep our eyes on him, eh?" Gertrude asked.

"I just wish you would stop it." Harold said a little more firmly. Gertrude threw her arms up and left. Harold went back to his paper. "Now, that's the _fifth_ time she has done that." he muttered to himself.

* * *

"Ha! Ya! Ha! Hmm! Gotcha!" went Frasier.

"Ow! Eee! Ohh! Ha! Uuuugh!" screamed Bill McNeel as he fell to the floor of WNYX's office.

"Winner!" shouted an announcer.

"Roz, who's our next caller?" Frasier quipped as he did a little pose.

The view zoomed in from a Tv screen to show that the above exchange came from Niles playing a video game on an XBOX360. Daphne came into the room and sat on the bed next to him.

"Did Frederick let you borrow his game?" Daphne asked in her British accent. Niles paused the game and looked at her.

"Yeah. It took a bit of candy but here it is." he said. He went back to the game where he was currently fighting Sam Malone.

"Is that Frasier?? Which game is this?" she asked, surprised to see her boss on the tv screen showing off a rather cool fighting technique. Niles picked up the box to show her. It had a collage of different NBC characters smiling, posing, etc. Over that was the title of the game.

"This is "NBC: Must Beat Tv" (A/N: That's all I could come up with. If anyone has a better idea for a name, please let me know, mm'kay?)." said Niles as he struggled through fighting Dennis Finch. "Basically, it's a fighting game where characters from different NBC shows...fight each other."

"Like Marvel vs. Capcom?" asked Daphne.

"More like Super Smash Brothers Melee." replied Niles. (A/N: Love ya if ya get that little joke there.)

"Who's all in there?" Daphne asked. Niles decided to go to the menu screen since Dennis had beat him. As a festive song using the NBC chime started, the main menu came up. The background of the screen showed two large NBC Peacock logos sitting in the top-left and bottom-right corners of the screen as they rotated in a clockwise motion. The options were:

_**Story Mode **_(Play as each character and go through different scenarios. Earn money, too!)

_**Practice Mode **_(Learn how to use each character and master Jerry's weird fighting style!)

_**VS. Mode **_(Battle it out with your friends or have the computer fight itself!)

_**30 Rock Mode **_(Who can fight their way to the top of the tower through different battles?!)

_**Gift Shop **_(Buy Costumes and Accessories using the money you earn!)

_**Options**_ (Game Settings, Sound, Save, Load. You can even change the voices to Japanese!)

Niles moved the cursor to practice mode and pressed A. A Peacock logo sat in the middle of the screen with the word "Loading" under it. A jazzy song started as the Character Select screen appeared. Four characters from the shows Cheers, Frasier, Friends, NewsRadio, Just Shoot Me, and Sienfeld were there (who they were are completely up to the reader).

"I see you, Frasier, Martin, and Roz." Daphne said as she looked at the faces on the screen.

"I'm sorry they didn't put in the game. I mean, you are a main character." Niles apologised.

"Actually, I'm glad I'm not there. I have a much better idea for my video game debut." Daphne said.

"Like what?" Niles asked curiously.

* * *

Daphne was laying on a hotel bed, a loose bathrobe over her. Suddenly, an ominous person came bursting out of the closet, a huge and sharp knife clutched in their hands. The scene switched to Daphne laying on the bed. The person at the controller moved the control stick, making her get up. Daphne reached under the bed and pulled out a similar sized blade on an elastic chain (Not quite like Kratos' at all). Before the attacker could close in on her, the user pressed A to make her swing the blade around. Pressing B, X, and Y would make her do combos with the blade. One was her wrapping the blade's chain around the attacker's neck and dragging them to her before jabbing the blade into their stomach. Soon, the battle was finished and Daphne surveyed the area. The copious amount of blood covered nearly the entire room, even her bathrobe. The wall had many slashes mark cut into it from the flailing swords. This was a janitor's worse nightmare. Daphne had decided to leave the place before someone came up to wonder what all of that racket was. She slipped off her bathrobe, leaving her in nothing but her underwear and went out the window. The heavy rain would wash the blood off.

* * *

As Daphne looked satisfied, Niles wondered what was her idea.

"Oh, uh. Nothing that great. Just a...racing game." she lied. Niles knew that wasn't the truth seeing as she didn't play racing games.

"Well,_ My_ idea for a video game would be..." Niles said as he tried to think.

* * *

Daphne was laying on a hotel bed, a loose bathrobe over her. Suddenly, Niles came walking out of the closet, a huge smile on his face. Daphne looked up and smiled as Niles moved closer to her.

* * *

**The Following Scene Has Been Excised Due To Too Many Similarities To The Infamous "Hot Coffee" Scene From The Video Game "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas". **

**We Are Sorry For The Inconvenience.**

**Pervert! You Get To Watch It!**

**Dangit! Can't You See I'm-**

* * *

"Actually, mine isn't worth mentioning either." Niles said, his eyes shifting from left to right. They played through more of the video game and then decided to put another on in. This one was titled "NBC: The Peacock Pendent". It was in the same vein of the Kingdom Hearts games (go to different worlds based on Disney movies, only in this case worlds based on NBC programs) only you access the worlds from 30 Rock, the first world you visit. Niles was currently in the world of Just Shoot Me as he tried to fight Dennis but having tough luck at it.

"Wow. He's hard in every game." Daphne mused.

"Please. This one's easier. Earlier, though, when you fight Newman? Yikes!" Niles exclaimed as the main character on the game, Kujaku, nearly dodged one of Finch's attacks.

"What other games does he have?" Daphne asked. Niles paused the game and took out a case full of Trevor's games.

"Let's see. Frasier Hit and Run, Soul Calibur 2, 3, and 4, Just Shoot Me: Finch's Fantasies, Kingdom Hearts 1, 2, and Re. Chain of Memories, Final Fantasy X, X-2, and XII, and BBC Fighters 4." Niles read the names of the games.

"'BBC Fighters?'" Daphne asked, picking up the game's case. The cover had a creame color and the logo sat over a kick-butt line drawing of Captain Peacock hauling a kick at the First Doctor, who is blocking it with his arm. This was another fighting game. Seeing as it used the engine from Dead or Alive 4, it had the same fast paced fighting, motion blur, and realistic graphics. Not only did it contain nearly the whole cast of shows such as Keeping Up Appearances, As Time Goes By, Fawlty Towers, Last Of The Summer Wine, 'Allo 'Allo, Monty Python, Are You Being Served, Red Drawf and Ballykissangel, this new instalment introduced characters of Eastenders, and Coronation Street into the fray. The most praised addiction to the series, however, were the inclusion of all Ten Doctors from Doctor Who.

"I haven't played that one yet." Niles said, having to start over but this time, trying a new method at defeating the hard boss. The game was on Easy mode.

"After this, I challenge you." Daphne said, plopping the game onto Niles' lap. He paused the game and looked up. The look on her face was unmistakable. She wanted a challenge. That look reminded him of when Maris had once challenged Niles to a Toy Sailboat race. Only thing was that Niles never won because he had to blow Maris' sailboat for her. You know. Her lungs couldn't summon up the power to blow even a candle out. Anyway, Niles decided to just switch the other game off and put "BBC Fighters 4" in. He handed Daphne the other controller and turned the system back on. The company logos went by and then a CG cutscene featuring characters from different British programs showing off their moves started to play. One part showed the TARDIS zooming up to the screen as it's doors opened to show all Ten Doctors surrounding the console. Pretty soon, it went to the title screen with a British announcer proclaiming the title of the game. Niles pressed start and the main menu came up. He went to VS. Mode and went to the character select screen. As Daphne scrolled through the many people there, Niles started to think about how competitive Daphne could be at times and the consequences of not letting her win.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Harold was still with his nose buried into the newspaper. He was now able to tell the difference between the American newspaper and the British newspaper... which was not that much. The murders and horrible stuff like that was the same. Only the terms they use and the currency signs were different. At this time, Gertrude came rushing back into the room, the shifty eyed look again about her.

"You know, I'd think you'd be..weary about those two being up there...all alone...with the door closed." she said, sitting on the couch's arm.

"Gert, please." Harold sighed wearily, "What do you think Daphne would say if she finds that you can't even trust her?" Gertrude started to look a little ashamed. "Besides, I'm sure they know that there's a time and place for everything."

* * *

Niles and Daphne had decided to just ditch the game and started to make out passionately on the bed.

* * *

"Well, if you're sure." Gertrude slowly said.

"I'm sure." Harold said gently. Gertrude left Harold alone to his paper. After a few minutes, the doorbell rang. Harold got up and answered the door. Golden walked in.

"How do, Mr. Moon?" he greeted cheerily.

"Hello." Harold returned. He closed the door and sat back down.

"How's your wife?" Golden asked, knowing full well they shouldn't even be together right now. coughAUcough.

"Oh, she's fine." Harold said, going back to his paper. Golden looked towards the stairs for a little bit then back to Harold. He was there to play a few rounds of BBC Fighters 4 with them but decided to bother him for a bit (Just as well. Niles and Daphne were playing a "game" of their own at the moment). Golden shrugged, went to the back of the couch, and started to read over Harold's shoulder.

"Hmm....oh, now that's a deal! They say you can get a Wii _and_ a PS3 for just $80. Hmm, looks like a sham." Golden said suspiciously. Harold looked back, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Um, not to be rude but I really don't like it when ya read over my shoulder like that." Harold told Golden. He understood. This probably stemmed from Gertrude doing the same thing to him all the time.

"Sure. Are you gonna read the comics, though? Could I have them?" Golden asked. Harold handed him the funny pages and went back to reading the headlines. Golden started to read the comics. "....Heheheheh....Dang......hahahahahahahah! ......(Gasp) Ha!.....Oh, wow....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ahem!" Harold cleared his throat. Golden looked up from the paper.

"Oh, wow. Sorry!" Golden apologised.

"Yeah, y'know. I'm tryin' to.." Harold gestured to the paper. For a few more minutes, they read in silence. Golden finished before Harold and waited until he was finished. When he was, Golden remembered his mission.

"Hey, Mr. Moon? How would you like to help me keep my Pink Panther DVDs?" Golden asked.

"What's goin' on?" Harold asked, casting aside the paper.

"Well..." Golden started to tell more of Eggman's plan but seeing as he doesn't want to reveal more of it yet to the audience, we go on another conveniently placed tangent...

* * *

An exterior shot of the Griffin's household was shown as a jazzy ditty played in the background. Next, an interior shot of the whole family on the couch came up.

"He's here, Peter." Lois whispered to her husband. The father of three looked up and saw the author, even though it was shot from the audience's (Golden's) point of view.

"Oh, heeeey, buddy! We got just the stuff for ya!" Peter cheerfully said.

"Hey, everyone. Now, I'll only be here for a while but I think we have time for a few cutaway gags." came the voice, who was a big fan of the show.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll love this!" Peter said.

"Y'know, I was watching Law & Order last night and I have to say, the fanservice is getting out of hand." Brian started the joke.

"Yeah, like when Chris Noth got stuck in that Trash Can." Stewie said. This led to live-action footage of Mike Logan and Lennie Briscoe chasing a perp through an alleyway. Suddenly, Logan tripped over a tall metal trash can and got firmly wedged in it.

"Oh, wait! Wait!" Logan shouted, hoping that Lennie had noticed his ordeal. Luckily, Briscoe did see what happened and was now laughing his butt off.

"Are you ok?" Lennie said between laughs.

"It's not funny, ok? Can you get me out of here? The guy's getting away!" Mike shouted, his voice muffled by the can.

"Try to wiggle your way outta there." Lennie instructed his partner.

"Ok." said Logan as he started to wave his legs around and wiggle his backside. At the time, the camera zoomed in on that said backside. "It's not working."

"Well, try harder!" said Briscoe. The behind that was filling the screen started to wiggle even faster. The scene went back to the living room.

"Man, did that clip wind up on Youtube the next day! And over a thousand hits in the first two hours it was up!" Brian said.

"Wait, was this a new episode?" the author asked.

"Yeah." answered Brian.

"And what year is this."

"2009."

"So, wait. If it's 2009 then how are both Chris Noth and Jerry Orbach still on the show?"

"Uh...what do you mean?"

"Well, Mr. Noth left the show in 1995, coming back just for that Tv Movie, Exiled: A Law & Order Movie. He then starred on Law & Order: Criminal Intent for a while then quit. Mr. Orbach passed away in 2004 so it's in no way possible."

"Well, there's only one way it is."

"What?"

"You're the one writing this."

"Oh." This exchange led to laughter from everyone. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to head back. Bye, everyone."

"Bye!" went the Griffin family. As the author left, Peter had only one question:

"They had a movie?"

* * *

Harold couldn't believe what he heard. In fact, when he heard the word "Eggman", he couldn't help but laugh. Golden had to convince him this was indeed what was going on. It helped that he included Eggman's statement about "Horseradish".

"Well, tell ya what, I'll see what I can do." Harold told Golden. Golden thanked him and went upstairs to the guest room.

* * *

A bowling ball sat on top of a crushed XBOX 360, Niles and Daphne staring at the wreck wistfully.

"Well, what can I say? I did hit the shelf with my foot." Daphne said quietly.

"Well, I did cause your foot to do that." Niles returned. A couple of knocks on the door caused them to jump up. As Niles moved the bowling ball aside and put an unused pillowcase over the wrecked game, Daphne opened the door and heaved a huge sigh of relief when she saw Golden there.

"So, who's ready to kick my butt in Street Fighter 4?" said Golden, who couldn't really play it to save his life (A/N: I _can _play it but it's not like an expert, that's for sure). Niles and Daphne exchanged looks. "Lemme guess, we _can't_ play today?"

"More or less." went Niles as he removed the pillowcase. Golden walked up to get a better look.

"Eeeerrr." he went as he saw the nearly bent double console. He then saw the bowling ball nearby and got the hint. "I'm no detective but from the looks of it, the bowling ball must have fell from that weak shelf and landed hard onto the game."

"That's the short of it." Daphne said, Niles nodding.

"Now, does anyone know how it happened? Did someone bump into the shelf?" Golden asked.

"She did." Niles said, quickly pointing to Daphne, who glared back, blushing nonetheless.

"Tell me something, Daphne. Did Niles cause you to bump into the shelf?" Golden asked, not knowing what he was talking about. He sorta got the idea when the two did nothing but blushed like tomatoes. Golden decided to just drop it. "Tellyawhat..." he started, sound much like William Shatner in his much loved role as...Denny Crane. "I can fix it."

"How? It's probably way beyond compare." Niles said, gesturing to the console.

"Well, I'll show you. Kindly put the pillowcase back over the game, please." Golden asked. Niles perplexedly put the pillowcase over the XBOX 360. "So, I'll do this for free this time and next time..I'll do it for free next time, too...but the time after that'll cost ya. Ok! Remove the pillowcase, please!" Golden exclaimed. Niles removed it to see the console just how it was just before the accident. He and Daphne sighed in big relief, still a bit confused.

"How did you do that?" Daphne asked in awe.

"Well, seeing as I am the author, I just typed in that the game was ok and...it was!" Golden explained.

"Thank you very much!" Niles said, glad to have adverted Freddy's wrath.

"Anytime!" Golden said, taking a little bow. "Now let's play a game!". So, they played a bit of SF4 and then a bit of SC4 (That's Soul Calibur 4, not Space Channel 4.) and Golden started to play BBCF 4 (Wow, lot's of 4s!) while Daphne and Niles went off to another room (Probably to finish their "Game".).

* * *

Harold was watching a soap opera on TV when he heard Golden coming down the stairs. He picked up the remote to change the channel but just threw it back down, the show too interesting to give up on.

"Well, I'm off!" Golden cheerfully said.

"Alright, there ya go." Harold said, pointing to two pairs of shoes sitting by the couch. Golden stashed them into his "Inventory".

"Thanks a lot." Golden said, "Inspector Clouseau will be very grateful. By the way, wasn't it stupid how Amanda kicked Bill out of his own house?!"

"Yeah and how she tried to call the police just because he was trying to get back into his own house!" Harold added.

"Are you watching soap operas in there?!" came a playful voice from the kitchen.

"I think you better go." Harold said, not wanting to put Golden in the ribbing he would get later on. Golden nodded, said his goodbyes and left. As Harold walked back to the couch, he thought of the word "Eggman" again and started to laugh.

* * *

Golden put on a couple of oven mitts, open the oven door and took out a huge Pot Roast, complete with cut up potatoes.

"Mmm...That's the good stuff. All thanks to 'Mama Luigi's Pot Roast In-A-Box'!" Golden exclaimed as he held up the box. On it, Luigi, the green capped plumber, held up a plate of a Pot Roast Dinner. He wore a gray wig and blue grandma dress. Oh wait, that _is_ Mama Luigi! They look so much alike! Anyway, Golden put the box aside and fixed him a plate. He took it to his room so he could watch 30 Rock while having supper. He turned on the Tv and sounds of the show could be heard as Golden stuffed his face. The scene stayed like this until Golden realized something.

"Oh! I forgot to end this thing!"

And he did.

* * *

Well, that's another one finished. Finally. Seriously, I must have started this chapter sometime in the summertime and here it is winter. It might be sometime next year until you can see this. Either way, I hope you've enjoyed this. I really wanted to finish this because I had a wonderful idea for the next chapter. 'Till the next!

* * *

Notes & Trivia

NOTES:

-This episode started production in Summer 2009. A set fire caused production to be halted until September 2009. The filming finally wrapped in December 2009.

-This episode originally aired February 16, 2010. It aired during a "Double Double Bill" Special that aired two new episodes produced during the haitus.

TRIVIA:

-This episode was adapted from Chapter 9 of the manuscript.

-Several scenes in the original manuscript were rewritten and altered. Originally, Niles and Daphne were playing the original XBOX. On it, was a game called "Frasier: Hit and Run". One scene showed Daphne beating up Frasier in his apartment, Ala' a fighting game.

-Another scene shows Niles playing as Daphne's father. In the game, Harold is looking for his wife and goes outside. He starts to get shot at and Daphne starts to panic, forgetting this was a game. Niles reminds her that this is just a game.

-When Golden visits the house, it was solely to annoy Harold, not to play video games. The tangent scene is completely new. Original, Golden just magically sends the shoes to the pile (not a sack as in the final version) and Harold starts to chase him, causing himself to faint.

-Another altered scene was the XBOX being crushed. Originally, the bowling ball did smash the console but it was from Niles playing with it. Golden fixes it, like in the final version, but leaves in a puff of smoke, commenting about his Pot Roast.

-An additional scene showed Harold coming to and vowing revenge on Golden.

-The scene of Golden eating pot roast is different from the final version, as well.


	21. Music 1: Harry's Wedding Concert!

The Completely Pointless, Plotless Fanfiction Ever!

Greetings one and all! If you still remember me, that's good. If not, then allow me to offer you this apology. I would have posted sooner and more often if not for these following reasons: Laziness, Lack Of Resources, and Lack Of Motivation (also known as Laziness). However, an idea for a Music Chapter came to me the other day and I'd thought I'd share it with you. So, here it is, the first ever Music Chapter for this feature. I just want to remind everyone that any songs that is featured in this and the following chapters are owned by the respective Songwriters. With that, Enjoy!

Music Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lives Live!  
Harry's Wedding Concert!

("Jam" by Michael Jackson)

The sun set lower and lower in the sky as it gradually became a darker blue, making way for the moon. The crickets took this as a cue to come out and fill the air with a soothing, almost musical sound. However, this sound was being drowned out by a much louder sound of celebrating and lively music coming from a nearby tent. In this tent, which was connected to the Burrow, was a whole congregation of Wizards and Witches alike. They were all celebrating Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour's wedding. The wedding was very lavish, the color scheme almost that of a pastel quality. The crowd had just settled down from a rousing jig played by a famous Wizard DJ who can summon any musical style with just a flick of his wand. Harry Potter had decided attended this party, not before having reservations about going a little early on. There was discussion of him having a bit of Polyjuice Potion and maybe go as a cousin of Ron's but in the end, he decided to suck it up and just wave with a smile on his face if someone were to notice him. However, he found himself calmer than he thought we would be. In fact, he was having a good time! He was currently sitting at a table with his two friends, Ron and Hermione.

"Blimey, Harry. You look like you just took a dose of Felix Felicis." Ron commented, his face full of tart.

"You didn't, did you?" Hermione questioned Harry, giving him the look she gets when she scolds them.

"No. Honest." Harry simply said. At this moment, he felt a content feeling that one wouldn't get from Liquid Luck, like everything was alright. Harry looked around and noticed that even though this was to be a joyous occasion, people were still looking as if they were stressed out and that the Wedding was not enough of a distraction from the current events of the Wizard World.

"This won't do." Said Harry, "This should be a happy moment. Why are they going around like it's a funeral or something?"

"Sorry, Mate. The gloomy faces go with the times, I'm afraid." Ron said, giving a shrug as he popped another finger tart into his mouth.

"Ron's right." Hermione added, "I hate to be so negative but you can't help but be depressed when you hear about all these deaths almost every day. And how are you as happy as you are when You-Know-Who is chasing after you?"

"Easy. I just go with it." Harry simply said.

"'Go with it'?" Ron and Hermione repeated in unison.

"Yeah, it's very simple." Harry answered smiling. The other two watched as he got up and went over to the Wizard DJ, whispering something to him.

"What's he doing?" Ron asked and no sooner had he posed the question when the lights suddenly went out, amid a chorus of murmurs. Suddenly, a synth drum beat sounded out, followed by the sound of glass breaking, which startled a few people. And then came Harry counting down in an oddly serious fashion.

_1, 2, 3…Jam!_

The lights flared back on but were now a deep blue as a Synth drum sequence began to play. The crowd watching were completely mystified at the sight of Harry Potter suddenly dancing at the back of the tent to a beat usually heard in Muggle songs. As Harry did some very well choreographed dance moves that consisted mostly of those from the early 90's, a deep voice softly chanted rhythmically, in an almost hypnotic fashion:

_Jam Jam Jam  
__Jam! Ya wanna get up and Jam?  
__Jam Jam Jam  
__Ya wanna get up and Jam?_

This actually worked as some of the already standing people had started to sway a little to the beat. Ron and Hermione looked on in awe as Harry performed moves of that of a very popular Muggle singer. He began to sing in an a magically amplified voice:

_Nation To Nation  
All The World  
Must Come Together  
Face The Problems  
That We See  
Then Maybe Somehow We Can Work It Out_

Harry sang these words with a smoothness that no one has ever heard from him before. His moves were like contained excitement finally bursting. As if he had been waiting for such a long while to do this.

_I Asked My Neighbor  
For A Favor  
She Said Later  
What Has Come Of  
All The People  
Have We Lost Voice  
What It's About_

Harry did these moves with gusto as he sang his heart out. He has never performed for anyone, let alone a whole crowd, most of whom he has never met before but he didn't care. He felt like this was something he should do.

_I Have To Find My Peace 'Cause_  
_No One Seems To Let Me Be_  
_False Prophets Cry Of Doom_  
_What Are The Possibilities_  
_I Told My Brother_  
_There'll Be Problems,_  
_Times And Tears For Fears,_  
_We Must Live Each Day_  
_Like It's The Last_

_Go With It  
__Go With It!_

At this moment. The light flashed to a hot red as Harry sang the chorus:

_Jam!  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To_

The energy that Harry projected sent a chill through the place. More people had gotten up and were dancing along with the song, trying to keep up with the energy. Some were trying to imitate his dance moves. The light flashed back to the somber blue as the energy died down a bit.

_The World Keeps Changing  
Rearranging Minds  
And Thoughts  
Predictions Fly Of Doom  
The Baby Boom  
Has Come Of Age  
To Work It Out_

The crowd listened to the lyrics carefully and could defiantly relate to the current plights of the world. They were all glad that whoever the writer of the song was understood what was going on.

_I Told My Brothers_  
_Don't You Ask Me_  
_For No Favors_  
_I'm Conditioned By_  
_The System_  
_Don't You Talk To Me_  
_Don't Scream And Shout_

Harry danced around the stage, his suit coat flying all around the air with a grace that almost rendered it alive.

_She Pray To God, To Buddha_  
_Then She Sings A_  
_Talmud Song_  
_Confusions Contradict_  
_The Self_  
_Do We Know Right_  
_From Wrong_  
_I Just Want You To_  
_Recognize Me_  
_In The Temple_  
_You Can't Hurt Me_  
_I Found Peace_  
_Within Myself_

_Go With It!  
Go With It!_

The light flashed back to the Red as the energy flared up again, almost stronger than what it was before. Nearly the whole crowd were up on the floor dancing with a vigor not really found in Wizard music. Those who called Muggle songs "Loud and Obnoxious" were proven wrong.

_Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To_

Ron and Hermione found themselves on the floor, dancing along to the infectious song. They understand why Harry was singing this song and they thought, perhaps he was right. The lights flashed to a sexy violet as Harry spread his legs and stood for an brief moment with his arms raised in the air.

_Jam!_  
_Aha, It Ain't_  
_It Ain't Too Much Stuff_  
_It Ain't Too Much_  
_It Ain't Too Much For Me To_  
_Jam!_  
_It Ain't_  
_It Ain't Too Much Stuff_  
_It Ain't_  
_Don't You_  
_It Ain't Too Much For Me To_  
_Jam!_

At this moment, members from another Wizard Band suddenly stood up from amidst the crowd and began to play a Jazzy horn section of Trumpets and Saxophones. What was once a quiet wedding was now a bumping club. After a swinging end to the sections, Harry took this chance to show off some really hot moves. He popped and locked and at one point, did an almost flawless moonwalk. At this point, everyone had stopped dancing to watch Harry, clapping along to the rhythm of the song. The lights were now flashing different colors, each color seemingly representing the vibe of the song. Harry went on to the next chorus as if he had gained more energy from the dance break he just did.  
_  
Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
Get On It  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't Stop  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To_

_It Ain't Too Hard For Me To Jam!  
It Ain't Too Hard For Me To Jam!_

Harry seemed like he tried his best to make that statement true. He was experiencing a high like he's never experience before. He couldn't help be feel like he was doing the right thing when he looked at all the smiling people dancing along. He tried to stifle a giggle as Ron nearly tripped trying to do a spin. Harry thought he would do it the right way during the break down. He found himself doing about three spins, his coat flying out behind him. He nearly stumbled himself when he stopped but no one seemed to notice for they were giving a little cheer. As a synth _POP_ sounded out, Harry flung up his arms and then ripped off his coat, flinging it to the right of him

_Get On It!_

The horn sections were blaring loudly, adding to the flavor of the song. Harry began to sing the final chorus with as he dancing around in his Shirtsleeves.

_Jam!  
It Ain't  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To  
Jam!  
Too Much  
It Ain't Too Much Stuff  
It Ain't  
Don't You  
It Ain't Too Much For Me To_

Harry took a look at how the crowd was dancing, especially The Weasleys. Ginny was doing a variation of the Macarena, which consisted of her beginning to do the actual dance but added a move where she flips her hair out with both her hands. Arthur and Molly were doing a version of the Funky Chicken. The strange one being how Fred and George did a few funky moves and suddenly jumps up to hold on to a chin up bar that was there all of a sudden. Harry wished it had went on a little longer but knew he had to end the song

_Get On It  
Get On It  
Give It Baby  
Give It To Me  
Come On  
You Really Give It Too Me  
Got To Give It  
You Just Want To Give It!_

After the last line, a synth Booming noise rang out at the lights flashed a bright white and slowly dimmed to black. When all was silent, the original lights in the tent came back on as Harry stared out to the sea of faces; some were smiling, most were looking in awe. Harry casually walked back to his seat as cheering and clapping erupted from the crowd. Pretty soon, it died down and everyone went back to the party, a more noticeably cheerful air could be hear from the murmuring crowd. Ron and Hermione rushed back over as Harry calmly sipped a drink.

"Harry! That was amazing!" Ron shouted.

"That was an interesting choice of lyrics. I guess you're right. We shouldn't let the dark times dampen our goodtime. You sure lighten the mood here." Hermione said, indicating the giddier atmosphere. Harry gave a little smile.

"Good." He simply said. Harry spotted Elphias Doge at a table ahead. He worked up the courage to get up and talk to him, and as he was about to get up to go other there, Harry could hear an odd noise. A Basketball bounced into view and rolled the rest of the way off screen.

Well, there you have it, the first Music Chapter. Now, I sorta struggled a little bit on some parts but I hope I got it right. So, do ya remember me now?...Good! So, we are in the last days of the first year of the new decade and soon, Quad 1 should be here soon. I hope that all throughout 2011 the frequency of stories will be more than what it was in quite a while. Well, please tell me what ya thought, as well as songs you may want to see be performed. REMEMBER, not every song will make it, seeing as there will be some songs I may not do. We'll see. Either way, Til' The Next!

Notes & Trivia:

Notes:

-This episode was in production on July 19-21, 2009.

-This episode aired December 28, 2010.

-This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Michael Joseph Jackson, The King Of Pop.

TRIVIA:

-This episode was filmed during the production of "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1" as a favor to The Author, who is a big fan of the series. The Author chose the song "Jam" as a tribute to the King Of Pop, who had passed away the previous month.

-Daniel Radcliffe, who plays Harry Potter, had gotten the dance moves down pat during the quick rehearsal sessions. Most of the takes in this episode are the first ones.

-Fred and George jumping up onto the Chin Up Bar and the Basketball are homages to the original video of this song.

-With apologies to MJ, the rap section was omitted due to it not fitting in with the theme of this episode.

-The Author actually wrote this on December 28, 2010 but thought, why not.


End file.
